If I Had To Schedule A Kids' Network

What if there was a kids' network that was programmed by someone who actually liked you? If I was a kid, I would want cartoonists to schedule network programming for sure, (instead of psychologists, lawyers and market research biddies) since we are just big kids ourselves and still watch cartoons and puppet shows and play with toys.

Network Schedule

Weekdays:

Early Morning

Little kids get up early before school starts and they need some entertainment.
During this block, we will schedule the cartoons that aim at the youngest viewers.

The shows we pull from will be mostly TV cartoons from the 50s and 60s.

We will age up the shows as it gets nearer 8:00

------------------------------------------------

5:45 am Official Pre-Cartoon Wait

This is a throwback to the 60s early morning schedule.
Before the cartoons came on, us little kids would have to wait through boring stuff for a seeming eternity. This wait would make the cartoons so much sweeter when they finally came on.

We will make fun of this 15 minutes of torture by running stuff like:
The Indian Head with an annoying tone playing in the background

Farm report
Bowling For Dollars
Bingo

Or:

MR. WAIT

This show stars a man peeking from behind a desk with a big clock behind him.
The clock is named “Mr. Wait”

The top of the man's head is named "Truancy Glare"
His lips are called "Purple Heed"

As far as we know the lips and forehead are not attched because we never see them at the same time.

Mr. Wait ticks and ticks and the second hand moves slower as the forehead behind the desk drones on about things you can do while you wait for the wonderful cartoon shows that are like ice cream painted on your eyes.

You can : clean your room boys and girls
Wash your hands and face twice and don't forget your ears
Do homework and eat non-sugary cereal

We keep cutting to the evil clock. It has a mean face and laughs as time slowly trudges away while the kids at home fidget about anxiously waiting for the first cartoons to start.

Time Passing Gags

Vines Growing up House

Kids look outside Window- they see a rabbit decomposing (time lapse photography)



Finally a cartoon title sequence starts up, and just as the kids get all excited, the film breaks and we cut to a card that reads “Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By”

Over the card we play “Java"http://www.last.fm/music/Al+Hirt/+videos/+1-uaABY5tyCPY

We cut back to the clock for a 5 second countdown, 5,4,3,2..........1. A planet teeming with life explodes on screen and then the real cartoons start!

The kids go crazy!

6:00 – 6:30 - Cartoon Cereal Serials and Shorts

a) Serial

Every day from Monday to Friday we will run a serialized cartoon strip from the 50s or 60s.
Ruff’ 'N’ Reddy
Clutch Cargo
Colonel Bleep
Tom Terrific
Etc.

Each of these series were made of 5 minute episodes that ended with a cliffhanger. There would be anywhere from 10-20 episodes of these serials.
The kids have to watch every day to find out how the story ends.

b) Short TV cartoons that weren’t part of half hour shows, like:

Dodo The Kid From Outer Space
Hercules
Roger Ramjet
Lippy The Lion and Hardy Har Har

The Lineup After the Early Morning Half Hour:

Monday

6:30 Deputy Dawg
7:00 Super Six
7:30 Tom and Jerry

Tuesday

The Flintstones
Alvin and The Chipmunks
Heckle and Jeckle

Wednesday

The Jetsons
Bozo
Fox and Crow and Friends

Thursday

Magilla Gorilla
Astroboy
HarveyToons

Friday

Top Cat
Mighty Heroes
Woody Woodpecker with Walter Lantz

------------------------------------------------

Lunch Hour

Secret Cartoon Club:

This is a live-action wraparound for a show that features assorted short syndicated cartoons or some new ones.

The show opens with a wobbly hand held camera coming up to a door with a little closed peep slot.
Above the peep slot is a sign: “Secret Cartoon Club. No Grownups Allowed” scrawled in childlike lettering.

The camera stops and a little fist raises up into scene to knock on the door
Rap rap rap

The little panel opens and we see eyes peering down at the kid who knocked.
“What’s the password?”
“Immaturity!”
The door opens and the kid is let into a secret room in a run down clubhouse.
There are folding chairs in the middle of the room.

Kids dressed in 50s type clothes are sitting in the chairs
Striped shirts, Beany caps, Jughead hats
Girls in frilly dresses with chocolate smears on their faces

There is also a live duck with a striped shirt sitting on one of the chairs
The duck's master on another.
This is the cartoon audience.

There is a raised stage with an old screen.

A Projector starts up and runs the cartoons.

Every day we do gags in the live set about how important it is to keep this whole club secret.

MAN INTERLOPER

One day there is a full grown man sitting in one of the chairs.

He is dressed in a kids’ outfit

It’s too small

Shorts, with hairy legs coming out

click the link below to see more details:

A MAN IS NO MATCH FOR A WISE DUCK

Half way through the episode an alarm goes off and we realize that this is a grownup

The kids capture him and lead him to the punishment chamber

The Secret Cartoon Club Of The Future

One day we have a contest
One of the kids wins and the prize is:
He gets to travel to a million years in the future
Everything we know of is gone, except the secret cartoon club, because there will always be a need for cartoons
A giant brain projects cartoon films directly into the minds of kids

------------------------------------------------

After School

3:00
Huckleberry Hound
3:30
Beany and Cecil
4:00
Quick Draw McGraw
4:30
Yogi Bear

------------------------------------------------

Saturday Morning

On Saturday Mornings we feature our big guns.

Great packages of classic fully animated classic cartoons and 3 Stooges. - Plus new cartoons that I produce.

The Three Stooges
The Original 1960 Bugs Bunny Show
Mighty Mouse Playhouse
Tom and Jerry/Tex Avery Show
Popeye
The Daffy Duck Show




This is all the wild 40s WB cartoons with new wraparounds animated in Bob Clampett’s style by John and his crew
Wraparounds, presentation
All of our cartoon programming will be presented with really fun intros and wraparounds, plus commercials for our toy company
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/12/direct-sponsorship-sell-toys-of.html

The toy company will license the characters from the cartoons we run and make merchandise for all the characters. Then we'd make commercials selling the toys.

Original Programming:

Wally Whimsy and The Goofy Gremlins
http://johnkpitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/wally-whimsy-pilot-story.html

He Hog The Atomic Pig
http://johnkpitch.blogspot.com/2008/01/he-hog-and-villains.html

The Heartacheshttp://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/02/calling-all-girls-heartaches.html

Kaspar The Unfriendly Bear and His Enemieshttp://johnkpitch.blogspot.com/2009/09/kaspar-pilot.html

Never would there be more fun than if I was a programming executive. I reckon I can promise you that.

The Secret Cartoon Club

This is a live action show in the style of 60s local kid shows. The live action is just a funny format to introduce short cartoons within the program:It stars a zany host and lots of puppets, and live kids in the audience.

Secret Lunchtime Cartoon Club

Some Recurring Live Action Characters

The Suspicious Widow

There is a neighborhood Widow that lives in a sewer pipe opening at the edge of town.
She is always spying on the Secret Cartoon Club Shack.

She thinks that something wrong is going on in there-like the kids are having fun watching cartoons!

She is like Mrs. Kravitz in Bewitched. She wants to report any suspicious behavior to the authorities.

She doesn’t like anyone having a good time. Especially kids.

She also wants kids to watch cartoons that are good for them.

She recommends The Biddy Network, a network run by soccer moms and psychologists that has cartoons about being polite, cleaning up the environment and going to school.

Of course the kids hate the Biddy Network and only watch ours because it is bad for them and proud of it.

Officer Friendly

The local cop. He is very nice and very gullible.
He helps everyone and distrusts no one.
He loves kids.

He thinks the kids in the Secret Cartoon Club are in there doing their homework.
The Suspicious Widow always goes to him with evidence that the kids are actually up to no good, having fun.

Mr. Gorilla Suit

Mr. Gorilla Suit is the neighborhood impostor.

He is not really a gorilla and has a mangy ripped up old Gorilla suit, but no one seems to mind.

The kids sometimes call upon his services to chase The Suspicious Widow back into her mean old grimy sewer.

Guard Puppets

Outside the shack are really tough looking 12” inch high puppets.


They look like Rootie Kazootie and Howdy Doody, only grown up and with five-o’clock shadows.

They make sure no one but kids are allowed into the Secret Cartoon Club Shack.

Man Infiltrates Club to watch cartoons

As I said in the first draft of the Network notes, in some of the episodes a man dressed as a kid infiltrates the Secret Cartoon Club and always gets caught. Usually by the duck.

The Duck is suspicious

The man, dressed in shorts and a white shirt with a bowtie, sits nervously in a chair in the midst of the other kids.

He has really hairy legs.

Ducks can smell leg hair, and so our duck knows there is something up, before the other kids catch on.

He sniffs at the leg.

When we cut to shots of just the man’s leg, we will use a puppet leg.
It is a big hairy latex leg. The duck pecks at it.

We have a low budget, so we can only afford one leg. Kids and the duck interact with the rubbery leg.

The leg tries to run away but never escapes the wrath of the fun loving children.

Whenever the man is caught, he is led to the punishment chamber where the kids mete out an appropriate penalty to the grown up who has encroached on their cartoon territory.


Sometimes they transport him into the future for a brain punishment.

Another time, they take him to the shrinker and shrink his hands.
This is very embarrassing. He goes home that night with baby hands and tries to hide them, which is not easy.


Duck pecks at man’s finger

Duck stares at puppet leg of man

Latex Leg becomes a popular character

Of course we will have to merchandise the popular leg.

Leg Toys