Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Prof Dagwood on The Nature Of Things

No one is better suited to explain the complex processes of nature to the vulgar masses than Dagwood - with some help from his intelligent assistants.

Step one of the demonstration is to mix up a batch of active protoplasmic goo using nature's own chemical recipe.
Stirring the goo brew is sure to result in excited Neutron Bullets.
Dagwood can't make up his mind about who stirs the atomic juices better - a wife, or his team of attractive rubber-coated dog clones.
Like all brilliant scientists, Dagwood has to deal with filthy capitalist corporate princes who use his atomic inventions for frivolous and environmentally disastrous purposes.
Here's how it all works - for you, the layman kid who is intensely interested in sub-atomic physics. Put down your violent video games, turn off your rap cd for a minute and have some real fun.



Dagwood's discoveries win him the coveted Nobel Peace Pup, which he quickly marries and takes home to continue his zany adventures in defying nature's laws.
God tries to warn him.
Dagwood creates a race of living heads sustained by tiny edible dogs.
How the renowned scientist collects more raw material.
Oh those wacky eccentric scientists.
Dutiful and patient human-wife Blondie shares a moment of lunch and levitation with her curious mate.
But - "Don't leave your steaming primordial goo in the fridge with the family foodstuffs!" smacks an outraged Blondie.


Dagwood's unGodly experiments have led to another mutant monstrocity.

Average decent Tea Partiers do not approve of the intellectually gifted and their dirty non-comformist ways.

27 comments:

Roberto Severino said...

Wow, Popeye is nuts for even trying to help that lunatic Dagwood with splitting the atom without his spinach. What was he thinking? Haha.

I seriously wish they still printed that Dagwood book. It would have made a perfect chemistry textbook, and it would have given me an excuse to draw in class and not pay attention to the actual text.

David Gale said...

Cartoon sandwiches always look so delicious for some reason. Even when they contain live fish and crab!

Commander Höek said...

Wow, I'm hoping you were being sarcastic for a minute John because that was a pretty freaking weird story you just told XD

Elana Pritchard said...

Good lord

Alberto said...

Nice money-shot of Blondie.

C. Martin Croker said...

Heh!
Ya just can't beat a good tie-in-the-meat-grinder gag!!
I'm surprised they only used it as a cover gag twice!

RooniMan said...

Sounds like Dagwood is a pretty busy man.

Steve Hogan said...

Haha! Dagwood's head is about to be ground into a slurry of brains, hair and skull fragments!

HemlockMan said...

I'd never thought about how many issues DAGWOOD published. But it hit #100 pretty far back! That's impressive.

Trevor Thompson said...

I'm doing everything in my power to avoid making a comment about discovering Blondie's beauty during my precoscious adolescence because good taste won't allow me to do so without incorporating the term 'goo brew'.

Zoran Taylor said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!.....you said CD.

JohnK said...

What is it called now?

Kali Fontecchio said...

I think he's referring to the fact no one buys cd's anymore.

Trevor Thompson said...

Music. Or, since you don't consider hip hop to be music, 'rap' is just fine.

CDs are still in use. Mp3's are everywhere, but the original recordings have to come from somewhere. As Dagwood was telling Popeye, the future is here. The atom has been split and the result is the mp3. I figgered it out!

JohnK said...

The future is half the sound resolution than cds? and a quarter of vinyl?

I guess that's what Hip-Hop deserves.

Roberto Severino said...

"What is it called now?"

A lot of the youngsters, including myself, listen to iPods, iPod shuffles, and even iPhones, or just we buy music from iTunes and play it on our computers. Yep, that's my generation for ya. A bunch of technologically hip, yet ignorant young punks. I don't know anybody who even listens to music with a CD player anymore.

Maybe that's why Zoran was laughing so much.

Roberto Severino said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JohnK said...

It's hip to listen to music on your phone?

I think I'll go watch my toaster.

mike f. said...

Kali's got on her Dagwood bowtie, I see. According to the second scan, this is prerequisite apparel for French-kissing the family dog on the lips.

Elana Pritchard said...

vinyl forever!!!

david lynch sums the conversation up
david lynch on the i phone

Martin Juneau said...

What said Roberto is true. Today, CD is replaced by mp3, iPod and iPhone. We're very far of the times you can listen music to your walk-man or disc-man.

About violent games, i agree. Nerdy peoples takes that too seriously.

Trevor Thompson said...

Yep. Even the best type of music sounds like crap on a phone.

Too bad the sound quality of vinyl had a lot to do with the necessity for size. I guess it does matter after all.

Ben Laserlove said...

It's a shame that the new media formats are trying to be as perfect and stonecold as possible. I still remember watching Disney's Dumbo on VHS tapes, and it would be almost magical because of the scratches and funny sounds the machine made.

Even though I'm part of the new generation, I know by heart that older medias are way better. Never going to give up my CDs and my parents vinyls!

Also, let's not turn this into another war, trying to convince old fart John K what music he should like. I still like the stuff, but come on.

Oliver_A said...

The real problem is that somewhere in the ancient past, mastering technicians forgot how to mix sound properly. The result being that the Vinyl versions of older music have the superior mix.

One reason is of technical nature: if you screw up the mix on a record, it's rendered unplayable due to a skipping needle. A digital signal can take any kind of abuse.

It's also called the "Loudness Wars", where dynamics on modern CD's are flushed down the toilet for volume. Producers figured out that the audience might be too stupid to use the volume knob on the HiFi.

Loudness Wars

But what did I want to say... Oh! Very nasty ***shot of Dagwood's wife. Naughty naughty naughty!

Oscar Grillo said...

I believe that the Belgian artists who drew Spirou, Etc. were heavily influenced by the drawings of Chick Young.

I wonder how a dissimilar artist such as Alex Raymond (Flash Gordon) assisted Young!

aalong64 said...

I still listen to CDs and vinyl. I only listen to my iPod when I'm public transit.

Zoran Taylor said...

In case anyone is still wondering what I found so funny, it's the idea that tha kidz today are even smart enough to listen to CDs, or have any idea what they are.

Speaking for myself, I'm 20 years old and rarely listen to anything besides vinyl, the content of which almost never leaves my preferred chronological window of 1930-1975, or as I call it, "Jazz Gets Hot through Rock Gets Cold". The only problem is that the first half or so of that era is so goddamn conveniently anthologized on CD and fanatically collected on 78s, but kind of scattered on 33s. So if I'm gonna listen to Ella or Armstrong, I just boost the midrange on my amp and the CDs sound pretty decent. I don't even own an iPod or an MP3 player and I've never bought anything through iTunes.

Hey, I never said you had to CARE......