Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Cartoons and Chainsaws 1

What are cartoons for? Well I was raised to believe they were funny drawings designed to make you laugh. Of course, I now know I'm completely wrong. Lots of folks have corrected me. They say, "Well John, that's not all cartoons can do...Open your mind to the infinite possibilities!"

So I'm convinced. But I think we should apply that reasoning to all inventions just to be fair.Like, what is the chainsaw designed to do best?
I bet you think it's to cut down trees.
Pshaw. Piffle. Poo Poo on that. How shallow.
Of course they do that very well and better than anything else, but is that ALL we should be doing with them?? The mere fact that it does that better than other inventions is exactly the reason not to do it! This is 21st century thinking now.
No, surely there are other things to do with wood cutting tools.

You don't want to limit the creativity of wood cutters by just having them saw wood. In fact, we should eliminate that purpose altogether. You can think of some things chainsaws aren't really designed for can't you? We are all equally creative now after all.I know! This is something they really aren't good at! Chainsaws, like cartoons could raise your kids right (since parents and church can't) and teach them moral values that the people who run the businesses don't have.

You can also use chainsaws to explore the depth of emotion in little children.
How many animated cartoons have dead Moms in them? The theory is if you make cartoons that make kids cry, that is a much higher purpose than making kids laugh. Killing Moms in cartoons is a very effective and highbrow way to make kids cry. I suppose these animated producers beat their kids regularly, knowing how much they all enjoy crying. I wonder if they also charge them 10 bucks for it?

So now chainsaws are not meant to cut wood, because that would be a low and foul misuse of what the chainsaw was invented for. It's cheating to use a tool just to do what it does really well.
Moral of the story: Chainsaws should be good for you and never do what they do best, just like cartoons.

I have more of these analogies, should you want to see them