Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Prof Dagwood on The Nature Of Things

No one is better suited to explain the complex processes of nature to the vulgar masses than Dagwood - with some help from his intelligent assistants.

Step one of the demonstration is to mix up a batch of active protoplasmic goo using nature's own chemical recipe.
Stirring the goo brew is sure to result in excited Neutron Bullets.
Dagwood can't make up his mind about who stirs the atomic juices better - a wife, or his team of attractive rubber-coated dog clones.
Like all brilliant scientists, Dagwood has to deal with filthy capitalist corporate princes who use his atomic inventions for frivolous and environmentally disastrous purposes.
Here's how it all works - for you, the layman kid who is intensely interested in sub-atomic physics. Put down your violent video games, turn off your rap cd for a minute and have some real fun.

Dagwood's discoveries win him the coveted Nobel Peace Pup, which he quickly marries and takes home to continue his zany adventures in defying nature's laws.
God tries to warn him.
Dagwood creates a race of living heads sustained by tiny edible dogs.
How the renowned scientist collects more raw material.
Oh those wacky eccentric scientists.
Dutiful and patient human-wife Blondie shares a moment of lunch and levitation with her curious mate.
But - "Don't leave your steaming primordial goo in the fridge with the family foodstuffs!" smacks an outraged Blondie.

Dagwood's unGodly experiments have led to another mutant monstrocity.

Average decent Tea Partiers do not approve of the intellectually gifted and their dirty non-comformist ways.