Saturday, December 19, 2009

Heartaches Pilot 1 Storyboard: The Curly Fuzz Poodle 1

Mom, V.O." Look at this room! It's a disgrace!""Not only is it a mess, but she's got it cluttered with all these stinky, dusty old toys!"
"Holy Cripes! What the Hell is THIS goddawful thing?!! I think I'm gonna wretch! Gawd!"
"This is all your fault, Father! You encourage her! Are you ever gonna let her grow up?"
"Gimme this crappy thing! My Lord! It looks like some kinda cartoon cancer! I'm gonna do Roxy a favor and throw it in the trash!"
Dad: "You can't do that! That's her favorite doll ever! It's the Curly Fuzz Poodle from her favorite old-school cartoon show, the 'Funny Fuzzy Bunch'!"
"Old-school, my butt! Lookit this garbage, it's coming apart at the seams! It's disgusting!"
"Here take a whiff at your old school guts! Smells like those crusty tie-dye t shirts of yours you refuse to throw away! What do you two have against clean shiny new things? When are you gonna live in the modern world with the rest of us?"

"I bought her some great toys, anyway! Everyone else loves them! they're completely trendy! Now what did she do with all those? Aha!!"
"Here! Now these are beautiful! Look how smooth and floppy they are! Every normal decent girl in the world loves these! "
But, no, not Roxy! She's gotta play with 50 year old trash that's covered in dirt and cat pee!"


Dad: "Listen Dear, all I know is you better leave her toys alone. Especially that one! She loves it to death! Maybe it's dusty and stinky, but it has SOUL!"

Mom freaks out: "'Soul!!!' I've had it with 'soul!' I wanna see CLEAN! and NEW! and serious!"

"This is all your fault! You let that child get away with anything she wants! I wanna raise her to have some motivation and self respect! She could be somebody! Like me! But no, you gotta let her waste her time living in a dream world! Playing with toys, watching violent cartoons, listening to crazy rock music! Wallowing in dust! Aaaaaarghhhhh! I think I'm gonna explode spew my guts all over you! You...you...you mangy dirty ancient hippie delinquent father you!"
Dad leads her out the door" Now, now Honey, you gotta calm down. let me get your anxiety pills. Roxy's a good girl. She just isn't the serious type...."
Mom: "Grrr...mutter, mutter...grouse...."

Part 2: The Gift Of Rust

READ THE REST OF THE HEART WARMING STORY HERE

40 comments:

Austin Papageorge said...

Is the father a huge hairball?

Kali Fontecchio said...

His name should be Bum Dad!

Austin Papageorge said...

Since the dad is obviously a hippie, does this mean that hippies are more in touch with cartoons?

Racattack Force said...

A New Age Retro Hippie father I see...that's covered from head to toe in hair.

Mr. Tat said...

Keeping a pile of old stuffed animals in her room. What a cute habit.

She should have a crossover with George Liquor about 'discipline' sometime. The results should be explosive. :D

RooniMan said...

God, that mother is PURE EVIL!!

Niki said...

I understand his feelings, women who would cut you are kinda hot. I would take his risk and go near one though.

MASON SHELBY said...

Psycho mom is kinda hot!

Nicolas Martinez said...

What the dad ever saw in her wife is beyond me.

Klashka said...

GREAT! I Hearaches board! Lemme ink one! Oh please! Oh PlEASE-ohpleeeeze?

Klashka said...

By the way, my mom cured my messy room habit by chronically coming in and throwing away everything that was on the floor(even the expensive toys and everything) while I sobbed in shock and protest. Her logic: if it's on the floor it treated as trash.
Since then, I keep a clean floor---and hide everything in my messy bed instead!

Shawn Dickinson said...

haha! This is great!

Let's see some angry camel toes.

Mykal said...

John: I had a girlfriend once who had a cat that would wait until you were looking before he'd pee on your personal belongings. I hated that cat (his name was Red) and he hated me. He sooo looked like your cat here, right down to that arrogant walk away from the scene of the crime. Wonderful memories. Thanks ;-) -- Mykal

FriedMilk said...

What a terrific ranting witch.

C. A. M. Thompson said...

You should do a cartoon about how hippie dad and psycho mom met.

Felix Petruška said...

Psycho Mom is David Bowie.

Trevor Thompson said...

Does Mom actually love her family? A little too much, perhaps. She'd be an interesting adversary for Kaspar, no?

That cat design is gorgeous.

Paul B said...

I LOVE THIS STUFF!!!

great caricatures of toys in the first pic.

SoleilSmile said...

Much better. Thank you:)

Hannad said...

You don't know how much I would love to see this animated.

patrick sevc said...

I love your cartoony tirades!!!

HemlockMan said...

You know what's neat? The fact that John K. sometimes works on regular lined notebook paper.

Paul B said...

mom's face is based on Meg Ryan?

Lily H. said...

Do you ever draw things anymore that aren't thinly veiled rants against things you dislike?

craigp said...

What kinds of exercises would you recommend for storyboarding?

JohnK said...

I'm not sure what you mean, Lily. I'm kinda on the hippie's side in this story and I think Hippies ruined the world.

Fata Morgana said...

OMG, hairy hippy dad is hilarious. I NEED to see an animated cartoon with that character in it.

You do seem to be a bit overly mean with the boney-assed soccer mom, though. Poor moms, no one loves them in this day and age. I guess that's the natural fallout from 'helicopter parenting.'

sharprm said...

Has Johnk's company ever made flash games? I think playing george liquor with the chainsaw would be fun.

O gato said...

That's how my mother and father were when they lived together, and I had to live with my mom when she got divorced and the worst part is that she is exactly like this woman!

SoleilSmile said...

Um, John...goofed and posted under the wrong topic again. Could delete the "guy design" comment from this topic?

Timothy Merks said...

man you're totally capturing the tension. It's dam scary. I really want to see this animated.

Ray said...

Love the way you draw cats John. They're so dirty looking, and scrawny.

Michael said...

I wanna start out at the bottom. I'll be the guy who takes the lines off the line paper!

Lily H. said...

I'm more talking about how blatantly you rail against new toy designs and how you fault "modern" parents for perpetuating them. That's less entertaining or insightful and more bitter/dull.

I'm not saying I enjoy new toy designs either, but these lined paper stories are terrible. Also, are beanie babies even still relevant nowadays?

JohnK said...

Whoa! Harsh!

I'm sure you're right about the Beanie Babies. Is there a modern toy that is its equivalent? I'll be happy to change that part.

I'm not faulting modern parents in general, just this particular Mom who wants to control her kids' life. It's something many can identify with.

It's more about the kid and her favorite toy. The Mom and Dad are just the setup.

But if you don't like the stories anyway, that's ok.

You can't please everybody!

Lily H. said...

I don't keep up with modern toys so much, but all I ever see little girls play with are plastic "fashion" dolls (Bratz, My Scene, they totally have Twilight dolls now) or those fucking "Zhu Zhu Pets" (fuzzy lumps that are supposed to be hamsters on wheels).

I can understand the overbearing mom thing you're going for but the way you portray it is completely hateful. Rather than being funny it's just sort of cringe-worthy, I dunno. Other people seem to enjoy this sort of thing so maybe I'm probably not your target audience here.

It'd sure be a lot easier to read them if they were on un-lined paper, you know? I know they're just storyboards but when I see the lined paper my eyes just glaze over the whole thing.

Frank Santoro said...

Love the cat pee bit.

doyle said...

You cat pees everybody.

Zoran Taylor said...

@Lily H. - Of course this seems like John railing against toy companies - TO US. We've been reading this blog all this time. But that doesn't make the situation or the dialogue in this scene any less relevant to the real lives of a lot of kids, or even a lot of people in general. It's a common gripe of parents that their kids don't take things seriously enough or that they aren't maturing fast enough. Parents WORRY about these things, and sometimes that fear manifests itself as anger. I love, respect and admire my parents more than anything in the whole world, but it's no exaggeration to say that my Mom has occasionally acted EXACTLY like this.

Also, you can rest assured that John isn't taking anything out on his own Mom here. Don't take my word for it, though.

Warren Fleece said...

Good god I hurt myself laughing at the cat pee sequence.