Here's a submission from Paul. I like that he is instantly wanting to get into the characters. His continuity here is focused on their feelings about what's happening.
I would have aded a bit more context though - by drawing WHAT it is they are reacting to. They are watching the SUPERFRIENDS and the gags in the story depend upon knowing some things about the animation in the SUPERFRIENDS - like the fact that they have flesh colored eyes, or that the xerox pencil lines look really itchy.
You'd want to SHOW that on the TV screen first and make it obvious to the audience.
I also would suggest punching up their feelings with staging and acting.
For example, you could:
open the scene on a close up of Slab N Ernie's face as they listen to the exciting soundtrack coming from the TV.
Light from the TV plays across their mesmerized faces.
V.O. "OK, Zarkon! You've committed your last atrocity on Earth 3! Now all 73 SuperFriends will stab or thumbs into your evil flesh colored eyes!"
Zarkon: No No! Not that!!
Then maybe cut to a shot to show the TV set. End credits of a hundred Korean names are racing by at 6 times the speed of light as triumphant synthesizer music blares.
Then cut back to the kids all excited and impressed by the fantastic 70s Hanna Barbera animation they just witnessed.
(There are other ideas that can be inserted into the opening too - maybe showing the crappy Superfriends style staging with stiffly drawn characters not moving while their lips barely open and close like wobbly shutters -
this would all be quickly sketched out and the order of the sketches would be moved around until we get the best possible flow of the ideas and story -which is what we'll do at the story workshop next week.)
It might be funny to contrast the lively acting in the Slab N Ernie cartoon
with the mannequin-like 70s posing-although I'm not sure where to fit it in.
John K Stuff: STORYBOARD WORKSHOP AUDITION - SLAB N ERNIEThe gag at the end here - or the setup to it is that Ernie is about to color Slab's eyes "Flesh Color" like in the Superfriends. I would go in close to focus on the crayon and Slab's eyes so you can see what happens.
Now, it's too bad Paul doesn't live anywhere near Toronto where he could participate in my Story workshop at TAAFI, because this is just the kind of submission I would like to have.
He, likes me wants to focus on the characters and has taken the time to learn to draw the characters well enough for a storyboard. -and he seems to have a feel for continuity. Some submissions I have seen seem to have disconnected storyboard panels where one even just jumps to another event without and connections between the panels and it makes it hard for me to be able to follow what is happening.
Over the years I've seen that "continuity" is not a skill every artist has. The ones that do have the instinct for it are generally more suited to storytelling and can be taught more story skills to help their natural abilities. Of course being able to draw well enough to convey a story is essential too.