Big Thank You to March Contributors- And How To Write Dialogue

Read this out loud and see if you can make it sound natural.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to the blog as of Mar 30 08...

Benjamin Hernandez

John Faso

Blorch! Studios

Tim Maloney

Matthew Glenn Nunnery

Anthony Rizzo

I took all your cash and bought my sick chihuahua a warm sweater, so Killer thanks you too!


I found an old page of notes (from 1994) with tips to my storyboard artists on how to write natural sounding dialogue. It's your reward for contributing. I hope it's helpful:

DIALOGUE

The first thing a dialogue writer needs to know is that people do not speak the way a writer writes. Especially a cartoon writer.

Dialogue should sound natural, off the cuff, spontaneous.

It should be structured but it shouldn't sound structured, or deliberate.

It should be poetic, not in a rhyming sense, but in a lyrical, flowing sense.

Know your characters.

This doesn't mean that certain characters always say certain things; don't substitute catch phrases for personality.

Be aware of context - how the characters feel at this moment.

Suggested approaches:

(There is no right way to write dialogue.)

1. Structured Approach:

Figure out what a character needs to say in the story context, structure it for the story's purpose, then rewrite it in the character's words.

2. Empathic Approach

Be the characters: put yourself in the scene. Turn the lights out except for a desk lamp.

Know who the characters are and how they express themselves. Know the situation that the characters are in. Know their specific motivations and feelings at this moment in the story.

Now act. Live the scene. Spontaneously, free-form; just act the scene out loud.
Walk around the room, loosen up.

Improvise the dialogue. Just say your character's feelings as they gush out of you.
Have an assistant take notes.

Don't worry if all your lines don't connect perfectly or smoothly.

You are looking for inspirations.

*This is a good method for artists too.

If you are a S.B. or L.O. artist, Director or comic artist, act it out a few times to get used to it.

After you finish, have an assistant type up notes, categorize your ideas and directions, give them headings.

You edit, arrange, and smooth out, fill in gaps, connect ideas, and write your scene.
This is the better method for writing dialogue. You will find more surprises. Your dialogue will sound more natural and spontaneous.

*There is no perfect, calculated way to write good dialogue. Of all the elements of writing for the screen, writing, dialogue is the one that most closely resembles art.

This requires feeling as well as skill.

Good dialogue does more than just tell the story, it sounds good, it is aesthetically pleasing just for what it is.

CONSIDER THE ACTORS!

Good dialogue must be easy to read. A director always knows if a line or passage of dialogue is not working when the voice actor repeatedly stumbles through the line. This has happened to me many times. A writer (including me) will write a line that is just too long and the actor can't get enough breath to get it out. Or the words just don't flow easily together;they aren't musical, so the actor keeps getting tongue-tied.

To write good dialogue, you should have some experience reading dialogue, so you have empathy for the actors.

This is what's wrong with today's cartoon writers; they have no experience doing any of the things they are demanding of the actual creative people, so what they write simply doesn't work and everyone wants to kill them.

So...test your dialogue before you hand it in. Read it out loud. Is it smooth?

Ask someone else to read it out loud.

Dialogue is perhaps the hardest part of the cartoon writing process. Writers with a natural feel for dialogue are rare. I've worked with lots of funny people, or people who are good with structure and story ideas, but usually end up rewriting much of the dialogue myself.

With that said, it is also the most creatively rewarding part of the process of putting words together. The characters' dialogue are the only words that the audience or reader will ever hear or read of the writer's work. These words can directly affect the audience, can make it believe that the story is really happening.

Again: The audience will never hear your descriptions of plot or action, so use as few words as possible there and be strictly matter of fact and instructional:

Ren does this.

Then Stimpy does that.

Then this happens.

Then Stimpy says (looking deep into his own soul with extreme sincerity, religious resolve):

"I know now what I must do! I must use my gift of invention....to save Ren"

Put your creativity into the dialogue. That will actually be heard.

And make it sound natural - even though it has dramatic purpose hidden under the faked spontaneity.

Famous Cartoonists line of Pencil Toppers

Who wants an Eddie to stab your pencil into?








Legend has it that if you have a famous cartoonist impaled on your pencil, you will suck out some of his creative spirit and you will draw much better.

Look What Hryma Made

http://hryma.blogspot.com/

Japan Toys are smart

Kali let me in on A secret the cartoonist girls seem to know. Japan makes the most interesting and fun toys. Here's a kind she just showed me.
They make little tiny characters with stumpy armS and legs (when they have legs)

and the key is they make tons of them, so they are collectible. Part of the fun is that they look like little funny crips.
Disney has hopped on the bandwagon too. I think it's a good idea. They are even allowing the toys to be off model.
They give them a nice Jap feel.
Kali suggested :"I think it would be keen if you made Spumco toys in the stubby small style" and I agreed.

So I'm on it.
Would you buy these if you saw them in a gum ball machine?

How about a line of stubby cartoonists?
These were also featured in a monumental post on Kali's blog.

http://kalikazoo.blogspot.com/2008/03/not-quite-dead.html

Go check out her million latest crazy and creative doodles and studies!

Hyrma took a shot at it. Pretty nice!

What Is It

Ever try to do a caricature of someone for the first time, just from memory? It's a real test of your observational skills. I tried to do Anderson Cooper, then I watched 360 last night to see what I missed. I kinda missed his expression,. He seems like a smart guy when you hear his questions, but he has this sort of stunned look, like he's not sure who put the suit on him and that is hard to capture. I'll work on it.

Don Martin - department store 2, The Genius of "Ignorant Humor"

Every so often I read someone’s decree that cartoons have to be “believable” and I think to myself, “Wow, this person really just doesn’t get what cartoons are”. You get a lot of theories like that from executives who would never be caught dead even watching cartoons on their own if their jobs didn’t force them to.

My own idea of what cartoons do is to make the unbelievable believable, which requires great talent and skill. Not all cartoonists are equally gifted in this area.
My pal Eddie has a term he uses when he likes something funny. He calls it “Ignorant Humor”. I think that’s a funny term too, but hope he never uses it in front of a layman or cartoon executive, because it might give the impression that cartoons are stupid and easy to do.
I hope I am not misinterpreting your term, Eddie. Feel free to add your complete definition in the comments! I’d love to make an elaborate post of it.
I think by “ignorant” he means “low-brow” - the category that includes Tex Avery, Mad Magazine, The 3 Stooges but for some reason often excludes Charlie Chaplin, The Marx Bros. and Laurel and Hardy and Frank Miller.
Many critics thumb their snooty noses at pure comedy or “ignorant humor”. Why is that? Because the pure comics don’t contaminate the ice cream with pathos, heavy seriousness or important issues?
The top ignorant comics like the 3 Stooges, Jerry Lewis and Don Martin are actually extremely intelligent.

It takes a lot of not only talent and skill, but intelligent sophisticated planning to pull the audience along a trail of completely preposterous events and logic.

These top humorists are among humanity’s greatest heroes, because they take us away from all the ugly things in life for a few minutes and let us cleanse away worldly poisons with laughter.
The sophistication in what Eddie calls “Ignorant comedy” and could also be called “generous comedy” lies not merely in the content itself but in the execution of it. The staging, he structure, the momentum, the acting, the sincerity, the performances, the creative invention, the pure joy of craziness.

If “Ignorant Humor” were truly ignorant, then everybody could make Tex Avery cartoons, Don Martin comics and 3 Stooges shorts. On the other hand just about anybody can criticize them. That doesn't take much intelligence. Luckily, most people just enjoy the fruits of their genius.


more of Don Martin's Department Store to come.

Mike Fontanelli's Latest Amusements

The artist who sculpted this Kangaroo was a genius! He must have been a disney artist or something.


Proof of evolution.
They don't make Indians this fun anymore.



There's something about a toy in a bag that makes the toy that much more appealing.
It's even more appealing when it's upside down in a bag. "Upside Down Cartoon Friend In a Bag". It should say that on the cardboard strip.

Yancy's Surprise

Someone named Yancy sent me these pics to impress me and it really does!
George Liquor is a hard enough to draw, let alone sculpt.
She even caught the backwards slope of the top of his head.
She captured the asymmetrical organic stuff I like too.

Rocky and Bullwinkle Step By Step

The difference between a thoughtful cartoonist and a random cartoonist is that the thoughtful one organizes all the elements that make up his drawings into a whole. He is thinking clarity of design, functionality and then an appealing arrangement of the shapes. Style happens only as an afterthought. After the important drawing and design principles have been covered.


An inexperienced and unskilled cartoonist thinks of the individual pieces and his personal style and ends up with a cluttered, disconnected uncontrolled random image.

The drawings from the first episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle are skilled organized images that display most of the classic cartoon principles. On the surface, you may look at them and think, "Oh! That's that 'UPA style' where everything is simple, designy and flat!"

Based upon that superficial observation you might then decide whether you like it or not. People who don't like things to look too simple will think "Oh that's easy to do. There are hardly any details."

this has a lot of details and some reasonable drawing skill, but no design or organization of the total image. Too many details can make an image hard to read and not have a point of view.

People who love UPA because it is superficially simple will think. "What genius! There are hardly any details!"

1) LINE OF ACTION

AND OPPOSING LINES OF ACTION.

Cartoonists use lines of action to express characters' attitude through the body. A line of action is even more primordial than a skeleton. Once you have decided on your line of action, then you form your character along that path.

When you have 2 characters together you need to balance each of their body attitudes together so that:

1) They read clearly
2) that we know the difference between them, either as characters in general or their individual attitudes at the moment
3) They create an appealing or aesthetic balance.

http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/11/composition-7-compose-your-poses.html

I picked this image because it has a very simple pair of lines of actions, just to make this point clear.

Here is an image with no thought to lines of action, let alone opposing ones.
Here is an image with a nonsensical attempt at line of action:

I see young artists do this all the time. They put a curve in the body, thinking they are drawing a line of action.
Line of action is a tool that points your character in a direction. It has to have balance and go somewhere-forward backward, etc.

This drawing has no direction or attitude. It is merely bent. Bullwinkle's huge head in this position would cause him to fall backwards. It's a very awkward uncontrolled drawing.

2 Proportions

Proportions do a lot to help or hurt your drawings. Even proportions tend to look generic and bland. Odd proportions are more interesting.

http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/06/animation-school-8-proportions-affect.html

Bullwinkle has very unique proportions. He has an extra long torso and tiny skinny legs.
His skull is much smaller than his muzzle.

Even the structure of his torso has uneven proportions. The chest area is shorter than his belly.

Bullwinkle's proportions contrast strongly against Rocky's more even "cute" proportions.

Here is a drawing that doesn't use Bullwinkle's contrasted uneven proportions:

Hi muzzle is more nearly the size of his skull. The body is the same size as his head. His body is not as skinny as the god drawing we are discussing. All contrasts have been dulled down.

3 Construction and Negative Shapes- Bullwinkle

I combined these 2 concepts because I couldn't figure out how to separate them.

Bullwinkle has sensible construction in the basic shapes that form him. As I was putting together these shapes, I had to look at the relationship between each shape and the next.

Negative shapes:
I do this by looking at the shapes of the spaces between them. These empty spaces are every bit as important as the filled spaces.

The empty spaces help us see the forms. Unskilled artists tend to have cluttered drawings. What makes them cluttered? There are no spaces- or no planned spaces.

The spaces should have appealing shapes too.

Note the thought in this drawing-not every part of the filled structures have the same amount odd spaces between them.

The arm on the left is close to Bullwinkle's side, while the arm on the right is much more in the clear where you can see it. The artist wants you to see that arm. It is waving. If the other arm also had the same amount of large space between it and the body, then it would compete for attention with the right arm.

Here is a picture made by someone not conscious of the usefulness and appeal of negative shapes:


Construction: Parts of Bullwinkle that in the finished drawing are made up of smaller parts are well organized. They fit within the larger forms.

His Antlers have a very definite overall shape. They aren't just wiggly lines. The negative shape in between them helps define their overall shape.

Unlike these:

Fingers are part of the hand shape. The hand flows out of the arm.
Rocky's proportions are more even than Bullwinkle's but not totally even. He is a bit more than 2 heads high. His design lies more in his details than in his form, but that's for the next post...


Note that Rocky's construction flows along his line of action. I have seen many artists start out with a line of action, but then lose it when they plop the construction on top of it. It happens all the time.

How did this artist avoid that problem? Compare the left side of Rocky's body to the right side. The right side puffs out more. It is a convex curve. The line on the other side is straighter. It doesn't puff out. This makes Rocky appear to have his chest coming towards us.

I am always harping on my artists not to add big lumpy details that break up the silhouettes and lines of action in their drawings. Your final drawings should have clarity of direction and attitude, and too many lumps and details that stick out of the silhouette eat those concepts up.



Raff here missed that subtlety - as many artists do. But now that I've explained it, I'm sure he will get it on his next try, and be a much richer man for it!




SO WHERE DOES STYLE COME IN?

I'll explain that in the next post. I'll also add the details of the characters and show how the they follow same principles that I discussed here.

Style is the last element of a good drawing. If your drawing doesn't have all these other principles in it, then it won't have style. It will just be a jumble of mistakes.

Pete Emslie and I discuss Rocky and Stylization

Hi John,

Originally I was going to post this in your comments section. However, I'm wondering whether you might be interested in posting it as a topic and responding with your own ideas on this subject. Let me know if if that would work, otherwise I'll just post it in the comments section as I'd originally planned, wordy though it may be! :)

Pete

Hi John,

I'm going to play devil's advocate a bit here and say that, although I understand your reasons for liking these "Rocky and Bullwinkle" screen shots, I'm wondering how you'd feel about them if they were the work of animation students in a Character Design school assignment. For the record, this is the type of situation that comes up constantly in my own college course on Character Design and I'm often at odds as to how to deal with it. As you know, I share your high regard for the solid construction principles of Preston Blair, and place a strong emphasis on students learning and applying those principles. Because of that, I have to hold up good structure as one of the main criteria by which I grade their assignments. In the second semester I do allow one assignment where they may explore a less dimensional, more graphic approach if they choose to, but I do so with some reservation and expect them to still convince me of how the character will animate from pose to pose and from front view to profile.

You've used the term "wonky" to aptly describe amateurish, awkward character drawing and design, but I'm not sure how one would distinguish "wonky" from good drawing that takes great liberties with proportion and structure, in any manner other than intuitive. As a longtime professional cartoonist, you certainly know in your gut when something is good rather than awkward, but how would you back up that artistic judgment call with solid reasoning in the form of a written assessment of a student's work? I believe that these drawings of Bullwinkle work within the context of the entire scene of animation, yet I am not sure how I might respond to them if taken out of context as individual and inconsistent poses on a student's model sheet assignment. Even if my gut instinct tells me that they really have something, how can I give that student a better grade despite the inconsistencies, while trying to explain to another student why he received a lesser grade for work that may have similar flaws but lacks something that is, quite frankly, intangible, being subject only to my intuition and personal taste?

I hope you'll understand and appreciate this dilemma, as I suspect it is one that all art and animation instructors have fretted over many times in their career. Alas, art is not cut and dried like math or science, where there are clear right or wrong answers. Though one tries to be as open-minded and objective as possible, when it comes right down to it, it is a subjective judgment call on the part of every instructor. As such, unless we set certain parameters and criteria by which to measure a student's work, it makes it tougher when we're later held accountable for our decisions and resulting grades.

Pete Emslie

=



Hi Pete

good letter.

These Rocky and Bullwinkle drawings are only slightly off kilter.

They still have basic sensible construction. The details wrap around the larger forms and are very slightly skewed - unlike modern design where none of the shapes that make up a character are related to each other. Each element just floats independently from the others.

That's what I call "wonky" - like that new "George Of The Jungle" which is anarchic drawing. Every shape just goes in arbitrary directions with no overall form or position, and no composition within the frame at all

They (the Rocky and Bullwinkle frames) all have great clarity of staging

great use of negative shapes

Line of Action

Opposing poses (characters balanced against each other naturally)

design balance - curves against straights, empty space VS filled space

Contrasts

Variety of shapes and forms and textures

Appeal, cuteness

Funny looking

They have a lot of what we like about Hirschfeld

As far as consistency of model, I am completely opposed to that anyway. I find on model to be bland and boring (at least in the modern definition of "on-model")

Chuck Jones sure played with the models from pose to pose in his cartoons, and I think you like those

Now as far as students go, I would not allow them to draw style and would never encourage them to design their own characters

That's where the problems happen

they get too tied-up in trying to be individuals when they don't know anything yet
You can't design something while you are trying to learn how to move something. Move something that is already built for movement by a professional-animate Mickey Mouse or Elmer Fudd, something simple that actually is built to move in 3-dimensional space

They should learn to draw, learn to animate all the basic principles

that is way more important than style, and you can't have a style if you have no knowledge or skill

all the stylish cartoons that are worshipped by animation students were animated and designed by classic animators. Toot Whistle Plunk and Boom, Mars and Beyond, Gerald McBoingBoing etc. They all use most of the classic principles and just shake up one or 2 aspects to make a graphic statement

I would take these types of drawings (Bullwinkle, UPA, Hirschfeld) and show how all the principles are there.

Maybe if I get time, I will do a post like that

I hesitate anymore to post too many modern drawings next to classic drawings. When you see the 2 juxtaposed, the differences between anarchy and control and thought become obvious

but then the flame wars and hate starts

I somtimes think I should have 2 blogs-one for basic concepts and principles that are viewable to everyone

and then another for more sophisticated concepts that only accomplished artists can view.

When I get past basic stuff and into more complex theories and principles, everyone goes crazy

"How dare you not like Family Guy! It's supposed to be ugly!"

etc.

so I am going to tone down my comparisons from now on and just show what I like. Unfortunately some understanding suffers from the lack of comparison between good and bad

George Liquor Pilot Sketches

Here's the whole story:

Pontiac Vibe Presents The George Liquor Program

Title Sequence
In an animated title sequence we see George in his Vibe leaving the office (his Liquor Store) He travels across town and stops to pick up the family and head off to do his various George Liquor activities:

He picks up Slab N Ernie from school. Picks up Jimmy the Idiot boy from the Idiot farm.
We see George's car parked in front of Victor Lugnuts' Meat Market. Victor is grinding up a live cow for George. He wraps it in brown paper.

George drives up to his house and jumps out of the car, followed by the kids.
His neighbor is waiting for him on the lawn, looking pissed about who knows what. George punches him and knocks him down
The kids jump out of the car.


We wipe the scene to the back yard and George is wearing his cooling apron and chef's hat as he barbecues up huge hamburgers for the family.

A narrator shouts in a booming baritone

”Pontiac Vibe Presents!”
The George Liquor Program!
George turns to camera and takes a big bite out of his burger. With his mouth full he shouts: “The only Goddamn decent family show on the Internets!”


Episode 1: Evil-ootion
In The House
Slab N Ernie
HOMEWORK VS CARTOONS- WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOU?

George marches past Slab 'N' Ernie's bedroom. The door is closed.
George yells at the kids in their room “You kids doin' your homework?”
Slab 'N' Ernie in unison: “Yessir Unca George!”

George walks past the room and plops a stump down on the rug in the den. He sits on it and grinds his butt into a comfortable position.
Slab N Ernie Try to sneak out to watch cartoons
Cut to hallway as Slab 'N' Ernie open the door a crack and peer around.
Slab: “I'm tired of doing homework Ern. Let's watch cartoons instead.”
Ernie smacks Slab: “Shuttup, punkass! You want Uncle George to hear us?”

George catches them trying to sneak out of the bedroom and gives them a lecture about homework and discipline.

George: “Hey you kids! You know the Goddamn rules! No Cartoony Pictures until you finish yer homework!”

The kids moan and go back to their homework.

“These kids today don't understand the value of discipline!”

Cut to Slab N Ernie leaning over a big fat science book. Their brows strain as they try to absorb the knowledge.

George leans in and peers over their shoulders. "Watcha studyin' anyway?"

EVOLUTION

Slab tells George" We're learnin' 'bout EVOLUTION, Unca George!"

"What the Hell is EVIL-Lootion?"

Ernie explains: “It's a theory that says we're all related to apes and monkeys.”

"WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?" George explodes with rage and disbelief. "Lemme see that book!!"

He opens it to a double page spread of an illustration of animals evolving.

We see a duck crawling out of the sea evolving into a crawfish, then a springbok and a crocodile, then a flying kangaroo, an ape in a tree and then finally George in a loin cloth. All the animals have George's face.

“What the Hell are they teaching kids these days?!!”

George tosses the book into the fireplace and says "Forget your homework. Let's watch some all-American Cartoony -Type Pictures kids!"

“Yaaaay”

The scene wipes away to the rec room downstairs.
Cartoony Type Pictures

The kids are sitting on the couch in front of TV trays as George walks in with TV dinners for them.

George doesn't really get cartoons. He's too old and forgets what fantasy is all about.

The kids are watching the cartoons and laughing.

George stares at the TV and only sees abstract colorful shapes morphing around the screen. He squints hard.

"What the Hell is a cartoon anyway? Just a bunch of flying colors and crazy voices?"

George can never remember the names of cartoon characters.

George: “Look at that funny guy. What's his name, 'Woody Longpecker'? That's your favorite isn't it son? I like the other guy, what the hell is his name... 'Buzz Bunghole', the mean one. What's that pecker guy doin'? He's always poking around in Buzz Bunghole's business. That's some funny crap for sure.

The kids keep telling him to shut up. They feel every emotion in the cartoons and George is dumbfounded.
IMITATE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE CARTOONS

After the cartoon is over, George decides "At least that's a lot better than the crap they teach you in schools these days!

Tell you what. Go outside and do everything you see in the cartoonies!"

The kids go outside and jump off roofs and blow each other up with firecrackers and end up in the hospital.

George is visiting. "Well now you've learned something!"

In The Hospital


Slab 'N' Ernie are bandaged up in their twin hospital beds. George peers at them smiling.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes Unca George!!!” the kids shout.

George: “Great! Pain lets you know you're alive!”

He tears out their I.V. s

Cut to George driving in his Vibe


Cut to a clock on the wall. Time passes.

Now George is looking at Slab N Ernie with contempt. He thinks they've had enough “rest”.

They are lying in their hospital gurneys with compound fractures, misplaced eyeballs, and still smoking firerworks protruding from their bodies

GEORGE: Whaddya gonna do, just lay there all day and scab up? Suck it up boys! Be real men!

George unplugs their life support machine and drags them into the parking lot.

VIBE INTEGRATION SEQUENCE (not working yet)

He throws them, gurneys and all, into the spacious back of the Vibe.

GEORGE: There's a lot to do. It's a big fat world out there!

He plugs the life support machine into the Vibe's power outlet and takes off.

They are barreling down the highway in the Vibe singing “It's a Big Fat World”

As they fly around in the car, the boys are joyously singing, even though they're propped up in full body casts. They're all wired up in traction and their limbs bash everywhere.

We intercut driving and singing sequences with George encouraging the boys to “live life”.

“Get your hands dirty!” They cut down trees. Ernie fumbles with a chainsaw.

“Learn an instrument” George blows a tuba and phlegm onto Slab's face.

“Fall in love…no touching ya raging hormone!” He smashes Ernie's already broken fingers away from a pretty girls hand.

More singing and driving. “It's a Big Fat World”

Then, they wave goodbye to the TV audience. "G'bye folks! See you next time! Ya bunch of commies!"

Rocky and Bullwinkle Cartoon Science Coming

Later, I will:
1) break this down step by step
2) Add Details
3) Explain how to add style using cartoon license

Need toy sculptors

Hey folks. I'm making some toys again and will need some good cartoony sculptors. Preferably in the LA area.



This is the kind of style. If you are into this cartoony stuff and want some work doing really fun toys, let me know in the comments. Put a link to your samples if you have them on a site.
I'm working with a couple of good sculptors now, but we are expanding and will need more.

Cindy, Jim or anyone else who has already done sculpts for me and if you need some work, let me know.

BG Styles Compared

ATTACK OF THE PURPLE REMASTERS

It's hard to talk about color choices in old cartoons anymore, because evil remastering engineers like to change all the colors.

They seem to be particularly fond of purple and pour it all over the cartoons.

TRANSYLVANIA 6500 1963

I like these BGs a lot, even though I suspect the colors are completely different than they are on film. I have early transfers of this that are bright and clean but very different colors.

It's not like the old transfers are just faded. It looks like on some cartoons, they now change all the colors in the scenes one by one, not just pump up the whole image.