Tuesday, November 10, 2009

If I Had To Schedule A Kids' Network

What if there was a kids' network that was programmed by someone who actually liked you? If I was a kid, I would want cartoonists to schedule network programming for sure, (instead of psychologists, lawyers and market research biddies) since we are just big kids ourselves and still watch cartoons and puppet shows and play with toys.

Network Schedule


Early Morning

Little kids get up early before school starts and they need some entertainment.
During this block, we will schedule the cartoons that aim at the youngest viewers.

The shows we pull from will be mostly TV cartoons from the 50s and 60s.

We will age up the shows as it gets nearer 8:00


5:45 am Official Pre-Cartoon Wait

This is a throwback to the 60s early morning schedule.
Before the cartoons came on, us little kids would have to wait through boring stuff for a seeming eternity. This wait would make the cartoons so much sweeter when they finally came on.

We will make fun of this 15 minutes of torture by running stuff like:
The Indian Head with an annoying tone playing in the background

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Bowling For Dollars



This show stars a man peeking from behind a desk with a big clock behind him.
The clock is named “Mr. Wait”

The top of the man's head is named
"Truancy Glare"
His lips are called "Purple Heed"

As far as we know the lips and forehead are not attched because we never see them at the same time.

Mr. Wait ticks and ticks and the second hand moves slower as the forehead behind the desk drones on about things you can do while you wait for the wonderful cartoon shows that are like ice cream painted on your eyes.

You can : clean your room boys and girls
Wash your hands and face twice and don't forget your ears
Do homework and eat non-sugary cereal

We keep cutting to the evil clock. It has a mean face and laughs as time slowly trudges away while the kids at home fidget about anxiously waiting for the first cartoons to start.

Time Passing Gags

Vines Growing up House
Kids look outside Window- they see a rabbit decomposing (time lapse photography)

Finally a cartoon title sequence starts up, and just as the kids get all excited, the film breaks and we cut to a card that reads “Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By”

We cut back to the clock for a 5 second countdown, 5,4,3,2..........1. A planet teeming with life explodes on screen and then the real cartoons start!

The kids go crazy!

6:00 – 6:30 - Cartoon Cereal Serials and Shorts

a) Serial

Every day from Monday to Friday we will run a serialized cartoon strip from the 50s or 60s.
Ruff’ 'N’ Reddy
Clutch Cargo
Colonel Bleep
Tom Terrific

Each of these series were made of 5 minute episodes that ended with a cliffhanger. There would be anywhere from 10-20 episodes of these serials.
The kids have to watch every day to find out how the story ends.

b) Short TV cartoons that weren’t part of half hour shows, like:

Dodo The Kid From Outer Space
Roger Ramjet
Lippy The Lion and Hardy Har Har

The Lineup After the Early Morning Half Hour:
6:30 Deputy Dawg
7:00 Super Six
7:30 Tom and Jerry


The Flintstones
Alvin and The Chipmunks
Heckle and Jeckle

The Jetsons
Fox and Crow and Friends

Magilla Gorilla
Top Cat
Mighty Heroes
Woody Woodpecker with Walter Lantz

Lunch Hour
Secret Cartoon Club:

This is a live-action wraparound for a show that features assorted short syndicated cartoons or some new ones.

The show opens with a wobbly hand held camera coming up to a door with a little closed peep slot.
Above the peep slot is a sign: “Secret Cartoon Club. No Grownups Allowed” scrawled in childlike lettering.

The camera stops and a little fist raises up into scene to knock on the door
Rap rap rap

The little panel opens and we see eyes peering down at the kid who knocked.
“What’s the password?”
The door opens and the kid is let into a secret room in a run down clubhouse.
There are folding chairs in the middle of the room.

Kids dressed in 50s type clothes are sitting in the chairs
Striped shirts, Beany caps, Jughead hats
Girls in frilly dresses with chocolate smears on their faces

There is also a live duck with a striped shirt sitting on one of the chairs
The duck's master on another.
This is the cartoon audience.

There is a raised stage with an old screen.

A Projector starts up and runs the cartoons.

Every day we do gags in the live set about how important it is to keep this whole club secret.


One day there is a full grown man sitting in one of the chairs.

He is dressed in a kids’ outfit

It’s too small

Shorts, with hairy legs coming out

click the link below to see more details:

Half way through the episode an alarm goes off and we realize that this is a grownup

The kids capture him and lead him to the punishment chamber

The Secret Cartoon Club Of The Future

One day we have a contest
One of the kids wins and the prize is:
He gets to travel to a million years in the future
Everything we know of is gone, except the secret cartoon club, because there will always be a need for cartoons
A giant brain projects cartoon films directly into the minds of kids


After School
Huckleberry Hound
Beany and Cecil
Quick Draw McGraw
Yogi Bear


Saturday Morning

On Saturday Mornings we feature our big guns.

Great packages of classic fully animated classic cartoons and 3 Stooges. - Plus new cartoons that I produce.

The Three Stooges
The Original 1960 Bugs Bunny Show
Mighty Mouse Playhouse
Tom and Jerry/Tex Avery Show
The Daffy Duck Show

This is all the wild 40s WB cartoons with new wraparounds animated in Bob Clampett’s style by John and his crew
Wraparounds, presentation
All of our cartoon programming will be presented with really fun intros and wraparounds, plus commercials for our toy company

The toy company will license the characters from the cartoons we run and make merchandise for all the characters. Then we'd make commercials selling the toys.

Original Programming:

Wally Whimsy and The Goofy Gremlins

He Hog The Atomic Pig


The Heartaches

Kaspar The Unfriendly Bear and His Enemieshttp://johnkpitch.blogspot.com/2009/09/kaspar-pilot.html

Never would there be more fun than if I was a programming executive. I reckon I can promise you that.