Raketeena the Communication Imp of Tomorrow
1. Raketeena is the “imp from the future”.
Raketeena’s Sidekicks
RAKETU THE ALL POWERFUL
1. Raketeena is the “imp from the future”.
She’s from the far future (The Imp Of Tomorrow), 6 months from now, where technology is far in advance of us- people drive around in rocket cars and spaceships.
People communicate completely through the convenient Raketu application. No one has lips anymore, because lip technology is so outdated.
People communicate completely through the convenient Raketu application. No one has lips anymore, because lip technology is so outdated.
Raketeena’s Sidekicks
Raketina has two little helpful friends: a remote control/cellphone: (MO-BILLY )with a big nose and a futuristic monitor with one eyeball: (MONITORR).
MONITORR speaks in techie lingo with a little bit of ad exec thrown in.
Raketeena translates what he says to the audience.
MO-BILLY has no patience for primitive humans, and thinks they are too dumb to bother with and Raketeena has to always watch him and keep his temper under control.
MONITORR speaks in techie lingo with a little bit of ad exec thrown in.
Raketeena translates what he says to the audience.
MO-BILLY has no patience for primitive humans, and thinks they are too dumb to bother with and Raketeena has to always watch him and keep his temper under control.
RAKETU is the omnipotent force in the future universe that has appointed Raketeena and her crew to help people solve their communications problems.
We never see RAKETU, but we sometimes hear his booming voice as he issues benevolent advice and commands to his loyal crew of COMMUNICATEERS.
2. George Liquor and his time period is like the stone age to an imp from the future like Raketeena.
George Liquor and his world represent people from the audience.
They live in the primitive “World Of Now.”
Raketeena travels backwards through time to help the people of “Now”, whom she thinks of the way we think of cavemen.
Raketeena travels though holes in time. She appears out of people’s ears and noses and armpits and pores to help them with their communication problems.
Raketeena snickers at George’s primitive tools like the telephone, fax machine and even television and dvd players.
Whenever George and any of the characters have trouble with any of their primitive communication devices, Raketeena appears to solve the problem through RAKETU.
6. Raketu tag lines
Be the subhuman of the Future!
Raketu – where Tomorrow happens Today!
Visit Tomorrow Today – with Raketu
"Communication but not as you know it"
"Tomorrow’s world is just a download away"
George Liquor Stories with Raketu Commercials embedded
George Liquor teaches Slab&Ernie about Tomorrow
George Liquor is sleepingGeorge’s alarm clock rings – it’s an old fashioned alarm clock with key in back
George looks at alarm clock – its quarter til NOW
George goes to wake Slab & Ernie up
George knocks on the door “Are you decent!?”
Slab & Ernie: “Hang on Uncle George”
George: “We’ve got a visitor coming today. She’s a real Cutie-wootie!”
S&E: “Who is she, Unca George?”
G: “She’s a lady from Tomorrow!”
S&E: “Where’s that?”
G: “down 3 blocks, around the corner” “behind the chicken coop” “Look it up on yer Yahoo maps”
The doorbell rings.
George opens door – there is a floating vortex in the open doorway
George: “look outside, kids! It’s tomorrow! Don’t get too close!”
Slab sticks his head partly into the shimmering vortex – he sees the future! When he pulls his head back in, he has partly evolved a big brain.
George: “Don’t go to the future! They’ve evolved past humans! You can’t go to Heaven if you’re not human!”
George: “Think there’s giant brains in Heaven? NO!
The Lord doesn’t want you too smart! Too hard to keep you under control!
You’ll start thinkin’ for yourselves! Then the whole world’ll go to Hell in a handbasket!”
Raketeena comes in and shows the family how to better communicate using the Raketu app.
George loves the technology of tomorrow but of course, being a Republican is a mite suspicious of the newness of it all.
Raketeena wins him over by showing how simple and convenient Raketu is.
She shows George the different IM services.
George: “Which one does Jesus use??
I got somethin’ I wanna clear up with him right now!
Can you pray through this shit?”
George Instant messages Jesus.
His screen name is Zealot.
Zealot: Hey are you really that Christ guy?
Jesus 2447238: Yes my, son.
Zealot: Can I confess some crap here?
Jesus 2447238: We are all sinners.
Zealot: I had a dirty thought this week!
A lightning bolt zaps through the instant message window and fries George to a pile of cinders and a pair of clean fresh y-fronts on his chair.
George is impressed.
“Sign me up!”
After the family is all wired up, with George Instant Messaging his ancestors and the kids playing video games and the dog text messaging the cat down the street to tell him his ass is grass, Raketeena says “My job is done here” and dissolves through a warp in time in George’s armpit.
Everyone waves goodbye and George gets a tear in his eye.
Meet Hot Widows Through The All Powerful Medium of Raketu
2. George Liquor is sitting in his living room, spying on the pretty widow girl sitting in her living room next door.“If only there were some way I could COMMUNICATE with her!”
Raketeena suddenly appears out of nowhere to help George.
“Should I call her on the phone?” George asks.
“The phone!?” Raketeena laughs. “No no no. You should use the technology of the future: RAKETU.COM!” Raketeena does a heavy blink, like “I Dream Of Jeannie”, and all the future equipment appears in George’s living room.
Soon, George is instant messaging his lovely neighbor and they get married and have an “Instant Honeymoon” all without ever leaving their houses. Virtual children frolic acroos their desktops.
George gets Free Phone Calls To Foreign Lands
Raketeena tells George that he can call long distance free to 42 countries.George loves a good bargain, but “What the Hell do I wanna talk to foreigners for??”
“If I wanna go to the trouble of calling long distance, I want to hear a true American on the other end of the horn! Hopefully one I already agree with! Who lives across the street where I can keep an eye on ‘im!”
George is dying to test it out, so he gets on a plane and goes to Europe and calls the sexy widow across the street from his house to tell her to stay where she’s at, “‘cause there’s nothin’ but dirty foreigners here. An’ guess what! I’m tellin’ ya this fer free!”
