Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heartaches Pilot 15: the Ponzis Pity The Pooch

Poor old abandoned Curly Fuzz Poodle wanders the cold cruel city streets alone.
He puffs on a discarded doggy bone; his sole comfort in a world fated against used toys.
He gives in to his destiny.
A rich corporate magnate and his wife happen to be taking a stroll downtown to see how the lower-half lives. Mr. Ponzi, a dog-lover, stops and sees the ragged dog. "Hey Sweetums. Look! A poor homeless mutt! What a shame!"
Mrs. Ponzi: "I think he's foul and should be euthanized along with the rest of the working class!"Mr. Ponzi: "Nonsense and balderdash! You forget that I was a low class bum, myself once! But I worked my way up the hard way! -By stomping on the carcasses of my peers! That's the American way!""By Gadfry, this is my chance to get into Heaven Honey! I may be a dirty corporate executive, but I'll do something nice for the little ragamuffin pup! Not for free, of course! Nothing comes cheap in this here world! You bet your big smelly behind! Harumph!
Here Poochie, how'd ya like to make a few honest bucks? Can you do tricks?"
"MMMMm... smell that green ambrosia!"
"OK, boy. Let's have a trick. SPEAK! C'mon boy! Let's hear ya! Woof, sir, WOOF!"
Curly Fuzz stands up. It's his chance to make it in the world!
He pokes his finger through his magic talking ring.
...and yanks his enchanted string
His voice box is badly rusted and alas, only emits a raspy garbled backwards message.
The corporate magnate is shocked. He doesn't recognize this rusty language. "Egad! a foreigner!!"
Mrs. Ponzi, a member of the landed aristocracy is completely incensed. Mr. Ponzi pockets his cash, outraged.
"You call that speaking??! Why, I oughta deport you! I bet you're a damn communist - or worse!"
"Now look what you've done to my lovely wife!! You've ruined my trophy! Do you know how much it cost to fatten her up like that?"
to be continued