Saturday, October 04, 2008

Don't Be Fooled - These Are Not Of Us

They may look innocent, but beware. These swollen creatures have come from another planet to mate with our precious women. They need to repopulate their own aging world where the air is so thin that their natural females keep floating up into the atmosphere and exploding.
They wrap their reproductive apparatus around our heads, suck out our brains and impregnate them. They can't always tell the difference between our women and male members of the democratic party - which just might save us.A budding romance begins. Notice that when not in rut, their reproductive apparati hang upside down in a bland non-threatening position under their chins.
Once the vulgar unit engorges with alien hormones though, no decent earth women can defend her purity.

The hideous result - a human/balloon-creature hybrid is conceived.


Here a Balloon Cretin clutches the first brain baby produced by the combination of their own unstable gaseous seed and the heavy sturdier eggs of our inner boned females.

A U.S. intelligence officer has apprehended one of the fiends and is escorting him to the vivisection chamber - a highly pressurised laboratory at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.



As part of the experiment, our agent stimulates the creatures, causing them to assume their ungodly copulatory positions. His brain has been lathered with a special contraceptive emulsive made from bacon grease and Knox Gelatin to protect him from the vile purpose of these lewd scoundrels.

The most brilliant biologists on earth are even now groping the monstrous organs in order to find a way to foil the gruesome invaders.

To be continued...
P.S. Lock your women up while there is still time...

29 comments:

Rodrigo said...

Dear sweet mother of god & the Jeffersons . . .

Ardy said...

Don't worry I already had my women locked up.

Wes Riojas said...

Holy Hell that was funny!! I was rolling in laughter!

oppo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JhEnglish said...

Lol i`m not watching any more Looney Tunes with my girlfriend any more...

nice Balloons btw:D

William Bigger

William Bigger, Bowdoinham, Maine 4008 - SSN, Credit Records, Arrest Records, Court Records, Criminal Records ..

Tim said...

You are on a roll.

Deniseletter said...

That's a very creative story!XD!
I'm surprised of what is possible to be done with balloons.

Kali Fontecchio said...

No more birthday parties and nature shows for you!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

HawHawHawHawHaw!!!!

SoleilSmile said...

Xena, Storm, Leetah, Akane and any one of my female characters would've made those aliens, "very small males", with a word or well placed kick with a Jimmy Choo. And then finish the job with a soldering iron:)

-San Francisco Feminist MuuhuhuhuuhuhuaahhahaHA!

J.R. Spumkin said...

Now I know where babies come from!

JK, this is hilarious! I always knew those bastards were planning something with their "living balloons". Tube-like commies.

HemlockMan said...

Take my wife...

Please.

Gabriele_Gabba said...

How can any woman resist?

Education!

With a solid understanding of how they easily fall prey to such alien attacks it should naturally follow that we equip all our women with safety pins and curious 3 year olds!

Let the popping commence.

trevor said...

These blow my mind, especially that fetus!

- trevor.

grantbond said...

Hey, that's Spongebob Sausagepants!

vicki said...

i..
*sigh*
speechless.
you amaze me with your comedic brilliance and crude vulgarity. keep being a role model please.

Emily said...

all of this keeps making me think of ub iwerks's 1935 balloon land!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKp7akCjiF4

maybe we need to hire that pin cushion man.

kris.w said...

LOL!!

hideous result - human/balloon-creature hybrid

lol..

craigp said...

whatever the opposite of 'wholesome' is, this is it.

(is it me or does the pin cushion man have a giant pin johnson?)

Barbara said...

dude what are you smoking

lastangelman said...

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck! Balloon aliens! Where's my Aunt Matilda's hairpin?

Watch out for the secret alien balloonies
Or they will assimilate all of us goonies
they assume the identities of our favorite cartoonies
and mate with our wimmen under the flashlight of a dozen Moonies
report suspicious activities to the government soon - EEEEEEEE!
Oh my gawd! Their offspring are overrunning Altoon - EEEEEEEE!

roberto la forgia said...

ehehehe

The Butcher said...

You should do a cartoon skit where all your characters are weird ballon aliens.

Taco Wiz said...

Awesome! But Spongebob ain't bland. Well...the art is, but not the writing. Unlike Tiny Toons, where both are completely bland. Although seasons 4+ of Spongebob have bland writing, seasons 1-3 are awesome. Anyway, this post is HILARIOUS! I really want to have that unborn fetus balloon. Do you know where I can buy one?

"They wrap their reproductive apparatus around our heads, suck out our brains and impregnate them."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If only you did more funny stuff like this, and less animation reviews. You're a cartoonist/comedian, not Roger Ebert.

Phantom Spitter said...

Human/balloon hybrids?! My God!!Looks like World War III all over again!

Paul B said...

Hey John, I know is off the topic but what do you think about Topo Gigio?

I Know that its extremely cute but I think is a really good puppet and it moves really well.

Jake the Animator said...

hey John
This past weekend i was visiting my parents in Philadelphia and we visited a newish museum SOLELY about the THREE STOOGES. I know you're a fan, so I thought I'd let you know.

http://www.stoogeum.com/

Sven Hoek said...

Listen chowder-brains, the girls are in trouble. "Right Moe, what are we gonna do"? We gotta save 'em see, and fast.

"Hey Moe, I got one, I got one"!

Nice work Porcupine, now let 'em have it.

For duty and humanity!

vicki said...

i was just reminded of this gem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwKJuxW-AZY

narration at it's best.