Monday, July 16, 2007

CALLING ALL GIRLS-THE HEARTACHES pilot


click this link to see the Old Navy kids in action.
There are 4 clips. Each says Old Navy in front of them:
Flares, Big Pocket Jeans, Curly Fleece, Sled
http://www.hoytyboy.com/directors/Director_John_K/Director_Page_John_K.htm

Hi girls! Below are Roxy, Tia, Red and the Curly Fuzz Poodle.I've posted the story for the pilot episode of the Heartaches
and want you to tell me how you like it...

Now all you middle aged men reading it, this ain't for you!!
I have other cartoons with your needs in mind; this is for the girls, ok? Save your comments for the George Liquor posts.
-the management-

Curly Fuzz Trauma (outline)




Here's Roxy. She plays guitar and collects vintage toys at flea markets. They all talk to her. Her favorite is the Curly Fuzz Poodle from a 60s cartoon show. She has to pull his string to get him to talk. He gives her advice on love and life etc. She loves him dearly and he her.

Mom wants to throw out doll
It’s Spring cleaning and Mom and Dad are throwing stuff out. They enter Roxy’s room, and mother shakes her head in disgust. ‘Look at that girl’s mess. She has way too much stuff! Why Daddy, you just spoil her!!

She picks up the Curly Fleece Poodle. ‘Just look at this ragged old thing! Where the heck did you find this dirty beast anyways?’

“I got it at a swap meet. It’s from Roxy’s favorite cartoon show from the ‘60’s. The Curly Crew!”
Mom says, ‘Well, I think we should throw it out. It’s filthy, and besides, she’s getting to be way too old for that sort of thing.’

Dad says, ‘Oh, we can’t throw out the Curly Fuzz Poodle! That’s her favorite doll!’
Dad takes her out of Roxy’s room, ‘C’mon let’s go downstairs and clean out the basement.’
‘Mom says, ‘OK, but I don’t care what you say, I’m coming back to clean out Roxy’s room and that Poodle is out of here!’
The Note
The Curly Fuzz Poodle is devastated but prepared for his fate. ‘It was only a matter of time.’ He writes a farewell note to Roxy, knowing that his end is near.
He opens the window and hurls himself into the trash can outside.

Roxy comes home from school

She had a bad day and needs a hug and a heart to heart talk with her best friend who isn’t flesh and blood.
She goes in her room and sees an empty spot between her other newer dolls and yelps. ‘CFP! Where are you?’
She finds his pitiful note surrounded by clumps of multi colored poodle fluff.
‘Dear Roxy,
You have been my best friend in the whole world, but there comes a time in every old toy’s life when he needs to be recycled. Your Mom has decided that it is my time to be thrown out with the trash.
Goodbye forever,
love,
CFP’

Trash Collector

Roxy runs outside and sees that the trash is gone and she faints.
Mom’s in the dog house
That night at dinner, Roxy’s parents wonder why she’s looking so down.
‘As if you don’t know!’ she blurts.
Mom and Dad are perplexed.
‘You threw out my Curly Fuzz Poodle!’ she accuses Mom.
Mom says, ‘No I didn’t! I wanted to but your father convinced me to let you keep the dirty old thing, didn’t you Daddy?’
Father looks at Mom disappointed.
So now both Roxy and Father think Mom’s a meanie and the household enters an era of strife.
Ext. shot of colorful house as the whole scene turns dim.

Sad Roxy tapes Fuzz Clumps to her Person
We have a sad scene of Roxy sitting on her bed in her pajamas with the little mound of colored clumps on her lap.
She licks each clump and sticks it on her body somewhere-in her hair, on her shoulder, etc.
Next day at school she has the clumps taped to her and gets detention because clumps are forbidden by the dress code.

Bulldog
The next day, A bulldog is rooting through the trash at the county dump, looking for food.
He finds the Curly Fuzz Poodle and says, 'Hey! You’re cute. Lookit that fancy hair! You're one o' them big city dames, ain't ya? I’m gonna make you my wife!’
He takes the poodle home to his dog house and tries to make him happy.
The Curly Fuzz Poodle can’t get used to living in a dog house.
He’s used to the soft life.

At night he freezes.
He doesn’t like to go to the bathroom outside, even with his husband holding his hand.
Finally the Bulldog gets fed up and divorces him at dog court.

Beanie Baby

Mom sees Roxy getting more and more depressed and tries to cheer her up by buying her a lumpy ugly Beanie Baby type toy.
‘Roxy yells ‘Beanie Babies suck!’ She flings the beanie baby out the window and it hits Suzy Stuckup. ‘Wow! I’ve got Sammy Seal now! My collection is complete! I’m queen of the trends!’

Out on his ear

Curly Fuzz walks the streets alone, afraid and unwanted.

Roxy cries to Tia
She calls Tia and tells her that she’s lost her favorite doll.
Tia sympathizes.
Tia’s wall socket listens in on the conversation.
Tia hangs up the phone and leaves her bedroom to go to Roxy’s house.
The wall socket talks to the other inanimate objects in the room.
‘Hey Phone! Did you hear that?!’
Phone: Hear what? I wasn’t paying attention.”
Wall Socket: ‘Tia’s friend has lost her favorite inanimate object!’
A pair of Tia’s tights says, ‘How awful!’
The wall socket pulls itself out of the wall.
Wall socket: ‘C’mon gang, let’s have a conference! We need to help Roxy!’
The phone receiver jumps off the hook and rolls across the floor towards the wall socket.
The rest of the phone yells ‘Hey wait for me!’, jumps off the table and hops across the floor towards the others.
Fade out on the conference as Tia’s room decides what to do.
Puppet Show
Tia is trying to cheer Roxy up in her bedroom by putting on a puppet show.
She has a puppet on each hand and is doing silly voices and waving the pupets in front of Roxy’s face.
Roxy is wasting away, a shadow of her former bubbly self.
As the puppets come closer, she narrows her eyes and bursts out at Tia, “Stop talking. Those aren’t reaaall! They’re just puppets! Puppets! Puppets!!
Curly Fuzz Poodle Doll was real.”

Maynard the cat is sitting next to Tia. He looks up at her and says, “Tsk tsk tsk, she’s gone, man. She’s really gone. Too bad. She was a good master once.”

Skid Row

The Curly Fuzz Poodle ends up begging.
He begs people to pull his talking string; they do it, but his talk box is rusty and his speech is garbled. People feel sorry for him.

CFP is found

CFP decides it’s time to recycle himself, when a mailbox recognizes him.
The mailbox nudges a nearby telephone pole: ‘Hey! Doesn’t that guy match the description of that missing Fuzz character??
Telephone pole: ‘Yeah, that’s the way Tia’s phone described him to me.’
The telephone pole sends a message to Tia’s house: ‘We’ve spotted the Curly Fuzz Poodle, corner of 57th and 3rd, heading northeast, looking mighty ragged.’

Tia’s phone, wall socket, vestibule and tights wait around the corner for the Curly Fuzz Poodle to approach.
The tights jump on CFP and engulph him, tying himself up tight at the top. The tights walk home to Tia’s with CFP inside, and everyone is happy.

CFP gets fixed up
The socket observes CFP’s condition. ‘We can’t take him back like this. We gotta fix him up!’
A drawer in the vestibule opens and a needle and thread hop out. They begin to stitch up CFP’s holes.
The phone pulls his string to try and make him talk. We hear a rusty, garbled groan. ‘He’s all rusted up inside!’
A toothbrush volunteers to help. He sticks his brush into CFP’s ring hole and scrapes the rust off his talking mechanism.
CFP is sparkling and clean.

The objects take him to Roxy’s and shove him back in Roxy’s room through the window.

Mom and Dad argue

Back on Roxy’s bed, CFP just begins to settle in when he overhears an argument outside Roxy’s room.
Dad is accusing Mom of throwing out the Fuzz Poodle and Mom is flatly denying it.
Dad: ‘I can’t believe you threw out that poodle! Roxy hasn’t been the same since! How could you?’
Mom: ‘I’m telling you I never threw it out. You convinced me not to! I have no idea what happened to it.’
The Curly Fuzz Poodle gets an idea. He writes another note to Roxy.

Roxy comes home
She is completely depressed. She hurls her books on the bed and throws herself down for a good sob right smack on top of CFP. She starts crying but we see her back quivering from the agitation of the CFP as he is trying to wriggle out.
A little paw comes out under her belly pulling a talking string.
Roxy hears the string retracting as she has heard so many times before and stops crying.
She smiles as she realizes…she arches her back enough to look under her belly and we hear “Get off.”

She grabs the Fuzz Poodle and gives him a giant hug. She sees the note.
‘Dear Roxy, Your mom never threw me out, I threw myself out. She suggested getting rid of me, and I thought the end was near, so I took care of it myself. Your mom isn’t to blame. She even found me and fixed me up nice for you. So even though she thinks I’m a filthy, repulsive, immature pile of sawdust, she’s letting you have me anyways. That’s how much she loves you.
P.S. Please pull my string.’
She pulls the string. Fuzz Poodle says: ‘AND I LOVE YOU TOO.’

Happy Ending
Roxy runs out to the living room and yells, ‘Mom, thank you!’
Dad sees CFP. ‘Holy mackerel! Where’d he come from?’
Roxy beams, ‘Mom found him and fixed him all up for me!’
Dad looks guilty and gives mom a hug. Mom is dumbfounded.
Everyone hugs.
Hug hug hug love love.

The End


148 comments:

Chet said...

hug hug hug love love,

Ill ask my little sister what she thinks about it in the morning.

Chet said...

ohh yeah,and i demand a story involving that red headed little girl!!!!

rebecca said...

Ahh it's UPA adorable.

Marlo Meekins said...

what an appealing and cute show. i'm going to watch it

Mark said...

I can't wait to watch this with my kids.

Anonymous said...

so cuteeeee i wanna see that show nowwww

Ivy said...

"I'm the queen of the trends" hahahaha I don't know why I thought that was so frickin funny, but it is. Screw Beanie Babies. I think your style (and Katie Rice's) would be just eaten up by young girls. Well, any girls, really. If you could keep it halfway innocent, that'd be picked up in a second.

Anonymous said...

Awesome...Get that on the air...Pronto! Tv needs this show desperately! I've almost lost hope with the crappy cartoons on tv today with no substance...This cartoon is very loveable!!!
----leen

JohnK said...

Hi Lee

he knows all about me.

But thanks!

Your pal,

John

Lee said...

hey John,

I'm an intern at Fred Seibert studio in NY; Frederator Studios. He is always getting pitches for cartoons. Some of the ideas I overhear are crap.

What we need is more original, creator driven ideas, like what you bring through your work.

Maybe you should get in contact with him.
If you are interested, email me and i'll give you his contact info.

nightwing said...

ah old navy commercials...i knew i had seen those chicks....errr...girls before, ill read over it in the mornin, im not a little girl...at least last time i checked, but i figure 20 years of watching every cartoon ever made gives me an abject opinion...maybe

Amid said...

John - I'm willing to become a little girl, a very hairy little girl, if it means I'd get to see cartoons like this. How's that for my first comment?

Anonymous said...

Ah AH !Funniest looking dog I've ever seen!

Shaun said...

Awesome pics yet again!:)

** Shaun **
My awesome blog: ohpunk.blogspot.com

-

hornsofthedevil said...

"I'm an intern at Fred Seibert studio in NY; Frederator Studios."

do you have to bring a crow bar to work every day to fit his head through the door?

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

That's a really cool idea. As a former little girl, I think the ideas in that episode are spot on: lil gals love their favorite toys to pieces, and the fact that you attribute it with it's own personality is perfect. Having all the other inanimate objects come to life is wierd but so appropriate. Kids enjoy having their imaginations bent in surreal directions, especially the gag with the tights!

The only thing I can think of to really plus plus plus it is that most shows featuring little girls tend to cast their characters really blandly, like how one is always the bitchy one, the smart one, the timid-cute one (like powerpuff girls, josie and the pussycats...not that it's a bad thing, it's just been seen before). I'd really, super duper love this show if those three little girls had personalities that were also unusual and unique.

Hope that helps!

Nico said...

I cannot see how execs would NOT want something like this available to viewers. It's charming, cute and friendly for any age -- but wacky and CARTOONY at the same time! i don't think there is a show on TV right now that's even remotely like that. Get this on the air!

Nico said...

by the way, Roxy's AC/DC pajama top cracks me up.

David Germain said...

Designs are great as usual. However, I'm not entirely sure about the music the Heartaches play. It's got this Archies vibe that I'm not sure little girls would go for these days. But I might be wrong. You can't always predict what the public will accept or reject. But, maybe adding a splash of Avril Lavigne to their songs might help sell it a little better.

mia said...

nice one you got here!!!!

Nathan Jones said...

Great Cartoon!! My neices love it! If this was a TV show, they would be hooked!

Steve said...

the suits are gonna get all shifty eyed and lawyer scaly at the 'beanie baby' mention...how about 'teenie weenies'....'look roxy i got u a teenie weenie' (holding it up in silhouette, limply) "teenie weenies bite, mom" ...love the ac/dc shirt, but couldn't that dog be a lot filthier?

Anonymous said...

Very cute and funny story!

reed said...

i like it, but Please bring back ren and stimpy.

WIL said...

Hi Uncle John,

This is Wil's unborn child. I LOVE your cartoons & plan on watching them when I come out!

Signed,
-Fetus

Anonymous said...

I will watch the show, if and when it comes out

Signed-

Vanessa

R2K said...

Cute :)

R2K

johnnn said...

hmmm i'm sure you get this all the time but why does the cartoon look retro?... might be funny if it were set in the future or something like the jetsons...
- johnnn

Alicia said...

I think this is a realy cute idea and I would love to see it, especially since I still sleep with my old stuffie (going on 25 years!)

Do NOT click here! said...

I like He-Hog better.

Mish said...

Gitta give it to ya John, this is a REALLY good concept and could REALLY work out.

It seems to me like your cartoon ideas are one-shot things and since you have so many (and let's face it, production doesn't exactly take a short amount of time) it would be awesome if you got a studio to take all these cartoon stories and lap them together in separate episodes. So like - one episode HeHOG, next episode Curly Fleece Poodle etc. This way you could keep the show fresh ALL THE TIME and keep bringing in new material. It wouldn't be repetitive and you could target more than one audience.

Eemos said...

I do not believe that one needs to be a little girl to appreciate the humor of this episode. My particularly favorite visual is CFP's tongue.

Brian Romero said...

This looks so cool. I may be a 32 year old man-child, but I'll watch any cartoon as long as it kicks ass. The fact that little girls loved Powerpuff Girls didn't stop me from watching the show and buying the DVD's. My girlfriend thinks the drawings are cute, funny and full of energy... but she's a 26 year old art director and has an eye for quality art and design.

Good luck to both of you with the pitch!

z0mbi said...

Ahh cute. So...are they in a band?

Neon said...

Hey guys,

this would rock- and I would def watch it! I love the idea-it seems more wacky and retro than other lame crap that is aimed at the 'girl market'. I like the ac-dc t-shirt, little touches like that make it even cooler! In the picture with all her toys there is a little blue and pink elephant/rabbit/dog thingy; now he is CUTE and I would love to have one just like him! I'm smelling a merch opportunity already!
good luck with the pitch.

Anonymous said...

Wanna have this show on TV!

Eemos said...

I do believe that that was the first Old Navy Commercial I've ever seen that didn't compel me to seek the nearest lavatory.

potato farm girl said...

Good luck with the pitch. Alot of people would watch this.

CTG said...

great stuff as usual, I can already see where the usual John K. gross out stuff (peeing outdoors, the toothbrush in the rusty hole bit) will fit nicely into the cutesy story.

frankenstein's creature said...

I love this story!

I think it could be a favorite show fro little girls!

It's terribly funny ( the cat gag reminds me of WB Looney tunes). the story is marvellous and I think the show would be the same!

Joan said...

awww so magical and sweet story i love it make it in to a show pleasseeee

Peggy said...

Pitch Wednesday? That's today now, isn't it. Kick some ass.

tim said...

Almost plays out like something I used to imagine as a kid...I can totally see myself enjoying it as a guilty pleasure.

tim said...

Oh, and you can't beat surf-rock...it's only the happiest genre of music ever.

cool cat said...

This story looks like a perfect mixture of Disney storytelling and Looney Tunes sense of gags

Tits McGee said...

This is fabulous, and exactly what I was hoping for. Looks great, with solid, imaginative storytelling, and it's totally adorable. I would definitely watch this with my daughter.

The CFP bulldog marriage and the intervention of the inanimate objects are the real kickers - they give it some edge that parents will appreciate. Love the AC/DC shirt, too. Nice touch.

Now go pitch the hell out of this thing, because I want it on my television.

Phil said...

a cartoon where little girls don't act like sluts? Sounds good to me, I really love the designs on Roxy.

Good luck with you guys on this.

Anonymous said...

This is a very note-worthy idea. The style goes perfect with the whole idea. ;) Keep up the work.

j_Swick said...

Ok, I asked my coworkers daughter(nine years old) what she thought:

The first thing she said was "it is funny." She loved the old navy commercial especially the one where they are playing in the band. She asked if they always played music because she thought that would be cool. She absolutely loved the dog. What surprised me was that she made the comment, "it looks like the old cartoons."

Now, I'm a 27 year old male and I would watch this show just because I laugh at the funny pictures. I also promise to buy the products that advertise during your show.

Hope that helps,
Jason

Dove said...

LOVE IT! I'd watch it right along with my daughter Lexie :) I too love the AC/DC PJ's, I actually had some like that haha. I like how even when you make kid cartoons you throw some things in there for the adults :) 99% of cartoons right now are CRAP! I have no idea what my daughter will be watching in a few years (she's only 10 months now so doesnt give a flip about TV) so hopefully by then you will have a few out, and I can tell her "Hey Lexie I met that guy that makes your favorite cartoon once when I was a funny lookin teeniebopper!" and she won't care. The end.

Luv ya!
Cindy

Duck Dodgers said...

Fun-tastic, that's the idea!

It would change the entire conception of TV shows made for girls, in my opinion!

If I wre a rich producer, I would soon give you as much money as you need to produce this show!

Bitter Old Birds said...

This is a great story! I can really empathize with the horrific tragedy of your parents deciding what old toys to throw out for you. I think you would have a pretty wide age demographic amongst the female viewers for this one. The style looks fantastic and I would LOVE to watch it.

Desiree said...

it looks like the old cartoons?? if you ask me, I never got used to the look of the "new" cartoons.
anyway, WOW! pitch today! hope it goes well!! because we sure want this on the air. Im so happy poodle looks funny:D!
and ur about the first ive seen in years that can make inanimate objects come to life and be funny. When i was 7 and Beauty and the beast came out, i was NOT impressed by their inanimate objects. They were too "anatomically correct" if that makes any sense.

Jennifer said...

Wow, this seems like something that young girls would like, especially in the 8-12 yr old category. From what I can tell about the story, it's really cute without being saccharine and really edgy without being bizarre. Hopefully you and Katie get commissioned for the series....

Anonymous said...

Well, crap; i'd watch anything that's got dream pets, cats, cute girls, and pretty colors. All it needs is some adorable violence, then it'd be perfect.

(( I'd probably buy the toys, too. ))

Anonymous said...

It is beautiful and tragic, your story. it's also funny and cute. I love it. And pretty! Please please animate it and make all kids happy, especially little girls. Thanks.

Jayro L. said...

Hey John,

My name's Jayro. When I was a kid I used to watch The Ren & Stimpy show and It blew me away. The colors, penciling, movement, story and characters are amazing. It inspired me to draw as a child. Now I'm 20 and I make cartoons of my own. I haven't been able to show anyone my stuff because here in Florida there is there isn't anywhere I can go to. I'm reading and learning to better animate and I have the basic swing of things in that department but I wish to learn more so I continue to self-teach. I graduated from high-school
in 2004 and now I'm in College. I'm currently building a portfolio or atleast a pretty full book. The reason I write to you is (and this may sound a bit corny so bare with me) that you're a hero in my book. you showed people that cartoons shouldn't boundaries and that it doesn't just have to target children. You revolutionized cartoons as we know it and I admire that. I want to see if you could critique my work and if you could give me some advice as to where I can go or what can I do to take this to the next step. I rpomise this isn't graffiti art (LoL).

Sincerely,
Jayro L.
P.S.

Please feel free to email me at
JayroLantigua2385@yahoo.com if you get the chance.

akira said...

okey i'm not a little girl, but i thought this was a show about a little girl rock band or something... if this is the pilot i think you've gotta work in at least one little song..

and maybe first show how the characters are before the traumatic incident (possibly cheery or happy) so that you will feel the change when everything goes to hell. otherwise it might seem like just a bunch of miserable characters all the time and the impact of losing the dog is lost.

maybe the main characters could actually be doing stuff to drive the plot, not just the bedroom objects and it'll seem a little less like toy story.

Anonymous said...

The show is great and I'll watch every episode, buy the dvds ...when you will post the rest of the George Liquor story?

Mitch K said...

Hey John, I read and showed this entire post to my little sister (age 13), and here’s how she reacted:

In the first Old Navy commercial, she loved the audience, and she loved and laughed at how Roxy was “rockin’ hardcore!” She liked the second commercial the best though, with the Curly Fuzz Poodle and the dancing. I started showing her the pictures, and she thought the fuzz on CFP’s tongue was comical – she thinks he’s very loveable. My sister can relate to having a really really messy room, and having out dad spoil her. In the drawing with all of the stuffed animals, she loved that fact that Roxy was wearing an AC/DC shirt! She also liked the little Donald-Duck-type character (because he’s ‘cute’). My sister loves the word ‘beast’, so the mother’s comment about CFP being a ‘dirty beast’ made my sister laugh (a real laugh, too). When my sister heard me read CFP’s note, she said ‘No! I don’t want him to go!’ She thought that his ear all scrunched in the glass was weird, and that his enlaced toes were funny. Then when she saw the drawing of Roxy with fuzz tapped all over her, she said, ‘Tapping them on? That’s a sin!’ She laughed a real good laugh at the ‘dress code’ gag.

(by the way, there’s ‘heartbreak’ all over my sister’s face during the sad scenes I read to her)

My sister LOVES the whole scene with CFP and the bulldog! She loved the bit about marrying CFP. She loves that CPF can’t even pee when HIS HUSBAND is holding HIS hand. She even liked the divorce doggy court. She loved it. She really loved the name ‘Suzie Stuckup,’ and her ditzy attitude. That one gave her a good laugh.

“Curly Fuzz walks the streets alone, afraid and unwanted” She nearly cried when I read that to her.

I wasn’t sure about how she was feeling about the inanimate objects talking in Tia’s room… until the phone jumped down and the rest of it said, ‘Hey wait for me!’ She would have really liked the part when the phone wasn’t paying attention, but I read it wrong by accident (sorry). That’s the kind of stupid thing she’d really gets a kick out of, if she had seen it animated.

My sister thought that Maynard the cat was weird hand hilarious! She was grossed out with a big smile from the bug in Maynard’s mouth. My sister then printed out Maynard so she can put him up in her locker at school.

My sister felt sorry for CFP when other people did too.

She liked pantyhose. She liked how they grabbed CFP and took him home. She was delighted to hear me read about CFP getting fixed up! She wasn’t too happy about his garbled groan to begin with (it made her sad).

My sister loved the Mom & Dad Argue scene! After I read the argument to her, she immediately added the father’s response: “You think it just got up and WALKED out on its OWN!?”

My sister’s response to the part when Roxy pulled CFP’s string to hear the ‘And I love you too” was a heartfelt ‘Awwwww!!’

I asked my sister in the end what she thought about the whole thing. She said ‘There’s nothing I’d change!’ and ‘I would buy a Curly Fuzz Poodle!’

She also wanted me to tell you: ‘You’re hilarious! Make this cartoon! And I love Ren & Stimpy!’

So there you go.

Jorge Garrido said...

I love how the poodle looks like the dog from Hare Ribbin'!! Great touch, John!

Adrien Gilbert said...

I showed my sister and she said they were really cute! She likes shows like the Powerpuff Girls and Bratz, though.

Anonymous said...

This show will be girls' favorite one!

- Giulio

Vanoni! said...

Haven't received a response yet from the 'little ones' I emailed - but for what it's worth I'd personally watch this in a heartbeat.
Or heartache.

Whatever.

– Corbett

Anonymous said...

How much it would take to have the series released if you will soon find a producer?

ryan said...

this sounds like a very promising, funny story. the scenes involving the poodle's hardships seem especially promising IE living in the dog house & slumming it up on skid row

i think this would be a very good kids' show

Baron Von Josho said...

Despite the obnoxious cuteness, this IS awesome...! TO ALL LITTLE GIRLIES: WATCH THIS OR DIE!!!

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely adorable!

ike said...

Right on! I used to love those commercials when they originally aired, and always thought they should have a show. Glad you are revisiting this idea; I know it will do well.

benj said...

Great story!
I hope you get someone to produce it.

I'll watch it, thats for sure!

Evan said...

The look of this show is great, I could see it really catching on. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

.

Anonymous said...

Terrific Stuff! Just adore it!

kp said...

Extremely cute with plenty of unexpected craziness to balance it out. I think girls of all ages can enjoy it. Love the "Beanie babies" line. Ha!

Dew said...

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if you have time website www.blogsplode.com which is also a weblogging website I created and it has a lot of feature not available on blogger.com.. please join and also invite others. thanks :)

- Dew

Anonymous said...

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I SO WANNA SEE THAT SHOW !!!

marty said...

i'd watch the hell out of this.

the concept for the show is great, that storyline is hilarious and refreshingly creative, and i think that music is a great breakaway from trying to be 'hip'. yes indeed.

Sr. Moska said...

It's so cute that it scares me hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Fred Seibert and Jesus are going to fight over this pitch to the death! May the best perceived diety win!

JohnK said...

hey Mitch K,

what a great post!Those are exactly the reactions we were aiming for.

Tell your sis she's my hero.

Thanks for all the details!

Your pal,
John

Tim said...

Will the old navy adds appear before the cartoon show is on the air? To me it's an odd way to introduce the characters to the world at large. Loved it al the same however.

Anonymous said...

Great and funny looking drawings. I love the translucent lines in the story sketches. marker?

Anonymous said...

put it on tv !!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think this script has some really charming and innovative moments (especially the inanimate objects) -but the poodle marrying the bulldog and the toothbrush up the arse? You must know that's going to be shot down in flames by execs!! Why even bother with those bits anyway? Do you really need frat-boy humor in a show aimed at little girls? Or is the poodle just an excuse to make gay jokes? That spoiled it for me. I liked the rest of it, btw.
Those old navy commercials are gorgeous. If you can make your show look like this, you're on to a winner!

Aimee Nester said...

Hi Mr.K, My 10 yr old daughter loved the adventure the poodle had. She remembered the time she was little, riding on the back of my bike. She dropped her purple beanie bag hippo. She cried all the way to day care as we could not go back to pick up. Later that day we found purple hippo with tire treads on his back and happily brough him home. Who knows what his day was like? This is a story that she could relate to!!!

JohnK said...

>>I think this script has some really charming and innovative moments (especially the inanimate objects) -but the poodle marrying the bulldog and the toothbrush up the arse?

I almost took the bulldog out of the pitch for the same worry, but that was the part that got the biggest laugh.

There is no toothrush "up the arse"-it's in the belly where the talking ring is.Where is YOUR talking ring??

Thanks for the comments! We will take out whatever the sponsor thinks is no good!

John

Lord Turbine said...

HOLY CRAP, WHAT IN THE NAME OF AWESOMENESS -- THIS ROCKS! Most original idea ever... and funny... in a cute sort of way.

If I were a network executive, I'd definately take this. It's like a non-violent, funnier version of The Powerpuff Girls, which is a very good sign.

"Just don't give it to Viacom, you know what happened last time. :P"

R. Banuelos said...

My sister saw this, she's 18.

"It looks a little pre-school."

"I think girls who watch the powerpuff girls would watch this."

"It looks okay."

"Too cheesy."

She's not real into it, but she liked the character design.

R.Banuelos

QueefBizzle said...

Best looking dog I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

eew, hairy tongue.
talking wall socket + cute girls is good too.

<>

Anonymous said...

Wanna know more about 'em.

lyris said...

Reminds me a bit of the story of Stimpy's Big Day and the Big Shot, for some reason. Which is a very good thing. Love the bulldog part as well!

I'm a 19 year old guy and I'd watch it...

Duck Dodgers said...

Yeah, I'm a 22 year boy and I do not care what other people would think. I would sure watch this show!

R2K said...

Why are cartoon women always so sexy? Anyone?

R2K

James said...

I like it, like I like most of your stuff, but:

There's no band stuff in that episode. I thought at least maybe they should do a song at the end of every show or something. This is a pilot episode, so it should encapsulate what you see the series being about. I would guess this means having some band scenes in there - otherwise it's like having Peter Parker spend a whole episode without turning into Spiderman.*

Also, the roles of Mom and Dad- they strike me as cliched 50's TV parents. Presumably this is a deliberation on your part, but your target market aren't going to appreciate postmodernist touches like that, they'll just take it on face value and think the cartoon a little dated. Anyway, it won't fly with the executives who commission this stuff.

I'm only taking time out to write this because I think the cartoon looks potentially great and I love your stuff, so please don't get mad!

*Or like having Spiderman but not giving him any buildings to swing off of. Have you seen that Spiderman movie where they send him to rural china?

James said...

Also, how come her appliances all come together to help CFP? Surely it should be the rest of the band who find CFP, so we can see how the friends pull together for each other- after all, that's what being in a band is about.

With such a simple story it seems a shame to over-complicate it by adding so many characters. It's neat that her room talks, but having the talking room take over the story and detract from the main characters is silly.

This is probably what the execs are going to tell you at the pitch and I know you're mistrustful of any advice given by those type of people. However, I think these pointers would really strengthen the show without you having to compromise any of your artistic integrity or style. Please don't just disregard good advice on the basis of it being exec-y advice.

BB (O.รถ) said...

Wonderfull!!

Really liked it :)*

Wicks for Candlesticks said...

If needed I'll participate in a sample-survey-opinion-whatever you call it group for this series. I'll even wear a dress if necessary... Ok, even if it's not necessary. That's how much I'm jonesin' for some Spumco.

I think we are all in agreement that we need something to make it worthwhile to get up early on Saturday mornings again. aahhhhh...memories of Ripping Friends flooding the mind. Nice.

Anonymous said...

One of the best idea for a TV show i've ever heard about.

Eebs said...

Gotta see some Red action!!

Jennifer said...

So how did the pitch go? Did the network execs bite? I hope they did - I think this could cause a backlash against the "trashy girls" cartoons like Bratz.

BTW - I showed this to my 4-year old goddaughter...she didn't quite understand the story (I had to explain it to her), but she really loved the "pictures".

Yasamin said...

I am a huge cartoon addict and that is just adorable. that would be right up there with foster's and such. good stuff man. i really hope they choose to air it. :)

JohnK said...

Hi James

>>There's no band stuff in that episode. I thought at least maybe they should do a song at the end of every show or something.
This is a pilot episode, so it should encapsulate what you see the series being about.

Well it's not about the band. It's about the characters. They just happen to have a band, but not till later in the series. In fact their band is kinda crappy at first like most kid bands.They get better later on.

>>Also, how come her appliances all come together to help CFP? S

Because it's a cartoon and cartoons are magic. At least they used to be and mine still are.

>>This is probably what the execs are going to tell you at the pitch

Actually they laughed a lot, especially at the most impossible scenes, but you're right, most executives WOULD tell me to take all the fun parts out.

But I feel my duty is to make cartoons that have tons of fun and magic in them. I wouldn't give kids asparagus ice cream you know. I give neopolitan.

Thanks for the comments!

Your pal,

John

Anonymous said...

Keep doing cartoons, John!

Duck Dodgers said...

You are the only pure heir of Bob Clampett!
You are my favorite cartoon director alive and one of my favorites of all times!!!

A. M said...

they are great!

James said...

>>Also, how come her appliances all come together to help CFP? S

>Because it's a cartoon and cartoons are magic. At >least they used to be and mine still are.

No, don't get me wrong, I think it's great that the appliances come to life, you can make the car and the washing machine and the chimney pot come to life for all I care- what I mean is that story resolution should come about through the actions of the main characters, if we're going to care about them at all. Just getting some random thing the characters have no control over to make everything all ok again is called 'deus ex machina'. It's the classic pitfall of bad writing, and I know you're better than that...

>>This is probably what the execs are going to tell you at the pitch

>>Actually they laughed a lot, especially at the most impossible scenes, but you're right, most executives WOULD tell me to take all the fun parts out.

So you pitched it? Cool! How did it go, you reckon they're going to give you a series?

Stefano D. said...

When do we get more?

JohnK said...

>>what I mean is that story resolution should come about through the actions of the main characters, if we're going to care about them at all.

The main character is the light switch. Wasn't that obvious?

Gabriel said...

The deus ex machina is not bad per se if it won't hurt the suspension of disbelief. Cartoons are naturally wacky, and being one of the most stylized forms of storytelling they're not as bound to conventional narrative structures as films are, for instance. The fact that cartoons are not meant to be taken for reality allows them to be freer. This is actually a strenght if understood correctly (and John sure does).

Mat said...

Hey John, I'm taking a speech class at UCF, and I have decided to do it on the golden age of cartoons. Could you give me your reasonings as to what makes those cartoons great so that I can use it as a credible source? Thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I hate all these formulas "James" is tossing out. Forget formula. The focus should be on being entertaining. Which this is.

JSilverman said...

I liked for cartoon. Have you ever considered getting your works published as a actual book? Check out the Author House at http://www.authorhouse.com.

The Raven Flight said...

James...don't be a doorknob.

John K, the show looks great. Even if it has a few things about it that the suits don't like it'll still be better than 99% of the crap kids have to choose from. So please make your animated show, and fight tooth-n-nail to keep it a director's show and not a mass-marketed, pop culture infused, McDonald's happy meal show.

I eat tacos because they taste good.

Dustin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dustin said...

Oh man, I love the designs of those girls, Roxy in particular. Curly Fuzzy Poodle reminds me of a dog in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Awesome stuff, those girls are ADORABLE! I'd definately watch that show.

david gemmill said...

hahaah this is funny! my favorite part is the tights walking, thats a really funny crazy walk cycle, plus the Curly poodle inside the tights is really great. I hope the show gets picked up.

Justin said...

Hello John.

Long time huge fan blahblahblah.

Made a comic you might enjoy. Definitely the result of growing up with ren and stimpy humour.

COMIC IS HERE

Eamo said...

G'day John,
Love the Heartaches Navy Jeans ads!! Have you ever considered releasing a DVD of all the ads you've made, along with any other cool animation tests and stuff that has never been seen before? Hey why don't you make this blog into a DVD????? The celeb
caracatures as special features, ect. And you could get us all to post reviews for the cover art to make it look proffesional "Fantastic, just what the animation world needs, more John K!" Eamo, Blogger.com
I know I'd buy it!!!

Anonymous said...

I absolutly love it!
Roxy is just adorable. She reminds me of every cute little blonde girl I ever baby-sat.
I simply cannot wait for this! And neither can my little brother, which is odd, since he despises all that is girly and cute.
He's a huge fan of yours.
All I ask is that when this show goes into production, you make some bloody t-shirts! You have no idea what I'm going through, trying to find Ren and Stimpy merchandise right now.

Eric C. said...

Very nice John.

I remember that Bob Clampett was not only a animatior/director but a puppeteer as well. I heard that Chuck was a puppeteer at one time.

Have you ever explored that medium of puppetry or even had little instrest in it when it comes to acting almost live cartoon characters so it seems ? Or you probably didn't have interest in it.

Tell me your opitions, I'd love to hear them.

_Eric

Anonymous said...

I'm 17 and a girl.I would definately watch the show.I loved how the dad thought the mom threw the poodle away and got all disapointed.

Anonymous said...

tex avery would smile and i think the creativity is more than cute-more!

Hunter said...

That was awesome. Bravo!
Except I like beanie babies ._. Was it really just a shallow trend?
I was really attached to the dolphin one, "Flash." Except I lost him several years ago...
I was sad ;-;
>.>''

sheerbeauty said...

enjoyed it!
Only thing I would change is the "agitation of Roxy's back" as the toy struggles to pull its string - if I had bellyflopped onto something and it was moving enough to agitate my back, you can bet I wouldn't need my ears to tell me something alive was under me - I would leap up yelling "RAT! RAT!"

Thad K said...

Hey John,

Those are some REALLY nice, clean drawings you have there. And the story is interesting too... I mean, when's the last time there's been an inanimate objects come to life cartoon? Well, at least a GOOD one...

It definitley sounds like a show I wouldn't be tortured into watching while babysitting! And that's a good thing!

Matthew Hunter said...

You know, that actually sounds like a really cool idea. It's something any kid could relate to, as well as any adult. The drawings are nice, too, and the idea of the inanimate objects coming to life kind of reminds me of the Harman/Ising (and later Tashlin, Freleng, Clampett, etc.) "things come to life" series. Animated television needs a show like this. But I have a suggestion. I know it's your style to make a lot of naughty jokes and be gross...but I think you've stumbled on an idea that doesn't need that. Just play it straight. It's absurd enough to stand on its own. It doesn't have to be overly cute or sappy, either. I think this idea is much better than George Liquor. A lot more people can relate to a child and her favorite toy than they can a dirty old man with back hair and a gun!

Nic Kramer said...

This may be one of the few girl shows I may actully watch. Thanks John (This is not sacasstic. I mean it!)!

Holly said...

oh. so funny, i enjoy to read it!!!

Anonymous said...

I especially like the doghouse part, the puppet show part and the tights part. Can't wait to see it some time!

skamperdanskitty said...

awwww! I love it! that's so cute it's gotta be criminal

RagingGurrl said...

Great story, sweet characters - The image of Roxy placing fuzzy bits on herself is so tender. You have a gift for drawing your audience in; I'm looking forward to seeing Roxy again so please keep us posted on where and when we'll be able to watch .

I've emailed this site to my "girl" friends so hope you'll get more feedback soon.

Cheers -

RG

Zee Dryviar said...

sweet jeezus. this makes me want to watch it. it reminds me of older cartoons i used to watch when i was really little. can't wait to see it animated.

Rachel said...

Well, what do you know? John K. can do "cute." And it really is--the designs for Roxie, Tia, and Red are really adorable. Granted, the proposed series still has your typical touches, of course (I love the fact inanimate objects, like Tia's phone and even her *tights*, come to life). I can hardly wait to see how the scene of Tia's tights walking home with the stuffed toy inside them look in animation.

I've become addicted to those Old Navy ads of yours--I have to watch them again and again. They're the only Old Navy ads that *aren't* grating and annoying.

Rachel said...

One more comment if you don't mind, John. As I mentioned in one of your other entries, I'm trying to come up with a comic strip with a little girl main character. Thanks to you, I feel compelled to rework my character designs completely to up the "cute" quotient. It's frustrating, since I'm not accustomed to drawing characters with the sort of large, expressive eyes yours have.

Anonymous said...

A nice story...it's my opinion that some of your best work is actually the sweeter more character driven stuff as opposed to the gutter-minded lunacy you're more famous for.

One criticism is that I don't really think the parents arguing is required. I don't know, it just seems like a kind of drab depressing bit of reality in an otherwise nice bit of light fantasy for kids. Also the mom comes off as a giant bitch.

I don't think the parents need or should be taken out entirely...but that part of the story could be reworked a bit.

- Nate Birch

electronic circuits said...

I like it

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averagedrinker said...

the curly crew is just so cute. they're so vintage. not to mention i like the genre, i like crazy drawings, more of like eaxxagerated crafts. you remind me of the bare bears.LOL! my guy on webdate hates cartoons so i can't really connect with him with these things. now i know i have one here.

caporana115 said...

the theme song should be the song they used in the begining troop beverly hills!

im a 12 year old boy that saw all your cartoons ren and stimpy lost episodes,the goddamn george liquor program,weekend pussy hunt,ripping friends,boo boo runs wild,day and the life of ranger smith and the rest!

just great great animation!

ps i hope someone buys the goddamn george liquor program.

Jennie Rosenbaum said...

So cute with a lovely surreal edge - love it!

Dear Joshy said...

Dear Mr. Kricfalusi,

What markers did you use to create this? http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/uploaded_images/heartachesposter02-799821.jpg

Best Regards,
- Josh

Taco Wiz said...

I'm an eleven year old boy. Despite being male, I enjoyed this story. With some sad music, it could be like Son of Stimpy, minus the fart jokes.

Sven Hoek said...

Very imaginative! That's what's missing most from cartoons these days. Crazy ideas are the most fun and those ideas have been missing for decades. Talking inanimate objects are hilarious. Why should it just be animals who talk??

I love the phone socket pulling itself from the wall and then the phone running after it.

Kid_Jacob said...

I know you said no boys, but I've just got to say this: if there's one thing I think you've been terribly misguided about throughout the years is that for a show to be for guys, there has to be cursing, poop humor, boobs, gross-out jokes, etc. That was the problem with a lot of the Adult Party Cartoons--Ren and Stimpy ALREADY appealed to adults. To make an adult-centric Ren and Stimpy seemed redundant. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Heartaches is brilliant. It may have girl protagonists, but I'm enjoying your storyboards as much as I am any of your other "guy" cartoons. Don't think just because Ren and Stimpy or George Liquor has a lot of potty jokes and cursing means it's for guys, and don't assume that just because Heartaches is more lighthearted means its for girls. If it's good, it's good.

Kid_Jacob said...

Also, I showed this to my sister and she thought it was brilliant. The Nicktoons Network has been showing Ren and Stimpy Re-runs (some of them uncut, which is interesting)and she's really been enjoying those, so I showed her this as well. I'll be completely disgusted if nobody picks this show up. It's gold! I mean seriously, does anybody NOT like this?