Monday, April 10, 2006

George Liquor Stories 4 - Heaven and more dirty tales

Well I was a little nervous to post the last stories, seeing as how they dealt with our basest needs- sex and religion, but from all the positive comments, I can see that you're nothing but a bunch of heathens, so here's a couple more tales to sate your pagan lusts.

Action VS God
George Liquor is a God-fearing widower who is saving himself for Heaven. He is totally devoted to his deceased wife Mabel, whose rear end is stuffed and mounted on the wall in his trophy room.

Merle (Sody’s big sister), A vixenish and buxom divorcee from down the street, has the hots for George and tries to seduce him in his own house of purity.
She is gorgeous and extremely tempting, so for the whole cartoon she tries to get him to cheat on his dead wife.
He has to frantically resist his natural urges and it gets harder and harder to do so.
He eventually tears pages out of the bible and sticks them on top of his erogenous zones as Merle corners him against a romantic bear skin wall rug.
George is sweating like mad and it looks like it’s over.

Cut to Heaven:
God is in His office, planning the next universe he will create. He’s deciding on how many billions of galaxies to create from nothing, and which planets will have life, and every exact countless combination of amino acids it will take to create zillions of new life forms to populate his universe, when something more important than all that comes up.


Nothing makes God more furious than when the equipment he designed for man functions.
God’s helper tells him George Liquor is on the phone. God looks down at his phone and sure enough, George’s button is flashing. He picks up and George begs him to save his soul and destroy the accursed symbol of his lust.

God strikes George dead and in his dying gasp he sticks his tongue out at a frustrated Merle.
“I wiiiin!!” gasps George as he succumbs to infinity.

Slumber Party

George Liquor is concerned about the trouble his teenage niece could get into out on the streets at night so he decides to host slumber parties for Janie and her friends. This could be done as a series. Each episode could feature a different activity:

Truth Or Dare:
The girls decide to play truth or dare. They talk about the boys they like. One says she loves Justin Timberloaf. Another loves Coleman from down the street. Judy says, “You know who I think is hot? Your Uncle Georgie!”

“Ewww!” says Janie, whose Uncle is hosting the party for the girls to keep them off the streets and out of trouble.
So they dare Judy to kiss Uncle Georgie and she is scared but also eager to steal some cheap love.
Cut to George asleep in his room, with a solid woodie sticking up under the blanket. It looks like he is having an erotic dream, but we zoom in on his dream cloud to see him out in the woods naked chainsawing trees down and cackling hideously.

The door starts to creep open, casting a sliver of light into the room.
The girls peer their frightened little eyes into the scene. Judy is most frightened. She tries to turn back, but the other girls push her into the room with a pool cue.
She slides in fast and almost falls over onto George. She catches herself and whips around whispering angrily “Cut it out you bitches!”
She looks at George sleeping and gets all doe-eyed. “He’s so manly! Look at his dream!” she mutters.

She summons up her nerve and leans down to plant a sweet kiss on his heaving stubbly lips.
This happens just as in the dream George cuts through a huge tree and the tree crashes down, out of the dream balloon and onto his manhood, crushing it into its unaroused state.
Awake now, he sees his lips kissing Judy’s and jumps up screaming: “Bespoiled by a virgin!!!”
George thinks they are all going to go to Hell unless they do something fast, so he turns the party into a penance party and saves everyone’s souls.

Pajama Swap
The girls decide to try on each other’s pajamas.
What else do I need to say?