Smokey Fun

They should have a funny animal character for all antisocial behaviors. "Knuckly" the "Don't Mug Old Ladies Gnu would make a good role model. "Bad Tastey" the don't wear your pants below your underwear waistband Wildebeest.

Puppet Fun

Smokey the Foetus says "Don't grow up and be a corporate puppet who destroys all fun."I love this puppet design concept. A nice sculpted full color 3 dimensional head coupled with a drawing of the body printed in 3 colors on a cloth rag.The head is made by a different artist than whoever drew the body. These Terrytoons bodies look like they were drawn in Hong Kong while the heads are sculpted on the homefront. It's a great contrast and really makes the characters come to lifeMan. do I wish I had a Farmer Alfalfa puppet! The greatest cartoon character in history!Rocky and Bullwinkle made for great toys. Rocky has been eating well lately. Bullwinkle looks a little shakey. And flesh-colored!

HANNA BARBERA PUPPETS

For some reason Hanna Barbera sold more toys than any characters in history.
These bodies look like Ed Benedict's actual model sheet drawings. That's kind of cheating because they actually look well designed on purpose. The heads are on-model too, which is also against classic toy design laws.

MushMouse's proportions here are a natural wonder.
They go well with Betty's below.

"Archie, take me!!"

LESS FUN BUT STILL AMUSING

I was never too much into "realistic" characters as toys, but when they do weird things to them like this they're still kinda fun.

The giant heads make them more fun than the cartoons themselves.
Encasing them claustrophobic body bags helps.

PUPPET DEVOLUTION

Like everything else, puppets suffered the devasting mass devolution of the 1970s. Climate change caused all fun design to go extinct.

NOT A PUPPET BUT MODERN TOY NO FUN ANYMOREThis isn't a puppet but it's a good example of what happened to toy design after the 70s. Everything became bland, lumpy and wrinkly.

MORE FUN PUPPETS IN ACTION: SANDY BECKER'S CHRISTMAS CAROL

Smokey The Pectoral Bear Raises Your Children Right

Well Mike Fontanelli has switched obsessions. He's abandoned his role as champion of Native Americans in favor of spreading the lore of Smokey The Pectoral Bear.

Smokey the "Bear" is a misnomer. He is actually half man /half bear. He has pectoral muscles, walks bipedally, talks and will not wear a shirt. He teaches his son all-American man morals too: "Son, always remember to never wear a shirt while patrolling the forest. Bare your naked breast with manly pride."


You might think you already know everything there is to know about Smokey The Bear. But you're wrong. - Unless you have read this mysterious freak of nature's gripping ethical adventures in Dell Comics.

Smokey does more than just put out forest fires. His role is much more all-encompassing than merely ridding the wilds of arsonists. He has many surprising responsibilities.

INTERFERING WITH NATURE

Smokey is revolted by the natural order of things.
He needs to stop carnivores from eating cute things.

Eating an ugly old Mom is just fine though.

TO PUT ANIMALS OUT THEIR MISERY

Smokey is always on the lookout for wounded animals so he can end their misery with his missile of mercy. "Hey Mr. Racoon. Is that a limp?"
"Uh, no sir, Mr. Smokey! It's just a little scratch! I stepped on a burr! Nothing serious at all." "Tsk, tsk" says Smokey. If there's one thing I can't stand; it's to see a poor ignorant beast in pain."
"Oh, please, Mr. Ranger Bear, sir, don't cock that rifle! Honest, it doesn't hurt a ..."
BOOOOM!
Thud.

TO SETTLE DISPUTES WITH ASSHOLES USING SUPERIOR FIGHTING SKILLS

Smokey is a good bear. There is an evil bear though. His name is GIMP. He tries to kill everyone - even animals without scratches, nicks, wounds or blemish. Smokey stops the killings with mixed martial arts. Here Gimp tries to kill Smokey and his baby.
Then Smokey pushes Gimp's car over a cliff. It lands and bursts into flames. Smokey pulls his burning cousin out of the mangled melted metal hulk, eager to put him out of his misery.
But when the whole forest catches fire he makes a deal and promises to not kill Gimp, if Gimp will just help him put out the fire. Gimp always lies and tries to kill Smokey and his baby in every issue, but Smokey is so good that he believes the 3 time loser every time. Dell comics feels that this message of trusting your most vicious enemies will comfort Moms. I find comfort in it myself.

After Gimp betrays Smokey for the 57th time, our hero decides to give him a lesson in Greco-Roman wrestling on a floating log.Smokey is also quite adept at American fisticuffs. Fighting fair is the best way to take care of murdering hairy blue monsters.

Smokey knocks out the killer and gives him another chance in the next issue, hoping that Gimp might pick up a scratch so he can without guilt put him out of his pain.

TO EDUCATE OUR YOUTH ABOUT THE POCKET GOPHER

TO BEAT ENDANGERED SPECIES WITH STICKS

Smokey never forgets to give the recipients of his mercy killings a decent burial. Here he is waving to Moms from the cemetary. "You can trust me with your kids" he seems to be saying.

There are many more Smokey thrills to come.