Professor Mole is He Hog's arch enemy. He is a genius. Moles grow on him all the time, in front of our very eyes.
Old ones drop off him from time to time. They follow him everywhere he goes and help him commit unspeakable horrors upon humanity.
Professor Mole is actually a pretty nice guy for someone who causes suffering on such a monumental scale.
He's so ugly that people run from him without even knowing anything about him. They make hasty generalizations about him, which is the worst crime any human can commit. They call him a "hard working blue collar white man", "articulate" "nappy headed" and say he's "lost his bearings". This forces him to retaliate in the most horrific ways, all in the name of protecting our God-Given rights to be offended by words that newscasters waste days of TV time reporting on.
Professor Mole creates a doomsday machine with the intent of destroying all categorizations everywhere. Anyone who says "mammals give milk" is a dead man. It's up to He Hog to stop him and restore humanity and observation to the world.
If He Hog wins, that'll be the end of 24 hour news channels.
