Thursday, February 18, 2010

Floyd Is The Funniest Barber Alive

After a long day of proving to Stimpy that life is full of misery, Stimpy has had enough of reality. Ren is on him like a blood-starved leech.Stimpy steels himself to talk back to the bug-eyed polyp that is Ren.
"Ok, maybe life DOES suck outside the window, but at least here on my TVland box everything is happy! I'm gonna sit down and watch my favorite program, Floyd of Mayberry!"

Stimpy plops himself down in front of his happy box to watch his show. Every time Floyd mumbles anything or snips another lock of Andy's hair, he giggles and guffaws, rocking back and forth holding his tickly toes. Floyd makes him forget the ugly realities of life. The joy of Floyd wipes his befouled brain clean.Ren waits for the program to end, so he can torment his best friend again. "You believe all that crap, Steempy? Dere's no place like Mayberry. Dat's all seely make-believe poopoo stuffs!"
During the commercial, Ren tries to lecture Stimpy and points his finger at him. Stimpy eats.
CRUNCH!!! "Take that, Ren! How do you like when life sucks?"
After the show is finished, Stimpy turns off the set and wipes his teary eyes from laughing so hard. He gets up and tells Ren, "I don't care if some of life does suck! At least the world has Floyd!!"

Ren approaches Stimpy slowly, with pity in his eyes. He grasps a couple fist fulls of cat fur and leans towards him...

"You poor leetle seelly idiot. Don't you know that Floyd's...
Stimpy clutches his one rapidly pulsing nerve ending.
"No! No! No! You're lying! Liar Liar!!" says Stimpy! Ren tells him. "Eediot! Dun't you know what reruns are??! Dees show is from 1962!""Face up to eet Stimpy....Heeeee's........


Stimpy's world is about to collapse. He looks horrified, but then a small crust of hope enters his poor simpleton brain.

Weakly he stammers, "Ok, maybe Floyd's dead, but at least there's.....F F Fred Mertz!"

to be continued...