Doodles

I hope I haven't already posted these...

Mr. Meat's Theme Song

IT'S MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE MEAT

Who wants to see THE HE HOG MOVIE?

Here is my totally mainstream family oriented kid's movie idea. G rated. I just pitched it again and everyone laughed like crazy but then worried that it's too edgy, which it's not. We live in a strange world where no one in business seems to want to make money.

PROFESSOR MOLE AND HIS EVIL INSECT BMF THREATEN ARMAGEDDON!
THE BRAIN THAT PUNISHED A PLANET

This is the brain that almost wrecked a planet. It is packed with dangerous ideas. Moles grow on the brain in front of our very eyes. They devour the brain impulses causing the scalp to tingle with a burning urgency too intense for our puny imaginations to contemplate. The brain must constantly feed the moles with fantastic ideas that tamper with God's laws. The brain longs for peace and respite from the gnawing voracious moles that demand ever more frightening ideas. The more awful the ideas, the more delicious they taste.
This is Professor Mole, hapless human host of the itching pulsating brain.
The Professor is quiveringly deranged but not technically evil. He just has a burning brain that must needs tamper with God's laws. The brain wishes it could survive without its primitive and morally infused host. But the brain cannot live without the precious blood supply pumped into it by the generous professor's empathic heart and so for the moment must put up with his restraining ethical principles. The brain needs a willing ally in order to follow through on any of its shocking innovations.
Professor Mole is dedicated to benefitting society through the advance of science. He himself though is so hideous that he is shunned by the very society he longs to benefit and must conduct his awesome experiments in a hidden basement laboratory. The basement is putrid with dank mold and segmented creeping things of a lower order. Professor Mole has an unusual fascination for segments and collects them in jars. Sometimes he makes new things from unrelated segments. It's one of his many harmless obsessions. He thinks maybe humans would get along better if we had crisp segments rather than rude connective tissue.

MIKEY MANTID

Mikey is a praying mantis who lives in the basement of the same tenement building as professor mole. The professor discovers him one day hovering in the dank shadows, grooming his segments - which makes an eerie and beckoning musical call. To Mole's surprise, Mikey is not afraid of the professor's deeply ugly countenance. The professor befriends Mikey and feeds him. He massages his segments, oils them and keeps them in perfect working order.

Mikey is professor mole's only friend. Unlike his kindly master, Mikey is truly evil and joins forces with the Professor's throbbing ghastly brain. Mole, blinded by his love for Mikey, unwittingly commits unspeakable atrocities upon mankind in order to please his voracious segmented buddy.


ask about FEEDING TIME if you dare...

The danger of Professor Mole's Doomsday machine is so great that He Hog enlists the aid of the fantastic otherworldly
BOTTLED CITY OF HUMAN WOMEN!



Beautiful sculpts by Hryma!

Bottled City Of Human Women

A MAGICAL STORY ABOUT SAVING ALL THE HOT ONES

Thanks to David De Rooij

David saw one of my pizza doodles on Kali's blog and inked and colored this fine clean up just for fun and practice and sent it to me.

Nice job!

Professor Mole

Professor Mole is He Hog's arch enemy. He is a genius. Moles grow on him all the time, in front of our very eyes.
Old ones drop off him from time to time. They follow him everywhere he goes and help him commit unspeakable horrors upon humanity.
Professor Mole is actually a pretty nice guy for someone who causes suffering on such a monumental scale.
He's so ugly that people run from him without even knowing anything about him. They make hasty generalizations about him, which is the worst crime any human can commit. They call him a "hard working blue collar white man", "articulate" "nappy headed" and say he's "lost his bearings". This forces him to retaliate in the most horrific ways, all in the name of protecting our God-Given rights to be offended by words that newscasters waste days of TV time reporting on.
Professor Mole creates a doomsday machine with the intent of destroying all categorizations everywhere. Anyone who says "mammals give milk" is a dead man. It's up to He Hog to stop him and restore humanity and observation to the world.

If He Hog wins, that'll be the end of 24 hour news channels.

CALLING ALL KIDS-HE HOG THE ATOMIC PIG

He Hog is the world's most powerful pig. He has the coolest super powers ever:
X-Ray nipples- they emit twin beams of laser energy that can slice through butter.
Finger and Thumb breath: He can flip light switches on and off with them.
Atomic smoothocity: So smooth is his perfect rind, that pants won't stick to him!
Ultra Tasteocity: He has the world's most sensitive taste buds, tasting substances never before discovered.
He can taste guilt-he frequently donates this talent to the Police Line-Up downtown.

He has super-suavity. Girls love him!
He only has one weakness. While kryptonite is the one substance that can weaken Superman, the only thing that can stop He Hog is marmalade on his butt. But try and get it on there!
This is his teenaged sidekick--Half Life The Decaying Molecule. He has no thrilling powers. He's just there so the criminals can kidnap him and hold him for ransom from He Hog. He Hog loves him as if he were one of his very own molecules-which actually he is!

He Hog has many arch-enemies.

This is Mr. Meat.
Mr.Meat has the power of meat. He was raised by meat. He can summon meat to his bidding. He is determined to free meats from all over the world and give them voting rights.
He has a love-hate relationship with He Hog. On the one hand, he loves him-because He Hog is the greatest collection of meats in the world-a mess of super meats!
On the other hand he hates He Hog for not releasing his meats... for enslaving them to his skeleton.
Mr. Meat is slightly unhinged.

Whattaya think? Wanna hear more?