Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Mike Fontanelli Sends Me Rude Pictures

Mike doesn't have his own blog, but he should, because he has such a sophisticated and unique view of the world. Eddie, Kali, Steve and I always try to convince this highly educated cartoonist to share his insights and clever observations with the rest of you but he refuses, so it's up to me to do it for him.I can just hear his eminence giggling like a high school girl as he send me these things.

Mike studied literature in University by the way and has a deep understanding of the classic writers.

Please beg Mike to start his own blog and let him enrich your lives as he does ours.

Some great Mike topics:

Are Rap Artists "artists"?

What he loves about modern "culture"

How "THEY" even ruined girls.

The I.Q.s of executives.

Who is more talented between Dane Cook and Buster Keaton.

His favorite version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre


What am I forgetting, disciples of Fontanelli?


Kali Fontecchio said...

I can't believe those puzzles are for real!!!!!! Those are amazing!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so filthy! Everyone, beg for Mike, and maybe he'll come!

Mitch said...

Mike Fontanelli, I beg you! We young wannabee's and the whole world need more good blogs to enrich our lives!

Stephen Worth said...

My favorite Mike F theory is the best way to numerically rank modern movies. It involves counting the number of nude scenes and subtracting the number of male nude scenes from the female ones.

See ya

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Mike! Are you listening!!!????

lastangelman said...

MY DINO PUZZLES! Mike found them? I haven't seen them since I was a little squirt... wait a minnit ... John is right! Shame! Shame! I feel dirty! The shame!
No wonder my Dino puzzles mysteriously disappeared one day, as well as all my warped Dino drawings. My parents, the prudes, were protecting me. Too late! Now I'm aroused by fat purple lizards with big pale noses and baby elephant attachments. Where's my spotted leopard skin suit? I've got a date with a snorkasaurus tonight!
BTW, Kali, great commentary with John & Eddie commentary on Popeye DVDs! Why doesn't anyone use the stereoptic process in animation anymore, at least for fun. It's so amazing to look at, whether in grey or in color!

lastangelman said...

Mike, for the sake of the children, please ....BLOG NOW!

Looney Moon Cartoons said...

"Who is more talented between Dane Cook and Buster Keaton."

Is that a serious question? Buster Keaton did incredible stunts with comedic timing, Dane Cook barely even tells jokes. They're not even in the same league.

Anonymous said...

I'm Mike's biggest fan. He's my favourite blogger commentator. He has some other recurring topics:

Evolution and science vs. religion

The modern world is a bunch of idiots (I think it's his favourite noun)

Anime sucks

Why remakes of classic cartoons suck (OR: his famous theory of a contest between the widows of Dr. Seuss and Jay Ward)

Learn to spell and use grammer correctly, idiots!

Old comics are infinitely better than new ones

Satire of highbrow culture (OR: Michael Barrier vs. Irony)

Mind you, I don't agree with everything he says but he's fascinating to read nonetheless. He has a suave, casual yet intelligent writing style that's fun to emulate. It features conversational sentence transitions which strengthen his sequential arguments (which he stacks like an impenetrable brick wall), show biz references and analogies, a slightly world weary tone that longs for the good old days, and, of course, a hilarious sense of humour. Whenever I'm trying got sound smarter than I am on blogger I imitate his writing style.

Start a blog, please, Mike! You can even make fun of my baggy pants! Going once... Going twice...

Marc Deckter said...

More Walt Kelly analyses!

thesecondtolastangryman said...

Guess who has a blog now!

Right, it's me, a perfect stranger who offers you nothing yet demands your attention, despite all that you've given already through your own blog! Joyous, ain't it?

hi :(

So anyway, I need help with Preston Blair shit. Can anybody who reads this who can already do it themselves stop by, skip to the bottom of my first post, watch the video, and tell me what in my process of drawing is hopelessly fucklered up? Then maybe John will go look and yell at me and that would make my day. :)

thanks :B

Callum said...

Mike, start blogging, I beg of thee.

Anonymous said...

HA HA! i had forgotten about the ranking movies by the nude scenes theory! that one is great! Yes! by all means, Mike. please, oh please, start blogging!

JoJo said...

If Mike sees this, he'll get it:

Michelle Baptista

That seems to be one of Mike's favorite topics of discussion, at least around me.

Julián höek said...

i hope you read this mike and decide to start posting on one of your 2 blogs you have empy! come one! you already have them! blog world is waiting for you!
it would be great if you share some of your theories with us plus some of you incredible art!!
we are all beging you!!

Sketch said...

Yea, Fontanelli needs a blog. There too many "green" cartoonists that need some kind of reference for decent drawings. That'd be awesome John K's blog, Uncle Eddie and you two. It's needed.

Gabriel said...

if he is so opposed to it, why don't he writes occasional posts to this blog? I'm sure they wouldn't be off topic. Maybe someone should spy on him, record his comments and transcribe it to blog posts.

Roo said...

mikes made some of the funniest drawings ive ever seen. the power weasle and the gangster bull dog with the huge cigar and fedora cracks me up. Look in the theory corner if anyone wants to see some original cartoony characters. look for the post about mike

Freckled Derelict said...

We want a walking tour through Mike's Home and amazing eye popping collection!!!!!!

Nico said...


Enlighten us!

Your house is awesome by the way. I command a tour next time, though!! pretty please.

Taber said...

This guy sounds great! Come teach us in the ways of the Mike!

Jenny said...

He''ll never do it. We can plead all we like. ; )
He's strictly a RL kind of guy.

(hi Mike)

mike f. said...

Gee, thanks to everyone (especially Jorge for his highly flattering analysis,) but it won't work.

The simple truth is - I just don’t see why the world needs another middle-aged misfit pondering the nuclear winter/train wreck that is modern culture.
I can’t see it as beneficial for anyone, not even fellow square peg, sourpuss bastards like myself.

(As opposed to John and Eddie's blogs, which manage to be critical but ultimately positive. Mine would just be angry. Trust me.)

Recently I witnessed a fluffy-tailed youth at ASIFA (no names, please) turn into a full-scale Fred Mertz curmudgeon in just a matter of months, partly due to being exposed to my anti-social ranting!

My blog dashboard is really only there to keep other posters from pretending to be me.
It'll remain inoperative until I find something positive to say about the current status quo, (or roughly until Hell freezes over. Any society that thinks Ryan Seacrest and Nicole Richie are worthy of celebrity just ain't for me.)

Someday, you'll thank me for it...

akira said...

mike- if you make a blog maybe we can argue with you in the comments to try to point out the sunny side of life... or howabout just post some of your drawings! that would be proof enough that at least ALL of civilization is not in total decline!

Julián höek said...

or share some of your art with us!!

Craig D said...

But, mike!

Didn't you hear?

There is currently an acute Mertz shortage that is threatening to depopulate the entire Brazilian rain forest!

We need more Mertzes and fewer fluffy tails!

On behalf of the entire world, I beg you to reconsider.

andrewdmortlock said...

mike, come onnnnn

Shaquille Davis said...

mike you are a misogynous know-it-all nostalgia whore. i hope you have a stroke.