Monday, December 04, 2006

Mike Fontanelli Can Get Away With Murder

I only know of one curmudgeon who's even more intolerant of modern culture than me and that's dear old Mike Fontanelli.

Somehow he can get away with saying things that I'd get lynched for and I have a theory of why.

Because he has highlights on his butt cheeks.

Mike gets young girls over to his curmudgeon pad and starts right in on them. First, he insults their favorite rappers and he gets this.Then he makes fun of their collection of lumpy toys.

They don't even take him seriously! "Aw Mikey, you're so cute when you hate our 90s nostalgic memories! Let's kiss you everywhere!"Then he shows off his own hard shiny plastic gee-gaws and tells them "Real girls like hard things, not floppy things with buckled seams!"So what do they do? They start in to stroking his popping veins thinking that might calm him down.

So that's the secret, fellas! You want some lovin' and the right to complain about hip-hop, flat cartoons and lumpy toys?

Get your butt cheeks polished! (it doesn't hurt to have perfect fingernails either.)
"Ha ha!" says Mike.

All the girls left in this condition.

23 comments:

Ryan G. said...

I love the butt wings on the girls..

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with RYAN, The wing-ed butt cheeks are a nice touch!
NY hat????? hmmmmmm.

xtracrsP said...

Nice to see that Marlo hasn't gone all Hollywood on us, and has kept a full 'head' of ginger bush.
I'm not a deviant...

dieselcreek said...

ditto on the ass-wings

queefy said...

roflcopter

PCUnfunny said...

You're a regular riot John.

Anonymous said...

You could reflect a laser beam off those things!

Jorge Garrido said...

Great drawing! So what are Mike's favourite rappers and video games?

Anonymous said...

John, you and Mike both have houses worthy of being museums! I hope one day my collection is even a fraction as impressive as your homes.

Freckled Derelict said...

Shiny butts are always appreciated.
Amazing toy collection.

Art F. said...

shiny butt, cheek wings, bush and boobs! that drawing has all of my favorite things. god! what a masterpiece! GREAT work Kali & Marlo! Mike is one lucky dude.

Anonymous said...

Wow, John... this might be the single most useful post in the entire blog! Life changing!

Shitbitch said...

You know who else likes to rant about society in a hilarious manner? Little Jimmy Norton!

allamort said...

Awesome. And his upper cheeks are no less shiny! Is that Little Audrey in a HOUNDSTOOTH dress at the bottom? What fun!

Vanoni! said...

And all I could do was shake my head.

Max Ward said...

Mike Fontanelli is the best.

Shawn said...

Only a daily buffing can bring out that shine!

Sean Worsham said...

Nice Color and Ass Cheeks.

mike f. said...

[Only a daily buffing can bring out that shine!]

Shucks, t'weren't nuthin'.

Marlo Meekins said...

mike's so cute

The GagaMan(n) said...

Them's some suspiciously shaped "hard" toys, right there.

ZEE said...

That's what I love about this blog; lessons in animation... lessons in LIFE.

And I loves me some cartoon goddessry and well-glazed hams to boot.