Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Who wants to see THE HE HOG MOVIE?

Here is my totally mainstream family oriented kid's movie idea. G rated. I just pitched it again and everyone laughed like crazy but then worried that it's too edgy, which it's not. We live in a strange world where no one in business seems to want to make money.
This is the brain that almost wrecked a planet. It is packed with dangerous ideas. Moles grow on the brain in front of our very eyes. They devour the brain impulses causing the scalp to tingle with a burning urgency too intense for our puny imaginations to contemplate. The brain must constantly feed the moles with fantastic ideas that tamper with God's laws. The brain longs for peace and respite from the gnawing voracious moles that demand ever more frightening ideas. The more awful the ideas, the more delicious they taste.
This is Professor Mole, hapless human host of the itching pulsating brain.
The Professor is quiveringly deranged but not technically evil. He just has a burning brain that must needs tamper with God's laws. The brain wishes it could survive without its primitive and morally infused host. But the brain cannot live without the precious blood supply pumped into it by the generous professor's empathic heart and so for the moment must put up with his restraining ethical principles. The brain needs a willing ally in order to follow through on any of its shocking innovations.
Professor Mole is dedicated to benefitting society through the advance of science. He himself though is so hideous that he is shunned by the very society he longs to benefit and must conduct his awesome experiments in a hidden basement laboratory. The basement is putrid with dank mold and segmented creeping things of a lower order. Professor Mole has an unusual fascination for segments and collects them in jars. Sometimes he makes new things from unrelated segments. It's one of his many harmless obsessions. He thinks maybe humans would get along better if we had crisp segments rather than rude connective tissue.

Mikey is a praying mantis who lives in the basement of the same tenement building as professor mole. The professor discovers him one day hovering in the dank shadows, grooming his segments - which makes an eerie and beckoning musical call. To Mole's surprise, Mikey is not afraid of the professor's deeply ugly countenance. The professor befriends Mikey and feeds him. He massages his segments, oils them and keeps them in perfect working order.

Mikey is professor mole's only friend. Unlike his kindly master, Mikey is truly evil and joins forces with the Professor's throbbing ghastly brain. Mole, blinded by his love for Mikey, unwittingly commits unspeakable atrocities upon mankind in order to please his voracious segmented buddy.

ask about FEEDING TIME if you dare...

The danger of Professor Mole's Doomsday machine is so great that He Hog enlists the aid of the fantastic otherworldly

Beautiful sculpts by Hryma!