Thursday, February 18, 2010

Floyd Is The Funniest Barber Alive

After a long day of proving to Stimpy that life is full of misery, Stimpy has had enough of reality. Ren is on him like a blood-starved leech.Stimpy steels himself to talk back to the bug-eyed polyp that is Ren.
"Ok, maybe life DOES suck outside the window, but at least here on my TVland box everything is happy! I'm gonna sit down and watch my favorite program, Floyd of Mayberry!"

Stimpy plops himself down in front of his happy box to watch his show. Every time Floyd mumbles anything or snips another lock of Andy's hair, he giggles and guffaws, rocking back and forth holding his tickly toes. Floyd makes him forget the ugly realities of life. The joy of Floyd wipes his befouled brain clean.Ren waits for the program to end, so he can torment his best friend again. "You believe all that crap, Steempy? Dere's no place like Mayberry. Dat's all seely make-believe poopoo stuffs!"
During the commercial, Ren tries to lecture Stimpy and points his finger at him. Stimpy eats.
CRUNCH!!! "Take that, Ren! How do you like when life sucks?"
After the show is finished, Stimpy turns off the set and wipes his teary eyes from laughing so hard. He gets up and tells Ren, "I don't care if some of life does suck! At least the world has Floyd!!"

Ren approaches Stimpy slowly, with pity in his eyes. He grasps a couple fist fulls of cat fur and leans towards him...

"You poor leetle seelly idiot. Don't you know that Floyd's...
...DEAD!!!!"
Stimpy clutches his one rapidly pulsing nerve ending.
"No! No! No! You're lying! Liar Liar!!" says Stimpy! Ren tells him. "Eediot! Dun't you know what reruns are??! Dees show is from 1962!""Face up to eet Stimpy....Heeeee's........

...ndead....

Stimpy's world is about to collapse. He looks horrified, but then a small crust of hope enters his poor simpleton brain.

Weakly he stammers, "Ok, maybe Floyd's dead, but at least there's.....F F Fred Mertz!"

to be continued...

26 comments:

Iron maiden said...

nick at night is that from nickelodeon?

Niki said...

My goodness, I wish that this were on dvd.

The Butcher said...

This could be a prequel to Ren Seeks Help.

The Butcher said...

Whoops. I already said that in the earlier thread.

RooniMan said...

Man, Ren can sure be harsh.

RobochaoXX said...

I wish to see more ignorance from Ren about things.

He's so funny and incorrect!

Ren:Creamed corn is a marketing scheme by Satan! Don't buy into it Stimpy!

John Young said...

Ren is right about life.

Craig Something said...

I’ve had an idea for a short animated hitchhiking scene and the whole Stimpy biting Ren thing gave me an idea, though it feels like it may have been done before. So, a guy is hitchhiking in a hot desert. He tries to hail a passing vehicle with his thumb, but to no avail. He glances at his thumb, brings it up to his mouth and chomps down on it. His thumb swells and turns red. He tries hailing another ride which stops immediately upon seeing the giant red thumb.

Alberto said...

I wish Nick at Night played these good shows Stimpy's talking about, it's all Rosanne, Prince of Bel-Air, and Cosby.

Can't wait to see what happens when Ren tell's him about Fred Murtz.

Chip Butty said...

Phew, I thought Ren was going to tell Stimpy about Floyd's stroke

The Butcher said...

Hey Craig.

I think it would be funny if the someone stuck their head out of the passing car and bit his thumb while driving by. Then the next car that comes by stops when they see his magnificent swollen thumb, and gives him a ride.

Isaac said...

That's a lot of torment, I can't watch.

Nicol3 said...

The incredible, edible STICKY-NOTE MOUTH.

John Atkinson said...

'He's... DEAD!' Just like in Big House Blues!

georgeliquor said...

OH BOY! First Kaspar and Slab and Ernie...now we're getting good ol' Ren and Stimpy comics! I already bought a Bacon Doodle, but now I have the urge to buy a T-Shirt too.

BTW, thanks for not drawing anything perverse. I'm not allowed to watch Adult Party Cartoon [I watch the original Spumco seasons from Nick religiously]. If my parents noticed I was looking at anything wild, they'd restrict my internet access.

I really like the idea that Ren thinks Stimpy will be happier if he knows the truth about life. I used to go up to Christian kids and try to explain to them that we all rot in the ground when we die...but it's better not to. Ignorance is bliss. Those who don't understand the cruelty of life are truely blessed. I understand Ren's perspective completely. Once again, my life is mirrored in your artwork. Keep on doodling.

georgeliquor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K. Nacht said...

Ren starts selling his platitudes for a dime, like a good old lemonade stand.

K. Nacht said...

"nick at night is that from nickelodeon?"

Good god, I've gone from getting old to ancient!

Mike said...

This really is the best Ren & Stimpy ever! Imagine Stimpy actually getting to the point where he enacts violence against Ren. I'm sure a lot of fans were wondering if that was ever going to happen.

This would work great as a finale. It goes fill circle, at least in terms of broadcast. We see the characters where we first met them: with Stimpy drooling over the TV and Ren trying to talk him off from his pedestal, just like in "Stimpy's Big Day," only with the feeling it's really going to come to a head this time.

SpenkCartoons said...

oh yeah! thanks so much for posting life sucks (storyboard-version) john!!!:DD cant wait for the next part u guys said its the best episode ever written im asking myself if it would beat my #1 episode of all time "Altruists" :)

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

A pleasure to read! There's so much acting and love of cartooning in it, not to mention the fact that it's funny!

Kristina said...

Oh man this is killing me! When will Stimpy do when he finally breaks??

SpenkCartoons said...

i want ren & stimpy back SO BAD!!! D,X> no matter what other say the adult party cartoon's great! & its part of R&S if they ever come back i dont wanna lose them again after 1 year or 2 i want them 10 years!!!! FOREVERRR!!!!

Shawn Dickinson said...

So good!!!

Drawing A Day said...

awesomeness. this is so great

Iron maiden said...

hey "george liqour" I disagree with you about what you said to the christain kids and I think your the one who is Ignorant