Thursday, May 20, 2010

Heartaches Pilot 12 : Oh Unkind Fate

Roxy: "But you don't understand, Shan! Curlyfuzz has never been out on his own before! He needs love and the warmth of human kindness!"Dissolve to Doggy Divorce Court in the seedier part of town. We hear a gavel smash down hard on wood. Judge V.O. "Court is in session"
Spaz the Bulldog addresses the court: "Your honor, I'm afraid this marriage is a sham."
"Lord knows, we tried to make it work, but the love is gone. Oh Lord, it's gone away."
The judge listens carefully. "Hmmm."
Spaz: "It' ain't that he's not a good woman. It's that he's too good. For me, anyway.
"He's an uptown dame, used to leisure and comfort. I just can't provide him with the upscale lifestyle she deserves."
Judge: "Hmmm. one a them sissy dames is he?""Divorce granted. You may kick the bride."
Spaz: "I'm sorry, baby. It just wasn't meant to be. Be strong now."
Spaz gently takes his frail ex by the tail and turns to take aim for a good final boot.
He gives him the official divorce boot and Curly sails past the ghostly crowd of gawkers whose eternal joy is to lap up the misery of others.

Curly flies out of the courtroom and lands smack down on the cold cruel ground outside.

Woe is he. She. It. Whatever the Hell.