Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Genius Of Hollywood - Zombie Bears Haunt Jellystone and Eat Toddlers

What's stranger looking than a man in a cartoon character suit? Or more scary?

Funky Al sent me links to this amazing movie adaptation of a cartoon that was originally intended to be fun.


I'm not making this up.

I'm always astounded by why anyone would want to make "realistic" versions of cartoon characters, and on top of that go out of their way to make them more hideous than they even have to be. Don't Yogi and BooBoo here kind of look like they've been raised from the dead to haunt Jellystone? They pretty much look like mange-ridden corpses. I guess that's what Hollywood thinks kids like.

Another odd thing Hollywood does is use voices that aren't cartoony for cartoon characters. Why make cartoon movies if you hate everything about cartoons and are going to play against all the things that made them popular in the first place? If you think all the essential attributes of Yogi Bear are crap and have to be discarded, why do it in the first place? Just make another zombie movie or something. Someone explain this to me.
From one of the many articles I found online about this movie:
The former 'N Syncer is "lending" his vaunted pipes to an upcoming movie based on Jellystone's favorite ursine picnic snatcher, Yogi Bear. Timberlake would play sidekick to Dan Aykroyd's smarter-than-the-average-bear main character, in the live-action, CGI hybrid
from Warners, Variety reports. Anna Faris would star as a flesh-and-blood filmmaker working on a nature documentary.

They should make a CG character of the pipes and cover them with matted hair.

Summary: Jellystone Park has been losing business, so greedy Mayor Brown decides to shut it down and sell the land. With Yogi and Boo Boo threatened to be tossed out of the only home they know, they join forces with their old nemesis Ranger Smith to find a way to save Jellystone Park.

They should do a movie about greedy WB losing business by destroying all their characters and a band of vigilante cartoonists burn the place down and rescue all the maimed and mangy classic carton stars and set them free to be cute and funny again.

Analysis: A 3-D live-action/CGI film adaptation of the classic Hanna-Barbera series which, much like "Garfield" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks", will mix computer-generated animal characters with humans. It's a mix that often works - the films all cost an economical $60-70 million to make, and even the worst ones generate at least 2-3 times that in box-office revenue alone thanks to brand name recognition and being "toddler-friendly". (Toddlers love the walking dead)


For years they have asking me to make new Yogi cartoons, but I can't get even a half a million to make 1. Probably because I actually like the characters. But 60-70 million $ to make walking corpses is considered economical.

50 years of Decline Through The Medium Of Yogi Bear

If Hollywood has to make hideous versions of beloved cartoon characters, they should at least hire this designer.
I'd watch a movie that looked like this. I'll even make it - for a measley 50 million bucks.