Thursday, December 03, 2009

Slab's First Fist 1

It started like any other fine morn, except for one thing.
Little Slab's fist was throbbing and aching like it was on fire.

"Hey Ern'!" he yelled to his brother on the upper bunk.

"Yeah Slab'?"
"Dude you woke me up with all your throbbing down there. What's goin' on?"
"I dunno Ern, my fist is aching and pounding! That's never happened before!"
"Wow! Hey Slab! That's your first burning fist! That means you've reached pooberty!"
"It hurts Ern'! Make it stop!"
Ernie: "It's not gonna stop on its own Slab. There's only one cure for a throbbing fist!"
Slab: "Ow! lick lick lick, Ow, Ow! Help me, Ern! Help me!"
Ernie leaps off the bunk.
"Slab! I know exactly what you need!"
"Yeah, suck it up Slab! Be proud of your aching fist! There's a purpose for it! It's all part of God's plan!"
"What you need kid, is a nice fat soft sissy to sink that thing into!"
Slab: "Where do we get one of those Ern'?"
"I know where there's one!"
"C'mon kid! We'll take the sting outta your thing!"
Ernie: "YES!"
Slab: "What's that, Ern?"

"That's a nerd, Slab! A real fat one! See its freckles? Check out his Char Wars collectibles! What a fruitcake!"
Slab: "Hey I've never seen one of those before! He's funny! What's he for?"
Ernie: "He's God's gift to your fist!"
Ernie" Hey, Bobby Bigloaf! We caught ya!"

Ernie: "Whatcha doin' there fat boy?"
Bobby: "I'm stirring up crap on the blogosphere! I'm arguing toons with other toon fans! I even get to threaten them with physical harm 'n' stuff!"
Ernie:"It's easy to be tough inside your room with Mommy home isn't it, Bobby Bigloaf!"
Bobby: "You bet! Hey...what's that thing on the end of Slab's arm?"

To be continued...

33 comments:

Lucky said...

I'm loving where this is going
nice furry poster in the background haha

Guy said...

Genius.

Peggy said...

Oh, sorry. Slab, not Ernie. I get 'em mixed up.

Peggy said...

…Is this a metaphor for something? Nah. Couldn't be. Ernie's just aching to sink his huge, red, engorged throbbing fist into a weaker man, there's no undercurrent here at all...

CJ said...

This is really hilarious. I like the intelligent humor you used. It always seems to be a common trend to want to punch the crap out of each other once you hit puberty, but the way you portrayed this was well played my good Sir.

I was wondering when I was going to see the porkster again.

Brian Godinez said...

Lovin' this!

I bet Bobby Bigloaf is into dialogue-heavy animated sitcoms with pop culture jokes that are going to age like fine wine.

Chris said...

Nice, sneaking in that calendar back there! I don't know how you come up with these concepts but I'm glad we get to see them.

Sean Volpicella said...

That's a hilarious portrayal of what happens when a bully reaches puberty. I honestly never could have thought this up if I tried. Well done.

Dan said...

The Furry calendar in the background is genius!

Mykal said...

John: Love it big time. -- Mykal

eusouofi said...

hello, there
I´m a big R&S fan

could I link your blog?
mine is:
http://falafi.blogspot.com

It´d be nice if you pass by to see my dumb cartoons, by the way

cheers from Brasil

R&S rocks!!

Elana Pritchard said...

the internet is depressing

Caleb said...

This is hilarious. Is that a furry calender on Bobby Bigloaf's wall?

RooniMan said...

So begins the start of a new cartoon story!

RooniMan said...

And so begins the start of a great new cartoon story! Can't wait to see more!

Khato said...

Haha, this is great. I like the setup you have here - it's smooth, almost natural but still with some strange awkwardness about it. And I also like the updated characterisation for the nerd (as in, the little extra bits people don't usually think to add cause they're too new) - really stands out for me. I wasn't sure whether I liked this one or not at the start, but it's grown on me.

I can't wait to see what twist happens next. I hope it's a huge subversion of the expected outcome!

AtomicTiki said...

Thousands of us dorks with keyboards vs JohnK and a pencil, we're still out gunned! You win this round Kricfalusi!

I can imagine this being a cartoon anyone could get a kick out of (well, anyone except censors and whiny, insecure nerds).

I salute you!

mike f. said...

Heh heh. I like where this is going...

Shawn Dickinson said...

Words escape me. This is hilarious!

Niki said...

I gave Ernie a redneck voice for some odd reason. This is bad, only cause I'm Bobby.

Mitch K said...

Haha Brilliant. I'd love to see this one done.

patrick sevc said...

I like how Ernie carries Slab.
This is gonna be good...

Kelly Toon said...

I read this out loud to my husband (and did voices) and I could hardly continue at times. You so crazy. It has me sincerely wondering if this actually occurs at pooberty :S Ernie licking his fit is a riot.

The furry is PERFECT. When will someone make a website called Toon Tirade? Time will tell.

Trevor Thompson said...

John, that furry drawing is all wrong. Can't you draw ANYTHING unappealing?

nktoons said...

Ha! This one is my fave, John. Some of the facial expressions are hilarious!

Bruce said...

Hi John.

Here's the link link for my attempt at tighten your Kaspar storyboard doodles.

Have a good one.

From an aspiring animator/ cartoonist

Sean Worsham said...

You answered my prayers John, (lol)!

chrisallison said...

haha, i really like the double entendre here. you really play it straight and if you don't go flagrantly over the line, it hugs that golden edge that looney tunes did where it'll be enjoyable for kids AND adults at the same time. dunno if this is something conscious you think about.

i'd love to hear your theory on creating material for KIDS and ADULTS. straight humor is some of the hardest stuff to do

Kuzey said...

haha...that is too funny, you should be locked up :)

Super stuff!!

Jizz Wad said...

Hahhaaahaaaa!

O gato said...

I want to see this animated! I can just imagine the kid's fist being red and pulsating!

macumba said...

I want to see Slab's throbbing fist melt through Bigloaf like a hot spoon scooping up lard on a cold day.

Vincent Waller said...

LOL. Those are some beeeeautiful draweringsk.