Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sunday Drive To Mars


After church service, George and the kids are talking to the preacher next to their parked car.George: "That was a Jim-Dandy of a sermon today, Father!"

Preacher: Bless you my sons. May the rest of your Sabbath be clean and without blemish.

George: "Thanks Father!"

He looks at the kids:

"And Now that you've washed away all your sins, do you feel clean, children?"

Slab looks nervous and guilty: "I'm not sure, Unca George...I'm feeling an urge! Is that a sin?"

George winks at the camera: "That all depends on what kind of urge it is. If it's an urge to go for a Sunday drive in the family car, then that is a good clean urge!"

Slab: "That's exactly the kind of urge I have !

George: "Fine! It's a perfect day for a Sunday Drive!"

George and the kids get in the car and drive down the highway.

btw, look at these great drawings by Jim Smith!

When they come to a hill, they drive up and then keep going into the air.

They sail past all the other cars that are stuck on the towering rock peaks in Arizona.

Ernie: Hey Unca George, I heard this car gets 32 EPA miles to the gallon.
Slab, "What's EPA?"

George "It's the goddamn ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY! " A buncha tree huggers! That's why I love to leave the environment! We get even more miles per gallon in zero G!"

The God-fearing family leaves the atmosphere and heads to Mars where they stop at a lake of methane. They park and get out of the car. George still has his Bible with him.

He opens it and we see it's actually a fishing tackle box.

It's full of colorful lures.
George: "There's good fishin' here boys and no one around for millions of miles! Crack open that cargo hatch and haul out the gear!"

The kids unload the fishing equipment.

Ernie: "You sure got a lot of crap back here, Uncle George!"

George: "40 Goddamn cubic feet worth of crap!"

Ernie asks" What kind of lures do Martian fish like, Unca George?"

"What else?" asks George. He picks out a beautiful 3 hooked lure in the shape of a gorgeous woman. "They like human women, just like the rest of us!"

He casts his line into the lake and yanks out a huge eyeball with fins. "There's one!"

Wipe the scene: to George closing up the back of the car. The cargo hatch is filled with their catch: piles of Martian eyeball creatures, flopping around.

They come back through Earth's atmosphere and land in George's driveway with 40 cubic feet worth of tasty Martian eyeballs.


jim said...

I love it that George drives a Vibe!

MLP said...

I have an urge to watch George show us how it should be done!

Dave Jacob Hoffman said...

Ted Sturgeon! Woo!

cha cha said...

dave beat me to it. THEODORE STURGEON! sweet!

Niki said...

When will I see these pictures move!? When will I see these pictures move!? Make it happen! Make it happen!

cemenTIMental said...

This would be amazing, hope you can make it happen!!!

Neptune said...

Fantastic! Those old science fiction covers are great for inspiration. I did a post of a bunch of them a while back:

check it out if you want!

Nicholas Burns said...

That Sturgeon cover is by the great Richard M. Powers.

Like Neptune says, great inspiration.

gracesix said...

Yum! 40 cubic feet worth of tasty Martian eyeballs

RooniMan said...

Is that the Pontiac they drove before?

The Butcher said...

Holy crap! I would love to see some Martian environments in your cartoons! Like Marooned! My favorite!

Mister 1-2-3-4 said...

I absolutely love this!

Pickle Pumper said...

Wow, this idea was used in the Australian show :30 Seconds. I wonder if they stole it...

Anonymous said...

John, this is one of the best things you've ever done. WOW!!!