Sunday, April 09, 2006

George Liquor Stories 3-fast food, lust and atheists

Here are a few more premises for George Liquor stories!



Fast Food
Slab ‘n’ Ernie convince George to take them to McDonald’s for a treat.
George has never been to a fast food restaurant before and is stunned when he discovers what they call meat there. He pulls out the flimsy dried little burnt grey disk out of the soggy bun and looks through it –“This thing died of old age!!”
He goes crazy with outrage and shows everyone what real meat is and tastes like. There is a cow eating in the restaurant and he takes some slices off the cow and fries them up. Everyone, even the cow, agrees that organic, fresh meat is much better than the crap they pass off as meat in fast food restaurants.

JIMMY IS IN LOVE

1. SET-UP:
Jimmy comes home acting weird. He’s light on his feet, floating around dreamily. He’s in love.
George thinks he’s sick. He feels his forehead for fever.
George puts a thermometer in his mouth.
Sody swings on the gate out in front of George and Jimmy’s house.
Jimmy stares out the window making strange noises.
George understands the problem—Jimmy’s in love.

George leads Jimmy away from the window and tries to talk him out of having contact with women, “What you wanna go hangin’ `round with girls for? They got all that soft crap hangin’ off of `em. You notice that?”

Jimmy imagines Sody’s curves and nods yes.
George: “Women are fags! Afterall, they like to see men naked don’t they?”
Jimmy looks out the window and sees Sody.

2. BODY:
George calls Sody inside.

George has talk with Sody
Finally George realizes it’s no use. Jimmy is at that age.

GEORGE’S ADVICE

George teaches Jimmy the ropes, “When I was a teenager they called me ‘Lover Liquor’”
George turns Mabel’s picture face down.
Toilet seat
GL: “Leave the toilet seat up at her house. It reminds her who’s boss.”
Drive Drunk
“Drive 80-miles-an-hour on the freeway blind drunk. She’ll know you’re a real man.”

Antlers
George puts antlers on Jimmy’s head.
Jimmy Attacks
GL: “Go ahead, mark your territory on that telephone pole over there!”
George’s tip “Beat the crap out of somebody in front of your gal, girls love that.”
Jimmy (wearing antlers) attacks a suave looking boy who is talking to Sody.
3. END: (a secret! You'll have to wait till someone buys this damn show finally.)


The Dirty Atheist
George’s pal Victor Lugnuts has a problem. His son is an atheist. George offers to cure the kid and get him into heaven.
When Eddie the atheist starts asking George unanswerable questions, George sputters and concludes that Eddie is possessed by the “Science Demon” - a monster who goes around planting fossil evidence in the ground and genetic evidence in our bodies. This kind of demon can’t be reasoned with because he cheats by using logic. George performs an exorcism on Eddie and removes the accursed demon.

all kinds of stuff: The George Liquor Program
all kinds of stuff: George Liquor Stories 1
all kinds of stuff: George Liquor Stories 2
The George Liquor Program Spinoffs: 2 Dirty Pussies

93 comments:

Anonymous said...

So I take it George's only exposure to rap music is at a stoplight?

Gabriel said...

Waaah! I can't stand this anymore, we must have this show! Where are you millionaires?
The 'science demon' idea is great!

Clarke (Csnyde) said...

These sound like the best GL concepts that you have posted so far John. I'm dying to know what the surprise ending of the "Jimmy in love with Sody" storyline entails. I see lots of potential for hilarity and funny drawings in each one of these and hopefully someone with a lot of money does too.

I'm also curious to know if you you got a chance to read my response to your e-mail yet?

Robert Hume said...

LOL really great shit!!! Yeah they almost need a channel dedicated to this kind of stuff. I love it!

David Germain said...

I've got three concepts I'd like to turn into a TV show as well. I feel your pain, John. Oh well, maybe someday.
Oh, and about that fast food, I'm a little too intimate with that right now. Did you know that McDonalds deep fries all the fries in 47 cubic pounds of lard?

P.C. Unfunny said...

I can't stand this.Stupid shows like Bo-Bo....what ever the fuck ya call it,12 oz. mouse and Scarborough Country on the air and THIS ISN'T ???????????????????????????????????????

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

Criminy! Those are great! I think that must be the best drawing of Sody yet!

My favorite has to be the "Jimmy in Love" but they all sound terrific. What does Mabel look like?!?

Evan said...

I love how Jimmy has camel toe sometimes... haha.

Anonymous said...

Premises premises!
Simon.

Shawn said...

Hey John!!!
These stories are hilarious! Yes, sir, you've still got the goods! I was laughing my ass off just reading these ideas ("even the cow agrees")!!! I swear, if I ever won the lottery, I would buy you a huge deluxe Spumco studio, complete with the FUNDS to do FULL-ANIMATION, just like Clampett did in the 1940's. Some day, John! Some day!

Anonymous said...

Jesus christ, these were hillarious.

J.D.P said...

I like the social commentary that peaks through the 'dirty atheist' story.

lastangelman said...

gabriel said...
Waaah! I can't stand this anymore, we must have this show! Where are you millionaires?


Paul G Allen,Vulcan Productions, I'm sure he can be sold, and he's very hands off.

Tooth beavers, science demons, nose goblins, where do you come with this stuff? Very funny stuff!

I like the McDonald's episode, I feel the same way about real meat (I'll never forget that Ripping Friends episode when the cow cuts a side of flesh from itself and gives it to Slab in The Ovulator!). Steaks should also be grilled over an open flame not pan fried! YUK!

But back to stories...
Jimmy in love is going to be a great cartoon if it is ever produced. Sody suckin' on Jimmy's mouth and tongue is going to priceless. Pity Forrest Gump beat you to retard sex scene (Robin Wright jumpin' in Forrest's bed in middle of night) but you can most definitely create the most memorable retard seduction scene in film or teevee history!

demi said...

Hey does Sody have a MySpace profile?

/swoon

Tengu said...

George: “Women are fags! Afterall, they like to see men naked don’t they?”

I believe this line is genius.

And true!

Anonymous said...

man o man i cant wait dude dooo it nowwwww

Phil Johnston said...

Anybody seen this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/100_Greatest_Cartoons

It's a crime R&S only made it to #18.
Plus no 'Rocket Robinhood'. For shame. Well it was polled in the UK.

By the way, love the concepts John. I don't need anymore convincing. Make that show happen!

Steve Brandon said...

Eh, I eat there at least once a week, but I also like cheesy, cheaply-animated, assembly-line Japanese anime, so you probably wouldn't care for my tastes all that much.

I'd still watch a George Liquor show, though. Come to think of it, I've been looking forward to seeing a proper George Liquor cartoon since I first read about an early version of the character in an interview with you published in the Canadian newspaper-insert freebie magazine Saturday Night probably over a decade ago now. (I think it was George Liquor at least... the character that abused Ren & Stimpy in that banned episode I've never seen because the show has always been under-shown in Canada?)

Peggy said...

I find myself amazed to be agreeing with George Liquor for once! The last time I ate at McDonald's, I got this wave of suicidal urges passing over me when I was halfway through the burger. Really; something in it made me want to kill myself.

I've stayed away from their burgers ever since!

Danne8a said...

P.C. Unfunny said...
I can't stand this.Stupid shows like Bo-Bo....what ever the fuck ya call it,12 oz. mouse and Scarborough Country on the air and THIS ISN'T ???????????????????????????????????????


I agree totally and whole heartedly.
These GL ideas are fantastic and more original than all the other cartoon crap getting air time right now!!
It seems like the network execs and bigwigs in charge of programming are hell bent on airing the most uncreative, unentertaing crap on the planet.
Conspiracy?!?

Frankie said...

When I was a kid, I thought that fast food burgers were supposed to be big and juicy, then I looked at the difference between them, and the ones my dad makes! it's like a 4 inch difference.

Adult Swim really liked showing Booboo Goes Wild every sunday night for over 2 months, I think pitching the show to them would be a good bet!

Duck Dodgers said...

I want to know the end of that story!!!
Pleease!

Joel Bryan said...

We had this rumor in elementary school our burgers were 90% soybean and 10% beef. My friend Chuck pulled his bun off one afternoon and found this grey mulch on top of the patty and said, "That's the meat!"

Another time, the Dairy Queen Corp. made my dad's friend, a franchise owner, stop using 100% beef patties and switch to a meat/vegetable mix. Business dropped, so he begged the company to let him buy his patties from another source. "You can't do that!" they said. Business kept dropping everywhere. They switched back to beef.

These are great! I love how George's pov clashes with the modern world. A true man out of time!

Also... the Sody pic? Lord, a cartoon girl shouldn't put such crazy ideas in my head!

Ben said...

I will execute a hostage every hour until these are brought into the real world.

Anonymous said...

Why is it someone with a successful proven track record has such a difficult time having his cartoons produced?

You have great, funny ideas an established line of characters and a loyal fan base. More than I can say for pretty much anybody in the field.

So where's the problem?

Anonymous said...

More sexy Spumco chicks!

xtracrsP said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nicolas Martinez said...

Awesome stories, John. I can really relate to the fastfood one. I very much prefer homecooked burgers than the ones everywhere else.

chia said...

Hey John, does it all bug you that Adult Swim has started running promos that they're going to be airing Saved by the Bell later this month on their CARTOON Network when you have a wealth of animated goodness to offer the hungry masses of animation fans? It bugs me.

Nick Iannitti said...

In a world with a stark lack of quality cartoons, it's good to know there's still a man standing his ground out here, taking one for the team and proving that TRUE art and creativity can never die.

Well done, old chap.

David Germain said...

Did you know that McDonalds deep fries all the fries in 47 cubic pounds of lard?

Actually, I looked at the box at work and found I was wrong. It's actually 50 cubic pounds of lard. Or, in metric, 22.68 kilograms.

The more you know...........

Giulio said...

Please, make these cartoons!!!

Corey said...

These are great ideas, & I'd love to see them on TV ASAP. Every American knows a George Liquor, American.

Also I don't know if you noticed but you missed a couple spots of color on the first image you posted.

wILL cARSON said...

george liquor is a riot. my favorite fast food burger scene is still the one with micheal douglas in Falling Down. hysterical.
i'm so tired of talking hamster japanamation triangle cartoon crap. i'm constantly watching Spongebob for a psychotically good facial expression fix....BRING ON THE LIQUOR.....

Chris_Garrison said...

I want to see a design for this smooth talker who's hitting on Sody. Could he and Eddie Lugnuts be the same person, maybe?

jorge garrido said...

John, these stories are fucking hilarious! KEEP POSTING THESE!!

p.s. quit making fun of me

Diego said...

"Toilet seat
GL: “Leave the toilet seat up at her house. It reminds her who’s boss.”"

haha, I laughed my ass off with this!

cartooncrank said...

What I really like about these stories is that George is always a guy who is willing to "help out" when he can. As mentioned in a previous thread, George is a conservative, but he is also very "cuddly" in his own way. Great stuff and a great character! Who does George's voice? It always reminded me of Brian Doyle Murray.

Whiggles said...

>> Who does George's voice?

The one and only Michael Pataki.

ttrentham said...

If leaving a comment means I'll get to see these cartoons, then sign me up!

Jake said...

Outrageously funny! Great ideas!

Here in Europe (at least here in Norway) George Liquor and Ren & Stimpy seem to be practically unknown to the average person. The Ren & Stimpy-DVDs is only available in Region 1 (USA) coding. Yet, the ones who've actually heard about it seem to love it.

So, there's obviously a big latent market for you out there. The people just need to be informed...

Anne-arky said...

“Drive 80-miles-an-hour on the freeway blind drunk. She’ll know you’re a real man.”

Best line ever!

lyris said...

“Women are fags! Afterall, they like to see men naked don’t they?”

I almost choked laughing reading this and "The Dirty Atheist"!

These are the funniest ones you've ever posted.

Anonymous said...

What about Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter? He's got an I.Q. under twenty and is loaded. Better get him interested quick before something bites off both his brain cells.

Eebs said...

These stories are hilarious.

(Should I continue to post if I don't have anything useful to say?)

R2K said...

Too crazy :L)

New York Bathrooms

Anonymous said...

"...Adult Swim has started running promos that they're going to be airing Saved by the Bell later this month on their CARTOON Network..."

Either that's a joke or it will only last a week. But hey, how often do you get to see networks poke fun at their lineups?

Sketch said...

Wow, this sounds like an awesome show.

Jorge Garrido said...

>>> “Women are fags! Afterall, they like to see men naked don’t they?”

I almost choked laughing reading this and "The Dirty Atheist"!

George has lots of truly great lines in this post. Quotable for sure!

Jitterbug said...

Jimmy was also Spumco's mascot during the Ren and Stimpy days.

It drives me batty that we have so many lame cartoons on the air and we even have Spumco rip offs, but but no real spumco cartoons.

My Gym Partner's a Monkey is an ultra blatant rip off!

1. It uses the same exact sound effects for the same things that R&S used. The same ones!

2. It uses the same style music as R&S, I believe it uses the same music or something that sounds nearly the same.

3. It uses close up painted gross-out painting like R&S.

4. The jokes in the show are all based on gross out humor and weird for the stake of being weird style jokes, clearly trying to mimic R&S but it's not funny at all.

It's really crazy that this got green lighted yet we can't get a real Spumco cartoon on the air.

Lee-Roy said...

I think I'm in love, too.

Charlie J. said...

yes! More George Liquor!

The Butcher said...

Man, I love all those premises. Especially the last one. Science demon that cheats in arguments by using logic! Awesome.

The world needs George Liquor's backwards logic more than ever now. He is truely a dying breed.

I also love the idea that George considers cats insects. I can totally see Cigarettes sitting on Jimmy's sholder and George rolling up a news paper saying "Don't move, boy! You got a bug crawlin on ya!" Then relentlessly beat the ever-loving crap out of Cigarettes until he runs with his tail between his legs to Sody's house.

jorge garrido said...

Hey, everyone. This site lists Galaxy High School on its worst cartoons ever list:

http://www.platypuscomix.net/kidzone/horrible.html

John K did character designs for this show, I believe.

The educational theme for this one was, "DIVERSITY!" Like this place had a choice....this had some of the worst examples of minority groups ever. There was actually a classroom filled with nothing but students that were talking tomatoes. And get this--the lockers were ALIVE! "OW!! You slammed me because you're racist against our race, DIDN'T YOU?? RIOT TIME!!!"
Forget tolerance--I'd declare war in this case.
But that isn't the worst show of all time. The NEXT one is. We've come to the end, and now you have a choice: you can just forget about knowing of its existence, or you can click the link below and be scarred for life. I leave the choice in your hands. But be quick about it here. I don't have all day.

Desiree said...

EHEH!!!! I LOVE the Jimmy in Love story!!! I've seen some of your colored-in pictures of Jimmy with Sody and was always curious about what an episode of those 2 might be like. !SQUEEEE! :D ***
Uh Cigarettes is one of my fave characters too >x< Maow

ALso gotta agree with Evan: LOVE Jimmy's Camel T.

hmmmm....meeeat....

Eebs said...

Wow, Jorge. Just wow.

Heather_Chavez said...

awesome!

Lex10 said...

So John, I have to appeal to your sensibilities once again. You have hundreds of posts where folks are assuring you that they would pay for George Liquor and that thay miss the old Spumco flash. You seem cool & to let them see the Flash doesn't seem like it would preclude a purchase of a DVD or that it would be that big of a deal if they saw it. So I'll NOT put the link to those files here so you don't have to moderate them out. But I feel like you,re Mickey Mantle and you want $20 bucks for an autograph or something if you don't want to let your adoring fans see something you yourself are derisive about in comments elsewhere. It's cool it's over and either way to let them see it doesn't damage you - how 'bout it, champ? Hell, I'LL buy a DVD!! stephen69@gmail.com

Claude Peace said...

Hysterical. I can see something like this in the Adult Swim animation block on CN and doing very well.

Jen said...

Wow, you have talent. Great blog..keep it up!!

Jen
nubbit.com

akira said...

i read it in the news several years ago that fox bought the Goddam George Liquor Show... what happened with that whole deal?

do you have trouble selling your shows because people want the rights to your characters and you won't give them up, so that R and S doesn't happen again, or what?

i hope you figure a way to make more cartoons soon.. if we all buy the adult party R and S are you going to get enough money out of that to make more cartoons?

E. Adam Thomas said...

I find it apalling that [adult swim] won't jump on this show. They obviously like your stuff (They ran "Boo Boo Runs Wild" every week for a month straight), and it certainly sounds more entertaining than half the stuff they have right now.

Then again, they're apparently going to start rerunning "Saved By The Bell" in a couple weeks. I doubt very seriously they'll be messing with it, either. If they were to hire Trace Beleau and Joel Hodgeson to MSTie the show, it might almost be watchable... almost... and it would almost classify as animated if they brought the robot puppets in.Otherwise, I'm drop-jawed at the idea of this crap show being on Adult Swim when they're ignoring a potential winner like George Liquor!

Anonymous said...

"Saved By The Bell"?

WTF?!?

Maybe they were just kidding...

P.C. Unfunny said...

"Otherwise, I'm drop-jawed at the idea of this crap show being on Adult Swim when they're ignoring a potential winner like George Liquor!"

I am not really in awe.They show a bunch of shows no one watches,I know for a fact that most of anime they show get low ratings,they even say it themselves. I basically have given up on AS,they are completetly incompetent. They don't even know how to schedule show times,they really must there line-up out of a fish bowl every week.Seriously,you don't know what time anything is on Adult Swim. However,I do admit,I like "The Boondocks and " Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

kp said...

I love the lines George has. You could make a book out of his quotes! These stories have great commentary and humour. I especially love the idea of a 'science demon'.

Anonymous said...

Hey all you rich producers and TV executives! If you buy this show...

YOU WILL MAKE MONEY

TONS OF STINKIN' MONEY.

BUY THIS SHOW.

Your consumer,

Max Ward

verawanker said...

JUICY!! i want to see it..

Danne8a said...

Mr. K.
I have been a huge fan of yours since I was knee high to a grasshopper!
I had a question for you though...
I am a freelance 2D animator and was recently approached by a Festival to Amimate a 1 minute cartoon.
What does your company(or cartoon companies in general) charge for that?
Any rough Idea would greatly be appreciated!
One Million Thanks!!!

Scott said...

Why doesnt someone fund this?? you would think some fatcat would get it off the ground straight away after the success of ren and stimpy.Maybe John K should labour away on a 2 minute short pilot by himself, that is if it would that help get the George Liquor Program get funded.

Kevin said...

Not only does this cartoon need to be made ASAP, but Spumco should seriously have their own TV channel showing only quality cartoons and John's handpicked favorite cartoon classics. I would cream my pants, wouldnt you?

I think yes

Anonymous said...

damn i was psyched to see a new post today. was anybody else going through spumco withdrawl?

that was interesting that Billy West posted something a few days ago (if that was really him). But it sucks he got insulted and shutdown after making an appearence.

dude, he was stimpy. and doug.

Anonymous said...

hey i wanted to know who performed and wrote the "happy happy joy joy" song?

Anonymous said...

Hello John K,

What is the lastest with that Sody Pop figure? The prototype has been making the rounds at art galleries, but it isn't painted.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha! "Women are fags!" I've said that sometimes. Probably not a good thing.

S.G.A said...

SAVED BY THE BELL?????????????
what the hell?
When you think of the wealth of cartoons that exist that most people have never even seen, and they they are running a live action show!
Ok, maybe the acting on saved by the bell is 2 dimensional like a cartoon but jeesus??????
WTF????

S.G.A said...

dear mr. k.
Why don't you put one of those clutch cargo/ minoriteam style cartoons out that is drawn well with beautiful backrounds? It's a start,... people will love it and can get you some leway on CN.
Give us something !!!!!!!!!
Cut up some of those Spumco comic stories, and put em up on the net with limitted animation, and sound. thats something start a fire!!!!

trophiogrande said...

I love the "Dirty Atheist" story...can I use the term "Science Demons?"

Max Konrardy said...

i love em all. wow. i can almost picture them ... but i'd rather not have to ... they must be real. give john money!

C. A. M. Thompson said...

I'm pretty sure it's corporate overloads and not the guy who runs Adult Swim that are making Cartoon Network suck. It sounds like Adult Swim is basically being forced to show Saved By The Bell as an experiment and if it gets good ratings they're going to keep showing it. I hate that. And I hated Saved By The Bell when I was a kid and they replaced saturday morning cartoons with it. This live action shit on Cartoon Network has got to stop. Cartoon Network used to be one of my favorite channels with all the great classic cartoons they used to show and now they just pander to idiots.

I don't like going off topic so I should say something about George Liquor, I guess.

I wanna meet the people and George Liquor's neighborhood. You can kind of imagine from his name what a guy named Eddie Lugnuts would look like. Hope you post some drawings of them sometime. Great stories too!

-Chuck

Anonymous said...

Hey John K.

Did you ever see the ad for the R & S Lost Episodes DVD yet? and if so what do ya think?

Jesse

Mitch K said...

The Jimmy's in Love one is great! Everyone can relate to it!

Aslo, I really like how George knows everyone in town. Reminds me of my grandfather.

JohnK said...

>>Hey John K.

Did you ever see the ad for the R & S Lost Episodes DVD yet? and if so what do ya think?


No, but I'd sure like to. Did it look funny?

David Germain said...

It's really crazy that this got green lighted yet we can't get a real Spumco cartoon on the air.

Maybe it's because the guy in charge of the show is a little network bitch who follows orders, unlike John K. ;)

christopher said...

Thanks John for posting these, they are hilarious! I'm ready to hand over my money to any company that will produce this stuff. When is it going to happen?!

Eric C. said...

When's the DVD coming Out ?

Soon, I hope.

Anonymous said...

"They show a bunch of shows no one watches,I know for a fact that most of anime they show get low ratings,they even say it themselves."

Shame, really. They have some great anime, like Ghost in the Shell.

laina said...

I love it! That first story had me laughing out loud. (I also have to say that I love that I can comment to you here, since you had a rather strong impact on my childhood and all.. <3)

Anyway. Go lay the smackdown on some people. Get this stuff out there.

Anonymous said...

"Women are fags" is a provocative and hilarious comment leading me to think what would happen when a butch lesbian moves next to George and becomes his best pal: rooting for her alma mater [George's favorite college football team], drinking beer [PBR!], obsessively weeding and mowing her lawn, decrying godless commies, and watching the boxed set of her favorite TV show [Vic Morrow's COMBAT from the 60's] with George who is touched that someone remembers the REAL classics! Yes, how would George relate to my sister-in-law once he found out she was FEMALE...??!!

Citizen Drummond said...

If you're going to make ludicrous right-wing jokes, make ludicrous left-wing jokes, too.

Anonymous said...

Why not show this George Liquor shit to George Clooney? After all, that hip bastard got "South Park" the deal that put it on the map. You'd have to do a real asskissing drawing of him, though, and delete all the ones on here where he looks like his stubbled, waxy asshole is wolfing down a sausage.

Hryma said...

Hello

Anonymous said...

hehehe... my old high school had burgers even worse than McD's. What they'd do is boil, yes BOIL, a tube of meat, and then slice it and slap those on a bun. You'd end up with these perfectly flavorless, perfectly gray, perfectly cylindrical discs of what once was beef.

Anonymous said...

McD's is boiling a potload of steer tubesteaks right now. They're stuffing each one with special sauce, which they plan to test market on Castro Street. You bite down on one and it squirts! Ronald McDonald is the spiritual offspring of Peter Allen, except for the rectal itch.