Sunday, June 22, 2008

Aliens are lIke Funny Animals

They all crave human women! And who can blame them?
Red Hot Riding Hood




Of the course, if the history channel had anything to do with it, they'd claim that aliens really crave men. (Anybody watched that channel lately and noticed a change?)

But we know the truth.
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Better hide your harem during the next invasions from fuzzy animals or monsters from space!

41 comments:

Subject #645-3 said...

The weird thing about all those vintage alien comics is the title: those books are either "stories", "novels",
"fantasies", etc. But other than that, aliens have good tastes if most of the women on those covers look like Marilyn Monroe clones.

Great post, John!

trevor said...

Actually, according to the History Channel, they crave both sexes and all races.

I love the fact that History has basically taken the stance "Enough bullshit, these things are real, now let's try to find out more".

Very brave. Clearly, their funding doesn't come from any governmental agencies.

But what's too bad, as far as art is concerned, is that now that so many people have had encounters with extra terrestrials and taken photos or drawn pictures from memory, no one wants to design an alien from scratch using pure imagination.

Every alien character that gets designed now HAS to look white, skinny, short and naked with a big head and giant black almond shaped eyes... or some variation on that design.

It was better when we had absolutely no frame of reference and had only our imagination to guide us which lead to, as you pointed out John, some very interesting results.

These days in entertainment, there's something about having to take the fantastic and make it realistic that I don't understand. I may get flogged for this, but I LOVED the Speed Racer movie ( not too fond of the cartoon, though ) and part of the reason is it reminded me of a time when movies weren't afraid to create a world unto itself which had only a few rememberances of 'reality'.

Now, though, we can't have a superhero movie that takes place in a weird unearthly place like Gotham City without it looking exactly like New York. Iron Man was good, but not great because they had to set it in the real world ( read: dumb it down ) whereas Speed Racer existed solely in the world created in the cartoon.

The same is true of modern alien designs. We can create a new alien character, but he better not look like Giger's alien because we 'know' aliens don't look like that in reality.

Rubbish. What the fuck ever happened to suspension of disbelief?

- trevor.

Kali Fontecchio said...

The more teeth something has, the funnier.

Zack said...

hahaha
very simple
very true

Mitch L said...

LOL horny aliens.

What are some real differences between aliens and monsters?

CHRIS LOPEZ said...

"no one wants to design an alien from scratch using pure imagination."?

Jim Smith knows how to draw aliens.

Alex said...

History Channel: where the past comes alive. With Aliens!

Tonight their having two hour program explaining how Alf built the pyramids.

Emmett said...

Mr. K,

I recently tried to draw a couple of alien-type creatures, out of my head. They didn't quite work. Looking at these alien designs, do you have advice on how to design them? I know this is about aliens craving women, but I really would love to know from a design standpoint.

Rodrigo said...

lol

Jorge Garrido said...

At last! HUMAN women!

Vincent Waller said...

According to that bible thing, even the angels craved to soft a supple forms of human women.

Dan Jackson said...

Well, maybe. Unless, of course, those aliens are designed by H.R. Giger.

http://www.suicide.couk.com/gallery/giger/giger.htm

Bwanasonic said...

Man I love twisted pulp covers! Esp. those by Margaret Brundage. The perfect antidote to accidental exposure to bad Cartoon Network cartoons (Chowder - shudder).

Pete Emslie said...

Kali said: "The more teeth something has, the funnier."

In that case I'll bet Kali finds the Osmonds hilarious....

Cartoonists have always known that space aliens go gaga over earth babes. Ward Kimball depicted this interplanetary lust quite well in Disney's "Mars and Beyond". (John, you should post up that clip - it's on YouTube as"Mars and Beyond 2 of 6")

Hryma said...

I love getting my fix of great Sci-Fi pulp covers, nice!

Subject #645-3 said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Zim_scream.jpg

This is Zim, an "animated" alien from the TV show "Invader Zim", which I admittably like, and yet: comparing this to these aliens on your post and even GIGER'S alien...blegh.

Adele K Thomas said...

why the aboriginal tribal women photo? Im from Australia and dont get the reference...

The Butcher said...

The Japanese to this day seem to know very well that monsters crave human women. They also know that "no" secretly means "yes".

C. A. M. Thompson said...

Great alien monsters!

So there's gay aliens on the History Channel now? All aliens are dudes, anyway, right? Maybe I need to get cable to reveal these mysteries.

Taber said...

John did you get these out of a small blocky book? I recently saw a book that I think had all of these and about a hundred more vintage covers and movie posters from the prime of sci-fi.

Timefishblue said...

I love the red ones with huge foreheads, and the manta ray thing. No wonder they aren't satisfied with females of their own species.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Space aliens prefer earth women and ! don't blame them. No creature in its right mind would go to all the trouble of conqering us if their only reward was to make it with Ernest Borgnine.

Bitter Animator said...

I have no idea what's going on the History channel. I've never watched it. Do they worship men? Or think that the worship of men is what history has been all about?

I was kind of hoping there would be boobies in this thread. It was a real 'be careful what you wish for' moment.

But feel free to post more boobies in the future.

jack & frank said...

hahaha, wow that captain future cover is really funny. what has hilarious alien thing.

that 'man of tomorrow' must really be used to seeing weird lookin blob guys - that alien has no effect on him at all! even his gun doesn't seem to bother shooting it properly (though right at the eyeball too)

James said...

First of all john, nice post. I have always enjoyed old b-movies. They're supposed to be serious, except the quality is always so bad that you can't help but laugh.

Second of all, I was reading about this animation book called "Character Animation Crash Course" by Eric Goldberg. I've seen this guys stuff, and it seems like he know what he's doing.

The book gives examples (from old cartoons) and shows us exerything, like how to draw it, what the x-sheet will look like, etc. Does it seem like it's worth it?

Kristy Gordon said...

haha that's awesome!

perspex said...

all those aliens they want to do to us is "hug them and pet them and name them George"...

Mitch K said...

Totally cool covers!

jhbmw007 said...

Did you do this post because there's a new X-files movie coming out? (yes, there is)

John A said...

Those were the glory days for illustrators. These covers all seem to be screaming "PICK UP THE GODDAMNED MAGAZINE! PICK IT UP GODDAMMIT! CHICKS! ALIENS! WHAT DON'T YOU GET? BUY IT NOW!"

Sven Hoek said...

Yeah Kali, lots of teeth, and the more crooked they are the funnier. That's why the British crack me up so much.

Adam T said...

I think NASA should design their next batch of space suits to show off the female astronauts' shapely legs. The current ones make them look frumpy. Then they wouldn't have such a hard time obtaining federal funding. These covers have the right idea.

Sean Worsham said...

I Too loved the Speed Racer movie and got flogged majorly by my peers who never even saw the flick. The funny thing is most people I know that DID see it loved it immensly and wondered why the critics hated it so much. I guess people are afraid of anything imaginative nowadays. Screw Realism.

PCUnfunny said...

Trevour: I agree on the lack of orginality of today's creatures from space. Every single modern alien desugn looks like a watered down "Close Encounters of The Third Kind".

Jim Rockford said...

I love the imaginative way aliens and outer space were depicted in the 40's and 50's.
Those are such wild,bizzare and breathtakingly futuristic depictions! I wish those guys would have made some space cartoons or movies!
its really astounding to see how creative we were before everyone got lazy and decided to glue ridges on an actors forehead and call them a klingon,and make robots look like humans with all the cyborg crap.
Such a glaring lack of imagination.

Now we're too lazy to even think up a futuristic looking robot like Robby in Forbidden Planet and all of the outer space movies made now feature dark hellish planets,and crappy grimy bolt ridden spaceships and humanoid aliens or cliched hell monsters.

Cartoons have it all over live action when it comes to sci-fi and outerspace subjects,with this format the only limitations are the artists imagination!

Somewhere I have an old sci-fi magazine like that that shows a group of one eyed aliens with cone shaped heads and speaker grille type mouths sitting around a lake of fire with glowing sphere floating in it!


Thanks for posting these John!

David Germain said...

I was kind of hoping there would be boobies in this thread.

Currently, I'm getting paid about $650 a week to draw boobies (and other parts).

Those are some great and sexy posters of aliens. By the way, did you ever notice that while male aliens crave Earth women, female aliens are usually distrustful or even disdainful of Earth men (though some come around after a smooch or two). Just something I noticed.

trevor said...

Someone needs to stop Eric Goldberg. He's ass-backwards.

He's trying to make a CG sequel to Roger Rabbit, but he's setting it in the 30's, like an idiot.

- trevor.

PCUnfunny said...

Trevor: Where did you here this CGI Roger Rabbit from ?

sonya said...

Hi, John
Sorry as I might be wasting your time, but I really find your blog interesting and useful.
I'm an animator from Russia and I work on clay and 2d animation at a studio called "Pilot". I was just wondering, if you would mind if I translate some of your posts and repost them in my blog at son4apon4a.livejournal.com, as I find your stuff real inspiring, and it's real bad that russian animators don't speak english...
anyway, i'm the greatest fan of the ren and stimpy show, they are pretty popular out here in Russia.
So thanks anyway, sorry for bothering you
Sonya

trevor said...

PC:

I don't think the clip of the Roger tests are still up online, but Eric's been trying for a sequel for a while. He claimed to have tried animation tests which he said 'didn't work' and decided 3d was the way to go.

Look it up on Google. You'll see it.

- trevor.

John Will Balsley said...

All those illustrations are a Billion times better than all that CGI crap that's being done in Holly Wood, every movie looks like a gadddamn video game these days!!