Saturday, March 27, 2010

Original Ranger Smith Story Notes

I always thought Yogi Bear cartoons could benefit from more true-life nature bits. That way the fans could not only enjoy hearty laughs with their favorite forest oaf and his youthful charge, but would also learn about what really goes on behind every innocent looking tree and bush.

"Wake up Kids! This is REAL LIFE!...
OK, now sit down and enjoy some wacky forest antics."

When I was about 11 or 12, I had a friend from the catholic school who was huge, and already had a filmy mustache. He was a year older than me, but 2 years behind in school. My friends at the public school would ask me, "Hey, who's that MAN you hang around with?" The "man" was named "Beaver", but everyone was afraid to ask him why. He used to twist the other kids' arms off and punch you in sacred areas. But I would tell him all the latest jokes, feed him cigarettes and draw funny pictures of him, so he never killed me. Every time the urge to mangle would come over him (and I could see it in his eyes and stiffening mustache fibers) I would have to quickly come up with a crazy joke, or just do something stupid enough to make him laugh. He also took my cowboy hat and rode my tiny mustang bike all over the neighborhood. Beaver basically owned other the material wealth of every other kid in town. Every kid cartoonist should befriend a bully who's body has matured years before its time. It's great training.

Of course the lesser bullies be jealous that I was protected by Beaver, and whenever he was around, then they would start in on me and I had different strategies to stay alive for them.

One thing especially fearsome to us Protestant kids ( who took about 2 more years to reach puberty) was that all the Italian boys had pointy shoes "cockroach kickers". They absolutely hated wearing them - except when soft unformed Public School boys came around. We were easily punctured.