Catch phrases
These are words Wally loves to say:
“Why won’t you die??!!”
“You thtop chewing my wiwes!” (wires)
“You better fix my wiwes, you wascawwee feathered wodents!”
“Why won’t you die tho I can get on wiff my pwogwam? Die fathter!”
“I’m gonna bwain that thicken wiff a pop bottle!”
“Feth Up you wowwee (lowly) cweature you.”
“Did you pway a pwank on Pwetunia?”
Traps
Wally’s traps for animals make no sense.
He makes a box trap and hits them with it.
He thinks chickens eat baby kittens so he lures Billy with kittens in traps.
Poison
Firecrackers
Drowning
Wally’s job is stressing him out. He’s a wig salesman at a department store.
Wally takes a hunting vacation to relax. He figures if he causes stress for helpless forest creatures, that will ease his stress.
“There’s nothing more Wewaxing than cauthing thtwess for helpleth fowest Cweatureth!”
There he meets up with Billy Chicken the zaniest creature in the forest.
Wally’s Mom, Mrs. Man, demands chicken soup for dinner so Wally has to catch a couple chickens and bring them home. They don’t cooperate.
WALLY THE METROSEXUAL
My friend Corky just came up with tis idea today:
Wally gets a date with Petnia and she's finally ready to kiss him, when....Yikes!!
She notices something awful about him! His bowtie is droopy and wrinkly. She puts her lips away and tells Wally "I'm sorry Wally, but I only like smooth young boys."
Wally is devastated until he finds an ad for a dermatologist who does peels. Wally goes and gets microdermabrasion-all over!
The doctor dips him into a burning searing chemical soup.
Wally comes out all read and swollen.
There is only one spot left untouched-a light thumbprint above his buttcrack where the doctor held him while dipping him.
He tells Wally that he will shed a few layers of old skin and in 4 days he will be as smooth as a baby's butt. So Wally plans a date with Petunia in 4 days, expecting to be pink and smooth.
On the date, Wally shows up covered in blisters and bloody scabs, with hunks of flesh just falling off of him like potato chips.
We haven't come up with an ending yet, so feel free to create with us.
..here's an extra idea...you know that little 'V' with the line in the middle just above your butt crack? I call that a "butt pussy". Maybe after Wally heals, he finds that his new skin is invulnerable-all except for his Achilles Butt-Pussy and he becomes a super hero and Petunia falls in love with him until some super vilain fins his weakness and punishes the butt pussy, defeating him...
