Wally Man, Made Of Skin and Pink

http://johnkpitch.blogspot.com/2007/11/links-to-more-cartoon-shows.html

Wally Man 5 leftovers

Well I'm running out of Wally stuff for the moment, but here's a look at his 3 zany nephews. He hates them. We never figure out exactly who they are related to-him or Petunia. Neither one actually has any place they could actually come out of. I think cartoon nephews must come about by spontaneous generation. Cartoons are like Christian science.

Maybe we can do a flashback to their births in petrie dishes. Wally can be practicing alchemy in his lab of ungodly activities.



My friend Mike Kerr suggested we leak a sex tape of Wally and Petunia onto the web and it becomes a huge viral hit like Paris Hilton's. Wally and Petunia would gain instant fame and notoriety. They could then charge $20,000 to appear at your party for 15 minutes. I love the idea but I fear it would hinder Wally's success as a kiddie cartoon.

Wally Man 3 some story ideas

Catch phrases
These are words Wally loves to say:
“Why won’t you die??!!”
“You thtop chewing my wiwes!” (wires)
“You better fix my wiwes, you wascawwee feathered wodents!”
“Why won’t you die tho I can get on wiff my pwogwam? Die fathter!”
“I’m gonna bwain that thicken wiff a pop bottle!”
“Feth Up you wowwee (lowly) cweature you.”
“Did you pway a pwank on Pwetunia?”

Traps
Wally’s traps for animals make no sense.
He makes a box trap and hits them with it.
He thinks chickens eat baby kittens so he lures Billy with kittens in traps.
Poison
Firecrackers
Drowning

Wally’s Hamburger Garden

Wally’s trained cow plants hamburgers in his garden and the two pesky beasts steal the burgers so Wally has to set traps for them which backfire on him.

Wally’s Chicken Hunt

Wally’s job is stressing him out. He’s a wig salesman at a department store.
Wally takes a hunting vacation to relax. He figures if he causes stress for helpless forest creatures, that will ease his stress.
“There’s nothing more Wewaxing than cauthing thtwess for helpleth fowest Cweatureth!”

There he meets up with Billy Chicken the zaniest creature in the forest.

If I don’t cook Thicken Thoup For Dinner, Mommy Man Will Cook My Gooth!

Wally’s Mom, Mrs. Man, demands chicken soup for dinner so Wally has to catch a couple chickens and bring them home. They don’t cooperate.

WALLY THE METROSEXUAL

My friend Corky just came up with tis idea today:

Wally gets a date with Petnia and she's finally ready to kiss him, when....Yikes!!

She notices something awful about him! His bowtie is droopy and wrinkly. She puts her lips away and tells Wally "I'm sorry Wally, but I only like smooth young boys."

Wally is devastated until he finds an ad for a dermatologist who does peels. Wally goes and gets microdermabrasion-all over!

The doctor dips him into a burning searing chemical soup.

Wally comes out all read and swollen.

There is only one spot left untouched-a light thumbprint above his buttcrack where the doctor held him while dipping him.

He tells Wally that he will shed a few layers of old skin and in 4 days he will be as smooth as a baby's butt. So Wally plans a date with Petunia in 4 days, expecting to be pink and smooth.

On the date, Wally shows up covered in blisters and bloody scabs, with hunks of flesh just falling off of him like potato chips.

We haven't come up with an ending yet, so feel free to create with us.

..here's an extra idea...you know that little 'V' with the line in the middle just above your butt crack? I call that a "butt pussy". Maybe after Wally heals, he finds that his new skin is invulnerable-all except for his Achilles Butt-Pussy and he becomes a super hero and Petunia falls in love with him until some super vilain fins his weakness and punishes the butt pussy, defeating him...

Wally Man 4 - Wally's Girlfriend

Wally, like all men, needs love.

Petunia Man

Petunia is Wally’s girlfriend.
She is bald too except for pigtails on her butt.
She is very temperamental.
One minute she likes Wally and the next he’s done something wrong or offensive but he never knows what he did.
She makes him jump through hoops to please her.
She loves animals and demands that any love of hers better be kind to dumb animals.
Wally has to pretend he likes animals when she’s around. Billy Chicken takes advantage of this by helping himself to Wally’s food, hospitality and love.


Wally’s allergies
Wally is allergic to fur, feathers, beaks, combs and wattles.

Whenever he is near animals he sneezes, breaks out in hives and has asthma attacks. He has a big inhaler that he breathes into to rid his lungs of dander.

Petunia’s Love Test

Wally meets Petunia for the first time and falls in love.
She makes him prove himself before she accepts his love.
He has to prove that he is:
...Hardy

Opening
Billy Chicken is heckling Wally one morning and driving Wally crazy. (Need heckling jokes)
Vision of Beauty
All of a sudden Wally is distracted by a lovely vision of smoothness: Petunia Man.
Love takes: what are they?
Wally loses interest in Billy and goes to meet Petunia. He polishes first.

...Loves Animals
Petunia tells him: ”My man has to be sensitive. He must love all God’s creatures and be kindly and share his fortune with them.

Wally tells Petunia,”Oh I wove dumb animalth! I wove them even more than wiches or fame!”
Billy Chicken overhears Wally’s lie and calls him on it. He rubs around his legs and purrs and helps himself to all of Wally’s material possessions:

Food
TV
Bed

Wally gets Asthma attacks
Every time Wally does anything with Billy, he starts gasping for air and coughing up feathers.
He keeps pulling out a giant inhaler and taking puffs from it in-between trying to pretend to indulge Billy and wanting to hit him.

Billy Misses His Litter Box
Petunia notices something stinky and thinks Wally farted.
Wally is embarrassed.
Petunia says, “That’s a very rude thing to do on our first date Wally Man!” I like to get to know a man first, before I inhale his most private secrets.
Then Wally realizes what happened: Billy crapped on the potato chips.
This is Wally’s chance to discipline his pet!

“For shame you wittle thicken! Did you cwap on the potato chips? Did you?”
Wally’s menacing shadow creeps over Billy as Billy backs against the wall.

Petunia Catches Wally punishing Billy
Wally pushes Billy’s beak towards his dirty deed and spanks his bottom.
Petunia freaks out!
“Wally Man! Are you being cruel to that poor ignorant beast? He’s only following his nature! How dare you! You apologize to your special friend.”
Wally reluctantly apologizes while holding Billy’s beak tightly and pinching him hard.

Humane Society
A huge burly thug from the humane society comes and beats up Wally and brands him an abuser, then leaves.
Then Petunia sees the brand and gets all lovey-dovey, “I love a man with a tattoo”.

Kiss
So now Petunia is ready for romance. She says, “”Well aren’t you gonna kiss me you great big hunk of shiny skin, you?”
Wally takes a huge puff from his asthma inhaler.
Just as he close his eyes and puckers up, Billy plucks a couple feathers and stuffs them up Wally’s nose.

He kisses Petunia. She squeezes him hard.
We see Wally’s nose begin to twitch. He fights it! His eyes start watering.
Billy scratches his comb and chicken dander falls into Wally’s eyes.
The eyes turn red and swell up.
Hives break out all over Wally.

They stop kissing and Petunia opens her eyes softly to gaze at Wally’s twitching face.
She says, “That’s the best kiss I eever…”
“Aaaaathchoooooo!!!” Wally sneezes into her face.
“Well I never!!” says Petunia (covered in slime) who slaps Wally’s face and leaves in a huff. “You’ll never be my boyfriend, you slovenly brute!”

Wally chases Billy
Chasing and puffing on his inhaler as they run off into the distance.

The End

Wally Man Show 2

Wally Man has every speech impediment.

He hates 'pethth' (pests).

Here's a good reason.

Here are some teasers for you:

The Tortoise and the Mammal

Billy Chicken gets the idea that he could win a lot of money by staging a race and dressing up Sammy Beast in a Tortoise suit to race against Wally the higher invertebrate.
He tells Sammy to be sure to lose the race.

He figures Tortoises always win so everyone will bet on the tortoise, so Billy bets on Wally. The odds against Wally are 136 to one so Billy figures he’ll clean up.
Sammy Tortoise cheats to lose.

Wally is so stupid though that he loses the race anyway and the ugly mob of animals that Billy bet against chase him at the end of the cartoon.

Wally is left dumbfounded.

Aladdin’s Lump

Billy Chicken discovers a fleshy protuberance sticking out of the ground and rubs it, thinking that he will summon a magic genie to grant his chicken wishes.
No genie appears but the lump does get shiny which seems promising. He tries wishing upon a shine, but still nothing happens so he gets mad and hits the lump.
A bump appears on the lump and this time he knows he’s on to something.
He rubs the lump and sure enough out pops the enchanted Genie of the Lump.

In the end it turns out that the shiny fleshy lump is the top of Wally’s bald head. He has been buried in dirt for a week.
Everyone laughs as Wally chases Billy and the genie, sputtering dirt out of his impedimented lips.

The Thicken Pwot Thickens (The chicken plot thickens)

Billy and Sammy are cheap thugs that are looting the forest. It is a dark underworld film noir forest.
They are stealing sap from Maple trees, and striking terror throughout the animal kingdom.
Officer Wally Man of the undercover squad tracks them to bring them to justice.
A hard-boiled thriller.

Nathunal Geogwaphic Thtowieth

Wally is watching his favorite show-National Geographic.
He loves to watch nature shows about animals in the wild.
All of a sudden his reception goes haywire.
He goes outside to see what happened and finds wild animals chewing his cable lines and he goes crazy!
Wally tries to rid himself of his pests so he can go back to watching the wonders of nature safe inside his man-made environment.

Calling All Kinds-The Wally Man Show