Thursday, February 25, 2010

Jimmy's Gifts 2

Jimmy plucks up his loved one. George (playful): "You'll never guess what it iiiiiis!"
He produces a rectangular glob of processed meat. "It's a damn luncheon loaf, lad!
The mysterious loaf bounces on the table.
"That's a dadblasted olive loaf! 'n' it's all fer you! Cut the crap outta that sucker, boy!"
Jimmy wonders what feels so good and George tells him the secret. "That's GOD'S meat, son! Probably has every one of His creatures ground up inside! Christ hisself prob'ly doesn't know who the *%#@!! is in there! Mebbe even some Goddamned Angel Cows!"
They have a moment of silent prayer. Then Jimmy prepares to serve luncheon.
George can't wait to taste every one of God's creatures in one magnificent sparkling all-American loaf.
The loaf offers no resistance as Jimmy slices lunch up in a mad frenzy with his unspoiled virgin blade.

to be continued...with apologies to Danny Antonucci
just in case you thought I made this up...I actually had to eat this stuff at lunch when I was a kid! It induced instant puke every time.
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