Here's hoping all you curmudgeons have a wonderful Christmas!
If you're lucky, maybe you'll get a nice doll in your stocking like this.
Thanks to Frank for the lovely photos.
We open on a stage with the curtains closed. "PONTIAC PLAYHOUSE" is printed on the curtains:
Narrator: "AND NOW, FROM HOLLYWOOD..."
Warmth From The Pontiac Cast
This’ll be a sincere thank you to the George Liquor audience and a wish for happiness in the coming year for everyone who believes in the American Way and 32 miles to the gallon.
Narrator: "IT'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR, GEORGE LIQUOR HIMSELF!"
The audience applauds wildly.
George: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE PONTIAC PLAYERS!
The curtains open to reveal...
Characters in front of curtain
George, Jimmy, Sody, Slab ‘N’ Ernie, Mabel’s Butt, Donald Bastard and Cigarettes the Cat are standing in front of the curtains on the stage.
They are wearing Christmas stuff.
The Pontiac Vibe is on a tall pedestal in the background. It is bedecked with Christmas ornamentation. Santa is tied to it.
The sponsor stands there with the gang - in a suit, wearing gold rings and smoking a huge cigar. His thumbs are under his lapels and he is beaming with pride.
George: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT PONTIAC, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW ON THE INTERNETS EVERY WEEK.
There is a Christmas Tree
Let’s have a week of peace
George is sweating from putting on such an energetic show.
George does a preamble:
“Listen up here, will ya? I got sumpin' important to say.
This is the season of peace for all mankind. Peace, love and mutual understanding. Let’s all set aside our Goddamn differences and put down our guns for a week. Deal?"
Cut to a cave. Inside are a moose squirrel, raccoon, duck and cockroach watching Pontiac Playhouse on a big computer monitor.
They all breathe a sigh of relief.
George: "Next week we can all go back to killing each other….and I got a list!”
George wishes Audience a Merry Xmas
“So on behalf of our wunerfull sponsor, Pontiac’ Vibe, we’d all like to wish you a Merry Christmas!”
Lawyer Ruins Christmas - Donald Bastard to the rescue
A corporate Lawyer slithers in and whispers to George....
Lawyer: “You can’t say that any more! You have to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so we don’t offend non-Christians!”
George is Outraged, starts screaming at the lawyer
George: "Whattaya mean we can't say Goddamn Merry Christmas anymore? What country do ya think we're in???"
Donald Bastard bites the lawyer on the butt and tears off a piece of fabric.
The cigar chomping sponsor spits out a chunk of cigar and comes between George and the lawyer. He calms them down and suggests a compromise.
Sponsor: "Tell you what, as long as you cover everyone's holidays you can say Merry Christmas."
We pan down the group of characters as each one wishes a happy holiday to a different ethnic group.
Sody: Merry Kwanza!
Donald Bastard: Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Ernie: Jolly Bullies week!
Jimmy : Hug a retard!
Slab: Joyous Suicide Bombers!
The lawyer: Happy Devil Worshippers, folks!
we fade out on ridiculous greetings as we pan up and over to the Pontiac Vibe gleaming with holiday spirit.
Or if you're even luckier...
Thanks to Frank for the lovely photos.
HOW CHRISTMAS COULD HAVE BEEN
Ep09-Good Cheer From Pontiac
We open on a stage with the curtains closed. "PONTIAC PLAYHOUSE" is printed on the curtains:Narrator: "AND NOW, FROM HOLLYWOOD..."
Warmth From The Pontiac Cast
This’ll be a sincere thank you to the George Liquor audience and a wish for happiness in the coming year for everyone who believes in the American Way and 32 miles to the gallon.
Narrator: "IT'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR, GEORGE LIQUOR HIMSELF!"
The audience applauds wildly.
George: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE PONTIAC PLAYERS!The curtains open to reveal...
Characters in front of curtain
George, Jimmy, Sody, Slab ‘N’ Ernie, Mabel’s Butt, Donald Bastard and Cigarettes the Cat are standing in front of the curtains on the stage.
They are wearing Christmas stuff.
The Pontiac Vibe is on a tall pedestal in the background. It is bedecked with Christmas ornamentation. Santa is tied to it.
The sponsor stands there with the gang - in a suit, wearing gold rings and smoking a huge cigar. His thumbs are under his lapels and he is beaming with pride.
George: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT PONTIAC, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW ON THE INTERNETS EVERY WEEK.
There is a Christmas Tree
Let’s have a week of peace
George is sweating from putting on such an energetic show.
George does a preamble:
“Listen up here, will ya? I got sumpin' important to say.
This is the season of peace for all mankind. Peace, love and mutual understanding. Let’s all set aside our Goddamn differences and put down our guns for a week. Deal?"
Cut to a cave. Inside are a moose squirrel, raccoon, duck and cockroach watching Pontiac Playhouse on a big computer monitor.
They all breathe a sigh of relief.George: "Next week we can all go back to killing each other….and I got a list!”
George wishes Audience a Merry Xmas
“So on behalf of our wunerfull sponsor, Pontiac’ Vibe, we’d all like to wish you a Merry Christmas!”
Lawyer Ruins Christmas - Donald Bastard to the rescue
A corporate Lawyer slithers in and whispers to George....
Lawyer: “You can’t say that any more! You have to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so we don’t offend non-Christians!”
George is Outraged, starts screaming at the lawyer
George: "Whattaya mean we can't say Goddamn Merry Christmas anymore? What country do ya think we're in???"
Donald Bastard bites the lawyer on the butt and tears off a piece of fabric.
The cigar chomping sponsor spits out a chunk of cigar and comes between George and the lawyer. He calms them down and suggests a compromise.
Sponsor: "Tell you what, as long as you cover everyone's holidays you can say Merry Christmas."
We pan down the group of characters as each one wishes a happy holiday to a different ethnic group.
Sody: Merry Kwanza!
Donald Bastard: Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Ernie: Jolly Bullies week!
Jimmy : Hug a retard!
Slab: Joyous Suicide Bombers!
The lawyer: Happy Devil Worshippers, folks!
we fade out on ridiculous greetings as we pan up and over to the Pontiac Vibe gleaming with holiday spirit.
Merry Christmas to the troops!
