Friday, May 14, 2010

Heartaches Pilot 11 - Shan's call

At home, Shaniqua dials Roxy's number to see if she is feeling any better.
"Hey Rox! Do you feel better now that you've been home for awhile? Let's go hang out by the Catholic school tonight!"

Roxy: "you'll never believe what my own mother did, Shan!! She threw out Curly Fuzz Poodle!!!"Shan: "What!!? No way! He was your favorite toy!! What did she do that for?"
Roxy: "Because she HATES me!!" Shan: "She must, if she threw out Curly! Maybe we can find you a new Mom!"
Roxy:" Hang on, someone's at my door."
Roxy's Mom is standing in the doorway, holding something behind her back.
Roxy:"What do you want now?! To beat me with whips? Leave me alone! I'm on the phone!"
Mom: "No, Honey, I bought you a nice toy - a TV one!"
Mom wants to win Roxy's favor and has bought her a brand new doll: Dorra Diversity, based on the award winning TV cartoon that tells you what to believe!

Mom: "And she's good for the environment too! She's completely made of recycled materials! Plus, she talks! She shares lessons about getting along with all races and cultures! Isn't that fun?? How do these crazy cartoonists come up with such wild stuff?"
Roxy doesn't care about toys that teach you anything. All she wants to know is: "Is she FUNNY?"

Mom is repulsed: "Funny? Gawd no! Nothing so vulgar as that!"
Roxy has a fit. "I don't wanna learn anything! I want my funny retarded Curly Fuzz Poodle back! Go away, Robespierre!" She tosses her phone at Mom.
The phone bounces off Mom's head and Roxy catches it.She turns and sobs to Shaniqua: "Oh Shan I'm so worried about Curly! He's all alone in the cold cruel world! No one to love him!!"
"Aw, I'm sure he's got someone, Rox. Don't worry..."
Meanwhile, Curly is shivering from the cold in his new house of love. Spaz is concerned about his fragile wife.
Canadian wind blows through the house. Curly has another problem besides being cold. He pulls his talking cord and whispers to his husband "I gotta...psst,psst,psst."
Spaz motions to the door. "So go, already!" Hardy mutts like him don't use fruity indoor facilities. Curly is shocked. He whimpers "But I'm afraid to go out in the dark all alone."
Spaz walks his mate outside to reassure him while he does his duty. Spaz is starting to wonder whether marrying a soft and pampered uptown girl was the smartest thing to do.

Do you think it was a good idea?