Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas


Here's hoping all you curmudgeons have a wonderful Christmas!



If you're lucky, maybe you'll get a nice doll in your stocking like this.




Or if you're even luckier...

Thanks to Frank for the lovely photos.



HOW CHRISTMAS COULD HAVE BEEN
Ep09-Good Cheer From Pontiac
We open on a stage with the curtains closed. "PONTIAC PLAYHOUSE" is printed on the curtains:

Narrator: "AND NOW, FROM HOLLYWOOD..."

Warmth From The Pontiac Cast

This’ll be a sincere thank you to the George Liquor audience and a wish for happiness in the coming year for everyone who believes in the American Way and 32 miles to the gallon.


Narrator: "IT'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR, GEORGE LIQUOR HIMSELF!"
The audience applauds wildly.George: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE PONTIAC PLAYERS!

The curtains open to reveal...

Characters in front of curtain

George, Jimmy, Sody, Slab ‘N’ Ernie, Mabel’s Butt, Donald Bastard and Cigarettes the Cat are standing in front of the curtains on the stage.
They are wearing Christmas stuff.

The Pontiac Vibe is on a tall pedestal in the background. It is bedecked with Christmas ornamentation. Santa is tied to it.

The sponsor stands there with the gang - in a suit, wearing gold rings and smoking a huge cigar. His thumbs are under his lapels and he is beaming with pride.

George: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT PONTIAC, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW ON THE INTERNETS EVERY WEEK.

There is a Christmas Tree

Let’s have a week of peace

George is sweating from putting on such an energetic show.
George does a preamble:


“Listen up here, will ya? I got sumpin' important to say.

This is the season of peace for all mankind. Peace, love and mutual understanding. Let’s all set aside our Goddamn differences and put down our guns for a week. Deal?"

Cut to a cave. Inside are a moose squirrel, raccoon, duck and cockroach watching Pontiac Playhouse on a big computer monitor.
They all breathe a sigh of relief.

George: "Next week we can all go back to killing each other….and I got a list!”


George wishes Audience a Merry Xmas

“So on behalf of our wunerfull sponsor, Pontiac’ Vibe, we’d all like to wish you a Merry Christmas!”


Lawyer Ruins Christmas - Donald Bastard to the rescue

A corporate Lawyer slithers in and whispers to George....

Lawyer: “You can’t say that any more! You have to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so we don’t offend non-Christians!”

George is Outraged, starts screaming at the lawyer

George: "Whattaya mean we can't say Goddamn Merry Christmas anymore? What country do ya think we're in???"

Donald Bastard bites the lawyer on the butt and tears off a piece of fabric.

The cigar chomping sponsor spits out a chunk of cigar and comes between George and the lawyer. He calms them down and suggests a compromise.

Sponsor: "Tell you what, as long as you cover everyone's holidays you can say Merry Christmas."

We pan down the group of characters as each one wishes a happy holiday to a different ethnic group.


Sody: Merry Kwanza!
Donald Bastard: Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Ernie: Jolly Bullies week!
Jimmy : Hug a retard!
Slab: Joyous Suicide Bombers!
The lawyer: Happy Devil Worshippers, folks!

we fade out on ridiculous greetings as we pan up and over to the Pontiac Vibe gleaming with holiday spirit.

Merry Christmas to the troops!

39 comments:

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Wow! You really know how to celebrate!!!!! Thanks for the great blog posts all year, and....

MEEEEERRRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

David Germain said...

It's about time you made fu of the war on terror. It would have been great if you could have incorporated that guy with the bomb on his head from Clampett's Ali Baba Bound.

Anyway, Merriest of Christmases to you, John. That George Liquor episode looks like it could be entertaining.

Frank Macchia said...

Merry Christmas to you too John.

have a good one.

akira said...

merry christmas! don't tell me the pontiac vibe cartoons are cancelled!!??? maybe you can get a job making cartoons for the new world order.. they seem to have no problem scrounging up money to pay for whatever they want!

Jorge Garrido said...

This show looks absolutely amazing. That picture of Ren & Stimpy kicking Al Qaeda's ass is awesome, I see some dirty subliminal shapes in that camel's face, I'll tell you that much! You're a genius. Merry $#%#$^ Christmas! This is the best blog on the internet. You and Eddie are tied. Cartoon Brew is in second place, but only because Amid thinks 90% of my comments are unprintable.

Hey, John, you should have George wish the atheists a Merry Nothingnessmas. It'd make Stephen Colbert happy.

Gabreleiros said...

Hi John ! Merry christmas to you man! Im Gabriel from Venezuela I wanna tell you something! Thanks for your posts! the are really good! really educative and I love it. (sorry for my english)

SoleilSmile said...

Merry Christmas, Diwali, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Night Chant, Hanukkah, Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, and Sankranti, John.

Nico said...

Sad about the George Liquor show. :(

But it's XMAS DAY either way, so have a good one John!!!

oppo said...

How can you wish a happy Fifth of May in December?

Ren And Stimpy in the Miltary? Well, don't ask, don't tell...

oppo said...

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

The Butcher said...

If someone made a Sody real doll, I would never date, work, or do anything ever again. I would move into a cardboard box and have sex with it day and night.

Seriously needs to happen.

mdouglas said...

Merry Christmas too you as well! Thanks for all the kick arse lessons this year and to many more!

Alain-Christian said...

Merry Holiday.

That girl in the box was awesome.

/\/\ikeB said...

Those cartoons rock. Thanks so much for them,
and Merry Christmas.

MLP said...

And a Merry Christmas to you, too! THANKS for the presents! Donald Bastard rules!

Zoran Taylor said...

General Motors, eh? I....think I'm beginning to see why this didn't quite work out. Oh well - HAPPY YAK SHAVING DAY, EVERYONE!!!

lastangelman said...

Pontiac? They still make those? My grandpa' used to tell 'bout those things but I never t'ought I'd ever see one ... well it looks like someone went to a lotta' trouble ... I'll go down to the GM dealer and check 'em out ...Merry Christmas everbody (I certainly do love them jingle bells on Sody!)

Sherm said...

What a great treat! There's something so beautiful about your feverishly-drawn cartoons and their gloppy ball-point pen strokes on plain high-school notebook paper. Like: "F-this...I can draw great cartoons on toilet paper!"

Thanks for all the amazing inspiration this year! Happy 2009 ^_^

Nicolas Martinez said...

Merry Christmas, John!

The Donald Bastard card looks great, and the Ren and Stimpy card reminded me of Private Snafu.

nktoons said...

Merry Christmas John, I have been reading your blog for about a year. It is entertaining, instructive, and most of all inspiring. You have opened my eyes to the full potential of animation and drawing. I have learned a lot from your blog, and thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. It is great that you are sharing your knowledge and time. THANK YOU!!!! Happy Holidays and god bless.

ArtF said...

have a Merry Christmas John!

thanks for everything you've done.

Ukulele Moon said...

Thank you for all the wonderful posts ... we fans are incredibly fortunate.

I hope you had a great Christmas!!!

P.S. If you're willing to part with that incredible Ren and Stimpy drawing, please let me know!

David said...

Merry Christmas to you, John!

here is my christmas card!

I love that Sody Pop doll! Can't wait to buy it!

Too bad that christmas episode of George isn't ready this year, hopefully next year!

Your pal,

David

HemlockMan said...

I like the lawyer.

Elana Pritchard said...

Merry Christmas Teacher-Sensei!

J.R. Spumkin said...

Wait...the George Liquor shorts didn't happen?

What the f#!k happened?

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

Merry Christmas Mr. K! Thanks for years of wonderful stuff!

Josh Heisie

PS: My Grandpa says: "You can't even say Merry Christmas anymore...you'll offend some terrorist!" I thought you'd appreciate that.

James Sugrue said...

That Ren and Stimpy picture is sweet. It would be cool to see some propaganda cartoons about Al Queda.

vhpayes said...

Thanks for all your posts, Merry Christmas. My favorites are when you post your drawings... and caricatures. Very inspiring.

Scandy Tangerine Man said...

Merry Christmas to you and all yours, John!
The level of insight, instruction, art work, and just the all around pieces of yourself that you share is amazing and very much appreciated.

All the best to you in '09!!
Ya fairy. ;)

Kali Fontecchio said...

Oh yes, Donald Bastard is mine. YAY!

Whit said...

Right after GM asked you to do those Pontiac Vibe commercials, they relegated the entire Pontiac brand to boutique status. And Bush rewards this kind of management with a bailout. Jesus will come back just to piss on them.

TYBova said...

I hope you had a terrific Christmas. I enjoy checking out your blog postings, it great to see what you are up to.
My son is studying Classical Animation at VFS this year.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Ottawa!
TheresaB

John A said...

Merry Christmas John, Your Christmas message to our troops should be displayed on every military base around the world. As a vet myself, I really appreciate it. It almost makes up for you being Canadian.

Deniseletter said...

That's creativity with social topics and appealing in a funny way until the end!!Thanks for all this educative,unusual and great posts!!
Merry Christmas to you too John!!!

tyler lewis-goshen said...

yes yes yes

RodTramonte said...

It´s curious how the evil lawyer looks a friggin´ lot like Dishonest John ;-)

NateBear said...

Man the George Liquor Xmas special isn't the same without the Easter eggs. Butt alas! The bare Sody sculpture more than makes up for it!

Jake the Animator said...

This is a great image! How come no other modern cartoon stars are fighting terrorism? "any boonnnds today!"