Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heartaches Pilot 15: the Ponzis Pity The Pooch

Poor old abandoned Curly Fuzz Poodle wanders the cold cruel city streets alone.
He puffs on a discarded doggy bone; his sole comfort in a world fated against used toys.
He gives in to his destiny.
A rich corporate magnate and his wife happen to be taking a stroll downtown to see how the lower-half lives. Mr. Ponzi, a dog-lover, stops and sees the ragged dog. "Hey Sweetums. Look! A poor homeless mutt! What a shame!"
Mrs. Ponzi: "I think he's foul and should be euthanized along with the rest of the working class!"Mr. Ponzi: "Nonsense and balderdash! You forget that I was a low class bum, myself once! But I worked my way up the hard way! -By stomping on the carcasses of my peers! That's the American way!""By Gadfry, this is my chance to get into Heaven Honey! I may be a dirty corporate executive, but I'll do something nice for the little ragamuffin pup! Not for free, of course! Nothing comes cheap in this here world! You bet your big smelly behind! Harumph!
Here Poochie, how'd ya like to make a few honest bucks? Can you do tricks?"
"MMMMm... smell that green ambrosia!"
"OK, boy. Let's have a trick. SPEAK! C'mon boy! Let's hear ya! Woof, sir, WOOF!"
Curly Fuzz stands up. It's his chance to make it in the world!
He pokes his finger through his magic talking ring.
...and yanks his enchanted string
His voice box is badly rusted and alas, only emits a raspy garbled backwards message.
The corporate magnate is shocked. He doesn't recognize this rusty language. "Egad! a foreigner!!"
Mrs. Ponzi, a member of the landed aristocracy is completely incensed. Mr. Ponzi pockets his cash, outraged.
"You call that speaking??! Why, I oughta deport you! I bet you're a damn communist - or worse!"
"Now look what you've done to my lovely wife!! You've ruined my trophy! Do you know how much it cost to fatten her up like that?"
to be continued


Anonymous said...

That mogul reminds me of that salesman character from "Space Madness" combined with one of Milt Gross' characters. I see some Chuck Jones in that guy too. It's amazing how you combined all these influences together (Gross, Chris Reccardi, and Jones) to make a funny looking magnate. The design of his wife is even more hilarious.

Austin Papageorge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RooniMan said...

There goes his $200.

Elana Pritchard said...


yawn said...

This shouldn't happen to a dog, hee hee.

rodineisilveira said...

Johnny K.,

This storyboard looks like a blend of Chuck Jones with Tex Avery.

Carmine said...

LOL. This is great.

If this was an actual episode of a cartoon, I think it would knock peoples socks off completely across the room. Every sequence you post is more fun and funny than the last. I can't even think of a contemporary cartoon that comes close to this stuff.

Thanks you sir.

Scrawnypumpkinseed said...

Great storyboards John!

By the way I found an old navy commercial with Curly Fuzz Poodle and The Heartaches!


Noel said...

Man, characters all over the place, sorry i haven't donated yet, i will for sure ...think i'll do that now.

Josh said...

This is the best section yet! Awesome!

Anonymous said...


I love seeing you at work, even in these storyboards. It's amazing watching a natural cartoonist working without any shame at what he does best. Thanks!

PS - Your captions are an added bonus. Though cartoons might ultimately be about funny drawings, your funny words are the icing on the cake.

kevin said...

Yes sir i like it!

Mattieshoe said...

I like the ominous buildings in the distance. reminds me of Bill Peet's inanimate objects.

-jjmm- said...

I'm really sorry about Howie Post. I love his art too; you introduced me to it. A real lost...

Anonymous said...

Man, I've got to stop reading these while at work. This one had me laughing hard and loud over here and almost got me in trouble. The sound I imagined from poodle was like those baby toy animal wheels with all the different animals and sounds. After a few years the roosters sound like a screeching car.

georgeliquor said...

That's one REALLY funny aristocrat.

John, you have to join up with Kaboing TV, the online cartoon channel Joe Murray is launching later this year. I'm sure there's room for two popular cartoonists on it. Besides, he's looking for more people to join up.

Dan said...

Hey John,

Just curious. Are these sort of rough storyboards your ‘writing process’?

If you were planning to animate is this how you begin your story writing or is there something that comes before?



JohnK said...

I'm working from a rough outline that tells the story in broad strokes.

I'm adding details and dialogue on the spot as I storyboard over bacon.

From there, I would go to layout and polish all the drawings and fix the construction and stuff.

seckscab said...

Why, I bet that damn poodle voted for Obama!

Peter Bernard said...

Wow. Thar was amazing. Also, that happened to me the other day, minus the rich wife. This millionaire offered me work. I googled him, he'd been sued for hundreds of thousands of dollars for pulling a gun on a worker. Hmmm... do I want to be poor or do I want to have a gun pulled on me by my Phil Spector boss? Yes, it's the American way! I chose poverty, as usual. Now I can self-congratulate on how ideologically pure I am.

Fata Morgana said...

Hmm, I feel a little troubled that all the adult ladies in your cartoons are heartless bitches, though maybe I should comfort myself that all your adult males are idiots? But I'm not sure that's comforting, because given the choice between being kindly idiotic or cruelly intelligent, I would definitely choose the former, even if the "kindness" is misguided at best.

JohnK said...

I wouldn't try to read any political propaganda into it.
If there was any, it would be blatant.

Oliver_A said...

I wouldn't try to read any political propaganda into it.
If there was any, it would be blatant.

Even if it might not be consciously intended, but to me, it reads definitely as a social satire about the American way of life.

Nothing wrong with it though. Why should it? Either you have to say something, or you don't. After all, us kids need a lesson to be taught.