Friday, June 06, 2008


Which one is evil?

Remember your evil aunt or uncle who would give you socks and underwear for Christmas instead of a toy? What causes someone to do such an awful thing?
There is a certain type of human that doesn't understand kids and fun. The same kind of problem applies to coloring books.
Here is a great one from the 40s. It looks like a Clampett cartoon. Porky even has an ass-head! Whoever made this book understands kids.

When I was a kid, I would only color in coloring books that starred cartoon characters. Any other kind of coloring book was a lie, created by monsters who hated kids.

I especially loved the coloring books that had beautifully painted covers, as these would inspire us to color carefully within the lines and have high standards in all things in life.
This kid grew up to become an animation critic, because he couldn't quite cut it.

BOB MCKIMSON COLORING BOOK!Who wouldn't want a coloring book filled with drawings by an actual star animator!

But then....there came the ugliest of inventions: MAN coloring books!
This kind of thing had to be invented by the same weirdo who gave kids socks and underwear and called them presents. "Here kids! Color your Dad!"Color the Man and his hairy baby.
Color seed of Man.
Here's fish with man face to color.
Here is man with Mammoth Chipmunk. Who will win?I can't imagine anything being more fun for a kid to color than a blind man, can you?

I remember as a kid wondering about how this kind of stuff ever got made and what kind of retard would think a kid would like it? I thought "Thank God, the animated cartoons aren't like this!" Then came Scooby Doo, the 70s and my life and all my beliefs about fun were shattered.

Whole empires have been built around the socks and underwear entertainment theory: Filmation, Dic, Dreamworks.

You can bet 99% of the executives in cartoons give their kids socks, underwear and tax forms for their birthdays!