Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Bags O' Fun VS Anguished Souls in Torment

Y'know, there are a lot of cartoon characters who may have been in godawful shows, yet they still make swell lookin' bags.
This is a sure sign of good character design if they hold up under your own gas.
I'd love to have this semi-inflated handsome Ricochet Rabbit sack. Check out his rude and inflamed olfactory unit.
Aren't you dying to blow up Mighty Mouse to see what his bag looks like? He seems to have an inflatable lump on his noggin to go with his wrong colors.

They just don't create characters who make good bags anymore. No more cartoon icons.Can ya imagine a bag of this imp freak? That would give the kiddies some nightmares.
Ever notice how modern cartoon characters look like every pose and expression involves a lot of pain and strain? It's like there are a hundred invisible demons yanking this guy's eyebrows with all their might, yet they still are barely moving. Is it hard to animate a smile today? Even the simplest expression has become a petrified detestable mask of agony.
Or how'd ya like a nice 'tude bag? Painful strained 'tude I might add. The modern theory is that animated characters have to really struggle to achieve even a fraction of a spark of life. If it isn't hard to lift an arm, then it isn't quality.

28 comments:

Thumpasaur said...

I wrote this after watching Tangled.

Rhyming words is a natural thing

For surely a Language is a song to sing

To sing a song the words must rhyme

Its been this way since the start of time

So you can imagine how pissed off I was

When I took in a musical film and heard none of the above

The words didn't fit

It sounded like shit!

It burned my soul and puckered my butt hole!

In the 40's and 50's they'd never get away

with such shoddy songs for so sumptuous pay

So why in the hell is it okay today?

Did I miss something?

Did I skip the class?

That says it's okay to write scores that super suck ass?



Grant G. Travers 10-4-2011

daniel said...

so it really sucked that much, i couldn´t tell because my only choice was hideous translation made by so called movie-stars. every time there was a song i would say to my self "that´s it i´m getting out", but then id realize "i´ve already paid and they wont give me my money back" so that´s the reason i know how this movie ends.

Mattieshoe said...

That horrible mutated abomination against nature just wants someone to end his painful and meaningless existence

J.R. said...

Why am I so bothered by Magilla's lack of nostrils? It's like a clitoris on his face.

Isaac said...

Apparently audiences don't notice any stiffness or numbness, and the critics just love it. They do notice it in Zemeckis films, so maybe the threshold of noticeable stiffness and numbness lies between DreamWorks and Zemeckis.

Morgue Anne said...

'tude bag! Lol...Tangled was a turd fest and a sad ending to the era of princesses for Disney, as they announced that there will be no more. Can't say I'll miss them...

Steven M. said...

Somebody put those modern characters out of their misery!

Luke said...

Actually, it's the last of the Disnry Princess era, there was really only ever one character, their attitude just got smug as time went on. Ever notice how characters who started out very charismatic and sly (or in one's case, "Daffy" and insane) only became bitter and smug with age?

Luke said...

Oh, and speaking of songs, has anyone ever seen this old propaganda spot with Bugs, really good song, and I wonder who animated it, Virgil Ross?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_oc5hQt-A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

First time I've seen it. If the link doesn't work, just search YouTube for "Any bonds today, bugs"

David Germain said...

The best part of Tangled was definitely Glen Keane's little animation touches. Everything else....... meh.

Martin Juneau said...

I just seen the Tangled post and i can't believe you have all right about the 'Tudeness. The worst thing happened is films critics appreciate that crapfest than notice the errors and have real judgments. Only Michael Barrier and Jerry Beck mades sincere reviews about that movie.

Isaac said...

Well, Martin, the audience liked it, so I think the critics do well to reflect the audience's taste. Barrier and Beck are animation experts, and I think they do well to represent that point of view. Both sides are valid.

zmerrill said...

I think this 3D rendering of Gorillaz definitely kills the other modern 3D gayness.

http://twentysevenviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/gorillaz-o2prioritywalk.jpg

Elana Pritchard said...

How does a bag-o-fun inflate itself properly with all of the short-sighted half-lifes puffing stalely into it's air hole? They puff blandly at it, and then get mad when it doesn't spring to life. Then they give up.

Fun bags are few and far between. They lurk in the deepest, darkest corners of the Goodwill and on the edges of Ebay solar systems...

All these poor, shrink-wrapped souls can do is thank their lucky stars daily for the gas giants. And for the moon.

C said...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T RUIN MIGHTY MOUSE'S SEAMS!

K-T said...

@Thumpasaur

That was freaking genius.

@JohnK those blow up dolls look so good! It looks like a lot of effort went into making them look like the characters.

I also should add those pictures of Rumpelstilskin and Flynn made me vomit out my ass.

tsurow said...

Speaking of both classic icons and modern-day abominations, whatever happened to that planned CG Mighty Mouse movie? Was it (hopefully) put out of its misery?

mike f. said...

What happened to the "coming soon" Mickey Mouse ass-thingy, with the Caesarian section where the trapdoor should be?

VioletStereo said...

"imp freak"

You have a wonderful way with words.

bergsten said...

The second to last picture? The guy in the woods holding some sort of white tiara thing?

What gives with the left eyebrow? It seems to have come detached from his skin. Maybe it's heading north out of embarrassment.

Wouldn't you think that doing "realistic" animation involves having some passing acquaintance with anatomy?

Scrawnycartoons said...

The imps you speak of tugging at his face with all their might in a desperate attempt to squish together an expression,

they're called tortured animators

Raven M. Molisee: said...

When I was watching Tangled I had a hard time adjusting to the silliness of the acting. Animation posing paired with all that detail and texture.. doesn't seem to work for me. In general, I don't like acting in animation that looks like the characters are performing in a play but CGI seems to be way, way, way less forgiving. It feels like they're trying too hard to make the old way work but its not the same medium. To me, THAT made it feel strained. Its like, dude, you went through all the trouble modeling them and giving them all these realistic textures.. it seems like they'd want to make the acting more "real" and less caricatured...

Fucks with my suspension of disbelief and all that jazz.

Zoran Taylor said...

My very talented friend Aaron Long wrote a really funny post about a similar issue recently - Why don't eyes and eyebrows move together anymore? And how is it that in CG features, where everything is broken into pre-programmed mechanical relationships and thus cheats are not possible, that eyebrows are now moving independent of the eyes beneath them?! It's lunacy!!

baggersteve said...

The girl in Tangled has bigger breasts, and more cleavage than the one from The Little Mermaid. See link below to confirm. There is a computer algorithm to adjust 'bounce'. Expect pirate 'Dead of Alive' version to be circulating in the usual dark corners of the internet soon.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5286/5248632585_2dd7d4746f_o.jpg

CartoonSteve said...

OK heres my public service nag for people who won't make clickable links: Its really easy folks:
see?

Why waste a possible useful post because you're too lazy to link?

Anyway I like the bags o' fun. They're like miniature versions of Thanksgiving Day parade balloons.

Chris said...

I think if anybody takes any good character design, add a whole lot of crappy CG hair and fur, blemishes and pockmarks and whatnot, it'd still look like shit.

Liam D. said...

There is now a costume released for Mighty Mouse.. isn't that great!

Martin Juneau said...

I finally see this picture yesterday. What a disappointment! And i also notice how they seems to paid more for the special effects and CGI techniques than for the writings and characters itself. How many dollards paid for that misery? 930 millions, anyone?