Saturday, March 27, 2010

Original Ranger Smith Story Notes

I always thought Yogi Bear cartoons could benefit from more true-life nature bits. That way the fans could not only enjoy hearty laughs with their favorite forest oaf and his youthful charge, but would also learn about what really goes on behind every innocent looking tree and bush.

"Wake up Kids! This is REAL LIFE!...
OK, now sit down and enjoy some wacky forest antics."

When I was about 11 or 12, I had a friend from the catholic school who was huge, and already had a filmy mustache. He was a year older than me, but 2 years behind in school. My friends at the public school would ask me, "Hey, who's that MAN you hang around with?" The "man" was named "Beaver", but everyone was afraid to ask him why. He used to twist the other kids' arms off and punch you in sacred areas. But I would tell him all the latest jokes, feed him cigarettes and draw funny pictures of him, so he never killed me. Every time the urge to mangle would come over him (and I could see it in his eyes and stiffening mustache fibers) I would have to quickly come up with a crazy joke, or just do something stupid enough to make him laugh. He also took my cowboy hat and rode my tiny mustang bike all over the neighborhood. Beaver basically owned other the material wealth of every other kid in town. Every kid cartoonist should befriend a bully who's body has matured years before its time. It's great training.

Of course the lesser bullies be jealous that I was protected by Beaver, and whenever he was around, then they would start in on me and I had different strategies to stay alive for them.

One thing especially fearsome to us Protestant kids ( who took about 2 more years to reach puberty) was that all the Italian boys had pointy shoes "cockroach kickers". They absolutely hated wearing them - except when soft unformed Public School boys came around. We were easily punctured.

14 comments:

talkingtj said...

are you sure we didnt grow up in the same neighborhood?!

Chris said...

Wow! These haven't been online since the SPUMCO website. Nice to see them online again.

"... and punch you in sacred places." Man, that made me laugh.

Niki said...

I never thought of all that! Though I do remember it!

I was a tall kid, but all my bullies were actually smaller than me! Using primal caveman instincts that have long been forgotten, I could hold my breath to make my chest look bigger, then I'd become alpha male again.

John-Michael Morgan said...

These stories are funny! I've actually done that "befriend a bully" thing you mentioned. His name is Cyrus, and he has the mind of a muscular 4 year old trapped in the body of a chubby, muscular middle school kid.

HemlockMan said...

I had a friend like Beaver, but he wasn't cruel. Quite the opposite. His name was Wayne and he was very docile. However, I once saw a kid who was a bully force Wayne into a fight and Wayne beat the shit out of the other kid, then got mad at me for doing nothing while he was smushing the bully's face in. He was so mad at me that he never had anything to do with me after that.

Craig Something said...

Wow, I'd never really thought about that. I'd always assumed Booboo was just shorter than Yogi.

Craig Something said...
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TedM said...

That's a good story. None of the bullies liked me. Anyway are The Ranger Smith and Boo Boo cartoons ever coming out on dvd or blu ray? You cant even watch those cartoons on youtube anymore.

Elana Pritchard said...

The thought of weird pooberty bullies make me glad I grew up a girl.

Katy Lloyd said...

@Elana, too right! The only girl bullies who were actually dangerous were gypsies, and Nobody messes with them. Not unless you want to get stabbed and cursed or something.
Er, back on topic, great ideas and drawings! I love the concept of Boo Boo being questioned by the other little bears.
It's funny how in school it's a real novelty/privilege to be friends with someone just a couple of years older..

RooniMan said...

Beaver is his name, huh?

I'm getting the feeling I know why hes named that.

Scrawnypumpkinseed said...

Those were some super-appealing drawings of Yogi. I really love the drawing of Ranger Smith cross-legged toward the bottom.

Befriend the bully; a wise tactic for a scrawny person like me!

Scrawnypumpkinseed said...
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lastangelman said...

adult swim still has Boo Boo and The Man posted on line