CALLING ALL GIRLS-THE HEARTACHES

click these below to see the Heartaches in action!
http://boingboing.onlinestoragesolution.com/oldnavy-girls1.mov
http://boingboing.onlinestoragesolution.com/oldnavy-girls2.mov

Hi girls! Below are Roxy, Tia, Red and the Curly Fuzz Poodle.I've posted the story for the pilot episode of the Heartaches
and want you to tell me how you like it!

Now all you middle aged men reading it, this ain't for you!!
I have other cartoons with your needs in mind; this is for the girls, ok? Save your comments for the George Liquor posts.
-the management-

Curly Fuzz Trauma (outline)

Mom wants to throw out doll
It’s Spring cleaning and Mom and Dad are throwing stuff out. They enter Roxy’s room, and mother shakes her head in disgust. ‘Look at that girl’s mess. She has way too much stuff! Why Daddy, you just spoil her!!
She picks up the Curly Fleece Poodle. ‘Just look at this ragged old thing! Where the heck did you find this dirty beast anyways?’
“I got it at a swap meet. It’s from Roxy’s favorite cartoon show from the ‘60’s. The Curly Crew!”
Mom says, ‘Well, I think we should throw it out. It’s filthy, and besides, she’s getting to be way too old for that sort of thing.’
Dad says, ‘Oh, we can’t throw out the Curly Fuzz Poodle! That’s her favorite doll!’
Dad takes her out of Roxy’s room, ‘C’mon let’s go downstairs and clean out the basement.’
‘Mom says, ‘OK, but I don’t care what you say, I’m coming back to clean out Roxy’s room and that Poodle is out of here!’
The Note
The Curly Fuzz Poodle is devastated but prepared for his fate. ‘It was only a matter of time.’ He writes a farewell note to Roxy, knowing that his end is near.
He opens the window and hurls himself into the trash can outside.

Roxy comes home from school
She had a bad day and needs a hug and a heart to heart talk with her best friend who isn’t flesh and blood.
She goes in her room and sees an empty spot between her other newer dolls and yelps. ‘CFP! Where are you?’
She finds his pitiful note surrounded by clumps of multi colored poodle fluff.
‘Dear Roxy,
You have been my best friend in the whole world, but there comes a time in every old toy’s life when he needs to be recycled. Your Mom has decided that it is my time to be thrown out with the trash.
Goodbye forever,
love,
CFP’

Trash Collector
Roxy runs outside and sees that the trash is gone and she faints.
Mom’s in the dog house
That night at dinner, Roxy’s parents wonder why she’s looking so down.
‘As if you don’t know!’ she blurts.
Mom and Dad are perplexed.
‘You threw out my Curly Fuzz Poodle!’ she accuses Mom.
Mom says, ‘No I didn’t! I wanted to but your father convinced me to let you keep the dirty old thing, didn’t you Daddy?’
Father looks at Mom disappointed.
So now both Roxy and Father think Mom’s a meanie and the household enters an era of strife.
Ext. shot of colorful house as the whole scene turns dim.

Sad Roxy tapes Fuzz Clumps to her Person
We have a sad scene of Roxy sitting on her bed in her pajamas with the little mound of colored clumps on her lap.
She licks each clump and sticks it on her body somewhere-in her hair, on her shoulder, etc.
Next day at school she has the clumps taped to her and gets detention because clumps are forbidden by the dress code.

Bulldog
The next day, A bulldog is rooting through the trash at the county dump, looking for food.
He finds the Curly Fuzz Poodle and says, 'Hey! You’re cute. Lookit that fancy hair! You're one o' them big city dames, ain't ya? I’m gonna make you my wife!’
He takes the poodle home to his dog house and tries to make him happy.
The Curly Fuzz Poodle can’t get used to living in a dog house.
He’s used to the soft life.

At night he freezes.
He doesn’t like to go to the bathroom outside, even with his husband holding his hand.
Finally the Bulldog gets fed up and divorces him at dog court.

Beanie Baby
Mom sees Roxy getting more and more depressed and tries to cheer her up by buying her a lumpy ugly Beanie Baby type toy.
‘Roxy yells ‘Beanie Babies suck!’ She flings the beanie baby out the window and it hits Suzy Stuckup. ‘Wow! I’ve got Sammy Seal now! My collection is complete! I’m queen of the trends!’

Out on his ear
Curly Fuzz walks the streets alone, afraid and unwanted.

Roxy cries to Tia
She calls Tia and tells her that she’s lost her favorite doll.
Tia sympathizes.
Tia’s wall socket listens in on the conversation.
Tia hangs up the phone and leaves her bedroom to go to Roxy’s house.
The wall socket talks to the other inanimate objects in the room.
‘Hey Phone! Did you hear that?!’
Phone: Hear what? I wasn’t paying attention.”
Wall Socket: ‘Tia’s friend has lost her favorite inanimate object!’
A pair of Tia’s tights says, ‘How awful!’
The wall socket pulls itself out of the wall.
Wall socket: ‘C’mon gang, let’s have a conference! We need to help Roxy!’
The phone receiver jumps off the hook and rolls across the floor towards the wall socket.
The rest of the phone yells ‘Hey wait for me!’, jumps off the table and hops across the floor towards the others.
Fade out on the conference as Tia’s room decides what to do.
Puppet Show
Tia is trying to cheer Roxy up in her bedroom by putting on a puppet show.
She has a puppet on each hand and is doing silly voices and waving the pupets in front of Roxy’s face.
Roxy is wasting away, a shadow of her former bubbly self.
As the puppets come closer, she narrows her eyes and bursts out at Tia, “Stop talking. Those aren’t reaaall! They’re just puppets! Puppets! Puppets!!
Curly Fuzz Poodle Doll was real.”

Maynard the cat is sitting next to Tia. He looks up at her and says, “Tsk tsk tsk, she’s gone, man. She’s really gone. Too bad. She was a good master once.”

Skid Row
The Curly Fuzz Poodle ends up begging.
He begs people to pull his talking string; they do it, but his talk box is rusty and his speech is garbled. People feel sorry for him.

CFP is found
CFP decides it’s time to recycle himself, when a mailbox recognizes him.
The mailbox nudges a nearby telephone pole: ‘Hey! Doesn’t that guy match the description of that missing Fuzz character??
Telephone pole: ‘Yeah, that’s the way Tia’s phone described him to me.’
The telephone pole sends a message to Tia’s house: ‘We’ve spotted the Curly Fuzz Poodle, corner of 57th and 3rd, heading northeast, looking mighty ragged.’

Tia’s phone, wall socket, vestibule and tights wait around the corner for the Curly Fuzz Poodle to approach.
The tights jump on CFP and engulph him, tying himself up tight at the top. The tights walk home to Tia’s with CFP inside, and everyone is happy.

CFP gets fixed up
The socket observes CFP’s condition. ‘We can’t take him back like this. We gotta fix him up!’
A drawer in the vestibule opens and a needle and thread hop out. They begin to stitch up CFP’s holes.
The phone pulls his string to try and make him talk. We hear a rusty, garbled groan. ‘He’s all rusted up inside!’
A toothbrush volunteers to help. He sticks his brush into CFP’s ring hole and scrapes the rust off his talking mechanism.
CFP is sparkling and clean.

The objects take him to Roxy’s and shove him back in Roxy’s room through the window.

Mom and Dad argue
Back on Roxy’s bed, CFP just begins to settle in when he overhears an argument outside Roxy’s room.
Dad is accusing Mom of throwing out the Fuzz Poodle and Mom is flatly denying it.
Dad: ‘I can’t believe you threw out that poodle! Roxy hasn’t been the same since! How could you?’
Mom: ‘I’m telling you I never threw it out. You convinced me not to! I have no idea what happened to it.’
The Curly Fuzz Poodle gets an idea. He writes another note to Roxy.

Roxy comes home
She is completely depressed. She hurls her books on the bed and throws herself down for a good sob right smack on top of CFP. She starts crying but we see her back quivering from the agitation of the CFP as he is trying to wriggle out.
A little paw comes out under her belly pulling a talking string.
Roxy hears the string retracting as she has heard so many times before and stops crying.
She smiles as she realizes…she arches her back enough to look under her belly and we hear “Get off.”

She grabs the Fuzz Poodle and gives him a giant hug. She sees the note.
‘Dear Roxy, Your mom never threw me out, I threw myself out. She suggested getting rid of me, and I thought the end was near, so I took care of it myself. Your mom isn’t to blame. She even found me and fixed me up nice for you. So even though she thinks I’m a filthy, repulsive, immature pile of sawdust, she’s letting you have me anyways. That’s how much she loves you.
P.S. Please pull my string.’
She pulls the string. Fuzz Poodle says: ‘AND I LOVE YOU TOO.’

Happy Ending
Roxy runs out to the living room and yells, ‘Mom, thank you!’
Dad sees CFP. ‘Holy mackerel! Where’d he come from?’
Roxy beams, ‘Mom found him and fixed him all up for me!’
Dad looks guilty and gives mom a hug. Mom is dumbfounded.
Everyone hugs.
Hug hug hug love love.

The End

SPONSOR THE GEORGE LIQUOR SHOW YOU EEDIOTS!!!

Hey folks-some potential sponsors will be looking at this post this week, so tell 'em how much you need these cartoons and that you will love their product even more if they put these cartoons on the web! I promise to summon Friz' ghost to time some of them for you!




























THE GEORGE LIQUOR PROGRAM

GEORGE LIQUOR STORIES 1

GEORGE LIQUOR STORIES 2

GEORGE LIQUOR STORIES 3 - FAST FOOD, LUST AND ATHEISTS

GEORGE LIQUOR STORIES 4 - HEAVEN AND MORE DIRTY TALES

THE GEORGE LIQUOR PROGRAM SPINOFFS: 2 DIRTY PUSSIES

GEORGE LIQUOR STORIES - KATIE PRESENTATIONS




CLICK ME TO SEE A GEORGE LIQUOR CARTOON!

Brik Blastoff Of The Outback

Here's a project I have been dying to do for a long time. I designed it. Tom Minton helped write it. Lynne Naylor did presentation art. Jeff John put the story bible together. Chris Peterson did the inks.

THE WORLD OF BRIK BLASTOFF

Four hundred billion years in the future, long after every single one of you will be dead, the universe as we know it shall no longer be. Planet Earth, destroyed in a nuclear holocaust is an ancient myth. The remnants of earth's particles have been fused into complex agar molecules. These molecules are buried deep in asteroids scattered throughout the Milky Way.

Agar is the most prized possession in the future, because it is the perfect food. People build colonies around the asteroid belts and mine the elusive material. Piracy and Agar Wars are constants in the future, and it is a world of chaos.

Piercing through this chaos stabs a shining bolt of order — Brik Blastoff of the Outback. Stationed on a lone outpost on Ganymede, Brik Blastoff and his noble Rocket Rangers keep a stern watch on the galaxy, ever ready to free the oppressed, right wrongs and enforce their prime directive: "To interfere with alien cultures, to bring freedom and democracy to places where they don't even want it, and above all, to make the galaxy a safe place in which to be Manly."

Brik Blastoff

Captain of the Rocket Rangers, paternal and extremely ethical, Brik is a role model's role model.

A send-up of masculine stereotypes, Brik never unclenches his virile teeth, not even while eating. He sucks food into his system by sheer will power. Every morning he irons his head, then prepares a pot of scalding black coffee, which he pours onto his face!

Jimi

Brik's teenaged (thirteen months) sidekick and first lieutenant of the Rocket Rangers.

Intolerant of lawbreakers and overly eager to please Brik, this wild teen must sometimes be restrained and disciplined by his more experienced crew members.

This bubbly youth is also the most talented member of the team. He entertains the crew with jokes, songs, mime, and some complex dog tricks.

Jimi can hardly wait to experience puberty.

Steve

Smartest of the Rocket Rangers. The only normal recruit.

Steve is the straight man in the series, although she is a woman. Her name was given to her by Brik, who thinks women are just funny-looking men.

Steve is the science engineer. She also is a liberated woman, a rare thing in the future, and this drives Brik crazy.

Nit Hoatzin

Psycho female recruit. Nearly as talented as Jimi.

Outwardly appearing similar to a beautiful earth woman, Nit Hoatzin (named by Brik himself in a rare fit of creativity) is actually of an ancient, dying alien race known simply as "Derek." While communicating telepathically with the only other survivor of her people, Nit exhibits some pretty weird behavior: idiosyncratic eye movements, numerous spasms, and a failure to bleed.

Nit’s duties include guiding young Jimi through puberty.

Comet the Wonder Cow

The cow's cow.

Comet is a real cow who floats through space who is occassionally encountered by our cast in their adventures. He eventually replaces the Buck Bronto character after Buck's rapid demise via her own spontaneous combustion.

Comet is Brik’s mascot. He is a male cow.

Dik Diskusting

Psychotic and brilliant scientist and inventor. Brik Blastoff's arch enemy.

The villain of the piece, Dik was once a revered super genius like Brik, but has since turned evil. Dik goes back to college days with Brik, when they were still friends. Brik always outclassed Dik in every department, a fact that still makes Dik's blood hop. Dik cracked long ago, swearing vengeance on all biological life forms — especially Brik Blastoff.

Brik's great pity towards his onetime friend sends Dik to maniacal levels.

If you can believe it, A,T and T once licensed Brik and the gang for this online ad...

Drawn by me, Jim Smith, Mike Fontanelli and inked by Shane Glines and his pal, whose name I don't recall...help me Shane!

George Liquor StoryBible 2 - more characters

Here are some more of the recurring characters. George Liquor's world is much like the neighborhood I grew up in, only different physical laws apply depending on which character's point of view each story is told by.







http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/04/george-liquor-stories-3-fast-food-lust.html

George Liquor Storybible

HERE ARE MORE CHARACTERS FROM THE WORLD OF GEORGE LIQUOR
George Storybible 2

G.I. Babies from 1988

This was a show Idea I pitched in 1988 to make fun of all the baby cartoon shows that were popular.

Direct Sponsorship 2

So after Ren and Stimpy was done, I turned to the Internet and developed a new medium-the Flash cartoon. I made the first Flash cartoons, put them online and experimented with my dream of direct sponsorship. I did some free commercials for Tower Records.

George Liquor pitches Tower

1998 was a little too early for anyone in business to understand how effective this advertising model could be with the internet. Everyone was convinced that only TV could sell products-even as the TV ratings were steadily going down every year as everyone was spending more time online.


Now thanks to Tivo and satellite TV, no one watches commercials at all anymore. They just fast forward through them.


Let's face it here's advertising's biggest problem- PEOPLE HATE COMMERCIALS.


I have the solution- LET ENTERTAINERS MAKE COMMERCIALS THAT PEOPLE LIKE.







No one fast forwards through my commercials.

I made these Old Navy Spots a few years ago and Old Navy's sales shot up 500% right after they aired and for quite a time following.

Kids wrote me asking "Where is the rest of the cartoon?" They thought these ads were part of a whole show and were sad that there wasn't a show attached.
So I came up with one:

CALLING ALL GIRLS - THE HEARTACHES


CALLING ALL GIRLS - MORE HEARTACHES

This show is itching to be sponsored online or as direct to DVD. I own these characters and can have them sell any kind of kid products and no one will be mad. I will make the commercials as fun as the show and completely make your product look spectacular! This is an idea that I have been promoting for over a decade now, and I think the world is finally catching up to me.

Raketu is the first company to try it and you can see the animated banner I did to the right of of the blog.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT RAKETU

I'm in New York this week with FM, and meeting with Raketu to talk about what else we can do for their product and the fans using my cartoons. I'm also seeing some ad agencies, so I want all of you fans out there to comment and tell these smart business folks that you are dying to see some cartoons from me and you will watch all the commercials and click the links and decide whether you want to buy their products.



This advertising/entertainment worked for 30s radio and early TV. Let's go back to it, only on the web where people spend so much time.

TV is dying, let's finish them off and give the audience and the sponsors what they want at the same time-at a fraction of the cost of doing television.

Wally Man 5 leftovers

Well I'm running out of Wally stuff for the moment, but here's a look at his 3 zany nephews. He hates them. We never figure out exactly who they are related to-him or Petunia. Neither one actually has any place they could actually come out of. I think cartoon nephews must come about by spontaneous generation. Cartoons are like Christian science.

Maybe we can do a flashback to their births in petrie dishes. Wally can be practicing alchemy in his lab of ungodly activities.



My friend Mike Kerr suggested we leak a sex tape of Wally and Petunia onto the web and it becomes a huge viral hit like Paris Hilton's. Wally and Petunia would gain instant fame and notoriety. They could then charge $20,000 to appear at your party for 15 minutes. I love the idea but I fear it would hinder Wally's success as a kiddie cartoon.

Wally Man 3 some story ideas

Catch phrases
These are words Wally loves to say:
“Why won’t you die??!!”
“You thtop chewing my wiwes!” (wires)
“You better fix my wiwes, you wascawwee feathered wodents!”
“Why won’t you die tho I can get on wiff my pwogwam? Die fathter!”
“I’m gonna bwain that thicken wiff a pop bottle!”
“Feth Up you wowwee (lowly) cweature you.”
“Did you pway a pwank on Pwetunia?”

Traps
Wally’s traps for animals make no sense.
He makes a box trap and hits them with it.
He thinks chickens eat baby kittens so he lures Billy with kittens in traps.
Poison
Firecrackers
Drowning

Wally’s Hamburger Garden

Wally’s trained cow plants hamburgers in his garden and the two pesky beasts steal the burgers so Wally has to set traps for them which backfire on him.

Wally’s Chicken Hunt

Wally’s job is stressing him out. He’s a wig salesman at a department store.
Wally takes a hunting vacation to relax. He figures if he causes stress for helpless forest creatures, that will ease his stress.
“There’s nothing more Wewaxing than cauthing thtwess for helpleth fowest Cweatureth!”

There he meets up with Billy Chicken the zaniest creature in the forest.

If I don’t cook Thicken Thoup For Dinner, Mommy Man Will Cook My Gooth!

Wally’s Mom, Mrs. Man, demands chicken soup for dinner so Wally has to catch a couple chickens and bring them home. They don’t cooperate.

WALLY THE METROSEXUAL

My friend Corky just came up with tis idea today:

Wally gets a date with Petnia and she's finally ready to kiss him, when....Yikes!!

She notices something awful about him! His bowtie is droopy and wrinkly. She puts her lips away and tells Wally "I'm sorry Wally, but I only like smooth young boys."

Wally is devastated until he finds an ad for a dermatologist who does peels. Wally goes and gets microdermabrasion-all over!

The doctor dips him into a burning searing chemical soup.

Wally comes out all read and swollen.

There is only one spot left untouched-a light thumbprint above his buttcrack where the doctor held him while dipping him.

He tells Wally that he will shed a few layers of old skin and in 4 days he will be as smooth as a baby's butt. So Wally plans a date with Petunia in 4 days, expecting to be pink and smooth.

On the date, Wally shows up covered in blisters and bloody scabs, with hunks of flesh just falling off of him like potato chips.

We haven't come up with an ending yet, so feel free to create with us.

..here's an extra idea...you know that little 'V' with the line in the middle just above your butt crack? I call that a "butt pussy". Maybe after Wally heals, he finds that his new skin is invulnerable-all except for his Achilles Butt-Pussy and he becomes a super hero and Petunia falls in love with him until some super vilain fins his weakness and punishes the butt pussy, defeating him...

Wally Man 4 - Wally's Girlfriend

Wally, like all men, needs love.

Petunia Man

Petunia is Wally’s girlfriend.
She is bald too except for pigtails on her butt.
She is very temperamental.
One minute she likes Wally and the next he’s done something wrong or offensive but he never knows what he did.
She makes him jump through hoops to please her.
She loves animals and demands that any love of hers better be kind to dumb animals.
Wally has to pretend he likes animals when she’s around. Billy Chicken takes advantage of this by helping himself to Wally’s food, hospitality and love.


Wally’s allergies
Wally is allergic to fur, feathers, beaks, combs and wattles.

Whenever he is near animals he sneezes, breaks out in hives and has asthma attacks. He has a big inhaler that he breathes into to rid his lungs of dander.

Petunia’s Love Test

Wally meets Petunia for the first time and falls in love.
She makes him prove himself before she accepts his love.
He has to prove that he is:
...Hardy

Opening
Billy Chicken is heckling Wally one morning and driving Wally crazy. (Need heckling jokes)
Vision of Beauty
All of a sudden Wally is distracted by a lovely vision of smoothness: Petunia Man.
Love takes: what are they?
Wally loses interest in Billy and goes to meet Petunia. He polishes first.

...Loves Animals
Petunia tells him: ”My man has to be sensitive. He must love all God’s creatures and be kindly and share his fortune with them.

Wally tells Petunia,”Oh I wove dumb animalth! I wove them even more than wiches or fame!”
Billy Chicken overhears Wally’s lie and calls him on it. He rubs around his legs and purrs and helps himself to all of Wally’s material possessions:

Food
TV
Bed

Wally gets Asthma attacks
Every time Wally does anything with Billy, he starts gasping for air and coughing up feathers.
He keeps pulling out a giant inhaler and taking puffs from it in-between trying to pretend to indulge Billy and wanting to hit him.

Billy Misses His Litter Box
Petunia notices something stinky and thinks Wally farted.
Wally is embarrassed.
Petunia says, “That’s a very rude thing to do on our first date Wally Man!” I like to get to know a man first, before I inhale his most private secrets.
Then Wally realizes what happened: Billy crapped on the potato chips.
This is Wally’s chance to discipline his pet!

“For shame you wittle thicken! Did you cwap on the potato chips? Did you?”
Wally’s menacing shadow creeps over Billy as Billy backs against the wall.

Petunia Catches Wally punishing Billy
Wally pushes Billy’s beak towards his dirty deed and spanks his bottom.
Petunia freaks out!
“Wally Man! Are you being cruel to that poor ignorant beast? He’s only following his nature! How dare you! You apologize to your special friend.”
Wally reluctantly apologizes while holding Billy’s beak tightly and pinching him hard.

Humane Society
A huge burly thug from the humane society comes and beats up Wally and brands him an abuser, then leaves.
Then Petunia sees the brand and gets all lovey-dovey, “I love a man with a tattoo”.

Kiss
So now Petunia is ready for romance. She says, “”Well aren’t you gonna kiss me you great big hunk of shiny skin, you?”
Wally takes a huge puff from his asthma inhaler.
Just as he close his eyes and puckers up, Billy plucks a couple feathers and stuffs them up Wally’s nose.

He kisses Petunia. She squeezes him hard.
We see Wally’s nose begin to twitch. He fights it! His eyes start watering.
Billy scratches his comb and chicken dander falls into Wally’s eyes.
The eyes turn red and swell up.
Hives break out all over Wally.

They stop kissing and Petunia opens her eyes softly to gaze at Wally’s twitching face.
She says, “That’s the best kiss I eever…”
“Aaaaathchoooooo!!!” Wally sneezes into her face.
“Well I never!!” says Petunia (covered in slime) who slaps Wally’s face and leaves in a huff. “You’ll never be my boyfriend, you slovenly brute!”

Wally chases Billy
Chasing and puffing on his inhaler as they run off into the distance.

The End

Wally Man Show 2

Wally Man has every speech impediment.

He hates 'pethth' (pests).

Here's a good reason.

Here are some teasers for you:

The Tortoise and the Mammal

Billy Chicken gets the idea that he could win a lot of money by staging a race and dressing up Sammy Beast in a Tortoise suit to race against Wally the higher invertebrate.
He tells Sammy to be sure to lose the race.

He figures Tortoises always win so everyone will bet on the tortoise, so Billy bets on Wally. The odds against Wally are 136 to one so Billy figures he’ll clean up.
Sammy Tortoise cheats to lose.

Wally is so stupid though that he loses the race anyway and the ugly mob of animals that Billy bet against chase him at the end of the cartoon.

Wally is left dumbfounded.

Aladdin’s Lump

Billy Chicken discovers a fleshy protuberance sticking out of the ground and rubs it, thinking that he will summon a magic genie to grant his chicken wishes.
No genie appears but the lump does get shiny which seems promising. He tries wishing upon a shine, but still nothing happens so he gets mad and hits the lump.
A bump appears on the lump and this time he knows he’s on to something.
He rubs the lump and sure enough out pops the enchanted Genie of the Lump.

In the end it turns out that the shiny fleshy lump is the top of Wally’s bald head. He has been buried in dirt for a week.
Everyone laughs as Wally chases Billy and the genie, sputtering dirt out of his impedimented lips.

The Thicken Pwot Thickens (The chicken plot thickens)

Billy and Sammy are cheap thugs that are looting the forest. It is a dark underworld film noir forest.
They are stealing sap from Maple trees, and striking terror throughout the animal kingdom.
Officer Wally Man of the undercover squad tracks them to bring them to justice.
A hard-boiled thriller.

Nathunal Geogwaphic Thtowieth

Wally is watching his favorite show-National Geographic.
He loves to watch nature shows about animals in the wild.
All of a sudden his reception goes haywire.
He goes outside to see what happened and finds wild animals chewing his cable lines and he goes crazy!
Wally tries to rid himself of his pests so he can go back to watching the wonders of nature safe inside his man-made environment.

Calling All Kinds-The Wally Man Show

George Liquor Stories - John and Katie presentations

The other day we had to go pitch our ideas for web cartoons so Katie and I spent a day drawing these full color presentation boards from some of the cartoon ideas I told you about earlier.

As you all know, in my cartoons you can tell the different styles that each cartoonist has, because I encourage creativity. Katie and I have similar styles of course, but she has the feminine version and I have the manly one.
I wonder if you can tell which drawings she did and which I did.
Hopefuly your eyes haven't been blunted by watching too many of those godawful "on-model" stick-figure shows.
BTW, here's a link to the stories so you can see that it might be possible to have eye pleasing art and funny stories at the same time-a radical concept, right?
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/04/george-liquor-stories-3-fast-food-lust.html
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/04/george-liquor-stories-4-heaven-and.html
How are your eyes doing? Are they waking up somewhat?
How would you like to see this kind of stuff on your media boxes of every kind?
I have a concept for those folks who think that ugly drawings must automatically be accompanied by good writing-or how did it get on TV?: I think then for your tastes, you should only have sex with ugly girls who can only make 3 expresssions, because pretty ones will distract from the pleasure happening in your rude parts.

Then you can boast to your friends with the pants falling off that she's ugly on purpose and just the right kind of ugly to put across the mess.
So have you figured out which drawings were done by Katie and which by me?

Come down to meet us Sunday and find out!
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/05/gallery-and-original-john-and-katie.html

George Liquor Stories 4 - Heaven and more dirty tales

Well I was a little nervous to post the last stories, seeing as how they dealt with our basest needs- sex and religion, but from all the positive comments, I can see that you're nothing but a bunch of heathens, so here's a couple more tales to sate your pagan lusts.

Action VS God

George Liquor is a God-fearing widower who is saving himself for Heaven. He is totally devoted to his deceased wife Mabel, whose rear end is stuffed and mounted on the wall in his trophy room.

Merle (Sody’s big sister), A vixenish and buxom divorcee from down the street, has the hots for George and tries to seduce him in his own house of purity.
She is gorgeous and extremely tempting, so for the whole cartoon she tries to get him to cheat on his dead wife.
He has to frantically resist his natural urges and it gets harder and harder to do so.
He eventually tears pages out of the bible and sticks them on top of his erogenous zones as Merle corners him against a romantic bear skin wall rug.
George is sweating like mad and it looks like it’s over.

Cut to Heaven:
God is in His office, planning the next universe he will create. He’s deciding on how many billions of galaxies to create from nothing, and which planets will have life, and every exact countless combination of amino acids it will take to create zillions of new life forms to populate his universe, when something more important than all that comes up.

SOMEONE HAS A BONER.

Nothing makes God more furious than when the equipment he designed for man functions.
God’s helper tells him George Liquor is on the phone. God looks down at his phone and sure enough, George’s button is flashing. He picks up and George begs him to save his soul and destroy the accursed symbol of his lust.

God strikes George dead and in his dying gasp he sticks his tongue out at a frustrated Merle.
“I wiiiin!!” gasps George as he succumbs to infinity.

Slumber Party

George Liquor is concerned about the trouble his teenage niece could get into out on the streets at night so he decides to host slumber parties for Janie and her friends. This could be done as a series. Each episode could feature a different activity:

Truth Or Dare:
The girls decide to play truth or dare. They talk about the boys they like. One says she loves Justin Timberloaf. Another loves Coleman from down the street. Judy says, “You know who I think is hot? Your Uncle Georgie!”