Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sunday Drive To Mars


After church service, George and the kids are talking to the preacher next to their parked car.George: "That was a Jim-Dandy of a sermon today, Father!"

Preacher: Bless you my sons. May the rest of your Sabbath be clean and without blemish.

George: "Thanks Father!"

He looks at the kids:

"And Now that you've washed away all your sins, do you feel clean, children?"

Slab looks nervous and guilty: "I'm not sure, Unca George...I'm feeling an urge! Is that a sin?"

George winks at the camera: "That all depends on what kind of urge it is. If it's an urge to go for a Sunday drive in the family car, then that is a good clean urge!"

Slab: "That's exactly the kind of urge I have !

George: "Fine! It's a perfect day for a Sunday Drive!"

George and the kids get in the car and drive down the highway.

btw, look at these great drawings by Jim Smith!

When they come to a hill, they drive up and then keep going into the air.

They sail past all the other cars that are stuck on the towering rock peaks in Arizona.

Ernie: Hey Unca George, I heard this car gets 32 EPA miles to the gallon.
Slab, "What's EPA?"

George "It's the goddamn ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY! " A buncha tree huggers! That's why I love to leave the environment! We get even more miles per gallon in zero G!"

The God-fearing family leaves the atmosphere and heads to Mars where they stop at a lake of methane. They park and get out of the car. George still has his Bible with him.

He opens it and we see it's actually a fishing tackle box.

It's full of colorful lures.
George: "There's good fishin' here boys and no one around for millions of miles! Crack open that cargo hatch and haul out the gear!"

The kids unload the fishing equipment.

Ernie: "You sure got a lot of crap back here, Uncle George!"

George: "40 Goddamn cubic feet worth of crap!"

Ernie asks" What kind of lures do Martian fish like, Unca George?"

"What else?" asks George. He picks out a beautiful 3 hooked lure in the shape of a gorgeous woman. "They like human women, just like the rest of us!"

He casts his line into the lake and yanks out a huge eyeball with fins. "There's one!"

Wipe the scene: to George closing up the back of the car. The cargo hatch is filled with their catch: piles of Martian eyeball creatures, flopping around.

They come back through Earth's atmosphere and land in George's driveway with 40 cubic feet worth of tasty Martian eyeballs.